How Do You Tell People What You Do In A Powerful Way? | Facebook Walk With Reid
Reid: Hello Facebook! Hello, my sex geeks! It is Reid Mihalko from https://reidaboutsex.com/ creator of sex geek summer camp available at http://www.sexgeeksummercamp.com/ which is a business retreat for sex educators, workshop facilitators, relationship coaches, therapists, counselors, social workers, Tantrikas and if you fall under the umbrella of helping people with sex relationships intimacy communication sex geek summer camp might be for you and today we’re going to answer the age-old question, what is it that you do? How do you describe to people what it is that you do?
And for those of you joining us if you want to say hi, hit some emoticons or it’s noisy….it’s noisy right now. Let us know where you’re chiming in from? Where are you and what kind of sex educator or workshop facilitator or healer or however you identify what kind of thing do you do what you do and I’m going to tell people what I would really like you to do is answer this question which if you want to download a worksheet that I think will be really helpful you can go to https://reidaboutsex.com/IDoSexEd and that’ll send you to a page where you can give me your email and I’ll send you the link for the free download for the worksheet. This does two things, one you will have a worksheet that will…..is a writing exercise and a thinking exercise for you to describe what is it that you do so you can describe things really powerfully and succinctly in a sentence or two. I’ll explain why that’s important in a minute and what I’m going to recommend that you do it’s really noisy here today what I would recommend that you do is investigate creating handouts and resources for people that I’ll help them answer questions and challenges that they have in their lives.
So for me helping sex educators and workshop facilitators and teachers, it makes a lot of sense for me to have a worksheet to help you with this situation and to have it set up so like it’s automated. So as a as a business technique or as a teaching and….and helping people get to know you and for you to solve their problems 24/7 because anybody could post that link or share that link on social media and then other people hundreds or thousands of people could download that worksheet and find some solace in figuring out how to describe to their Aunt Gertrude, what it is that they do during holidays or the next time they hang out with Aunt Gertrude or whatever your aunt or uncle is. So these are resources and you can create automated ways to get people to resources and then add people to….if you’re trying to build a newsletter list or a list of….of fans and followers this is a way for you get them information so that you could follow up with them and make sure they did the worksheet or invite them to your next gig or promote your next online course or something like that. So this is really twofold I want to talk about the importance of why having clarity and being able to be specific when you tell people what it is that you do is really useful and useful as a networking technique as well and the auxiliary benefit of go to that link, give me your name and email so that you can see the process that I’m advocating for you as a means of getting your resources to people who need them and also as a…a means for you to experience a particular way that I have found to be really powerful in increasing my reach and being able to help people that I’ve never even met before maybe that’s even you.
Doing a Facebook live video by the way is another way that you could do on getting people resources and educating people for free as a means of them getting to know you and building a relationship with you because the more that people feel like they understand you and connect with you then you know if your information and the way that you help people is really good because again none of this advice actually works if you’re if you create crap. So always endeavor to be a better educator, teacher, business person so that you can help more people and do it with integrity but your ability to allow people to get to know you and your work that’s I think that helps people when they need your services hire you because they feel like they know what they’re paying money for. So these are just my observations. They also seem to be really useful observations in other industries for other people that are positioning themselves as experts whatever that kind of expert is for you.
Let me just to take a look, Azul hello! And Sean, hello Sean! And everybody else who’s joining us. So again if you want to describe what it is that you do a couple of ways to help is rather than just saying “oh, I’m a sex educator” and then you know kind of which can be useful because it prompts people to be like “well what kind of sex educator?” And that’s usually where a lot of sex educators falters and they’re like “well a….I’m a…. you know I’d just…sex education all of it to everybody to the world.” For people who don’t know what that means that can be not just daunting but they don’t know how to use you whereas if you said that I’m a sex and relationship therapist who helps divorced couples, figure out how to date again now I may not need your services around dating but I might have a friend who’s divorced who is you know who mentioned to me last week that they were having trouble dating and meeting somebody and I could be like “oh my goodness” like you know “how about can I get your business card so that I can you know hook my friend up with you.”
We think generally “we” air quotes people tend to think that being more specific is worse because you lose the opportunity to work with everybody but I’m going to tell you that….that studies have shown, researches indicated and my own experiences indicated the more specific you are, the more easily people who actually need you your ideal clients these are for your ideal clients to find you and if you’re really specific and grounded about what it is that you do there’s this added benefit that people seem to think that you’re an expert in other realms. So the more confident and specific you are even like let’s say you met a…..a heart surgeon at a cocktail party and they’re like just as awesome amazing heart surgeon, you might ask them a question about you know your hangnail or something and that’s not even their area of specialty but because they’re so grounded and clear about the thing that they do, you….you’re wondering if they have an answer for this other question.
So again your expertise and how people see you as an expert has a lot to do with your own clarity. So if you go to https://reidaboutsex.com/IDoSexEd it’ll let you download the worksheet that basically helps you figure out because I designed the workshop even for beginners, for people who haven’t done a lot of thinking yet or maybe haven’t had a lot of experience in their careers because maybe you haven’t taught a workshop yet or you just got out of grad school or you’re….you’re just thinking about sex education as a career or running workshops or teaching people tantra or…or maybe just wanting to study tantra but you know that someday you may not want to teach it whatever that is. The workshop is…… it’s windy today. The workshop look both ways before you cross the street people it’s important to not get hit. The workshop helps you figure out what is your ideal demographic; who do you want to be helping? So I help _______ and then solve or fix or have a breakthrough in whatever their challenge is so and hopefully it’s your ideal challenge. So what’s the….what’s the demographic and then the problem that you love solving for that demographic? And the worksheet goes on to help you through figuring out what are like those top two or three things that you teach people that you help them learn or access or get good at or wrap their mind around? What are the three it could be the three mistakes that you help people solve it could be the three unknown solutions to the problem that nobody knows they have whatever…..whatever those things are, the worksheet will help you with that and then you are also led through figuring out how you like to do that? So you know the…the ways that you like teaching might be important for you like I do lot of my stuff’s through live events, I help sex educators learn how to make a better living and reach more people with their skill sets and I do that through a five-day business retreat so you want to understand those things that you help people learn the skills and then the ways that you like to do that if that’s important sometimes it’s not for your initial of what you’re saying but it’s great for you to kind of know how that all fits together and then last but not least and this piece is really….really useful and empowering is you understanding in having words for the benefits that people get from working with you and the idea and this is a riff on something that Brendon Burchard, one of my business mentors talks about which is understanding the difference between intrinsic and extrinsic benefits and what that means is intrinsic benefits are the….the ways that they’re going to feel inside when they work with you, when you help them solve their problems and extrinsic benefits are the ways that they’re going to feel or not feel the ways that they’re going to be treated or seen by their community or their peers or their families or their loved ones. Understanding with the intrinsic and extrinsic benefits really….really useful and powerful when you’re talking to people about your work and the worksheet will help you kind of burn that all down to it’s just one or two sentences. Just so, you can answer people’s questions with a lot of clarity and syncs and you can change it every time you can you can say it differently every time if you want but I think the exercise itself is beneficial no matter where you are in career, no matter who you work with and this isn’t just for sex educators. This could be a networking tool for anybody who wants to share with people what they do and find out what other people do just as a networking solution and as somebody who’s worked with lots of different people all over the world around their careers and businesses, as somebody who’s coached people just in their relationships I have found that that spes….specificity and being able to put it into words changes how people see you and if you have fear that you’ll never find the right person or the right client ‘coz you’re being too specific I’m going to challenge you to test that theory because me being creator of a workshop retreat, of a business retreat for sex educators and not a business retreat for experts that is one of the reasons that has that has made sex geek summer camp so powerful and so successful is that there is something really important about the gathering that’s specifically for sex positive entrepreneurs and educators and so for you in your career if you want to work with just as an example divorced men or divorce men and women or divorced….divorced adults and you’re a relationship coach, I say you should tell people you are a relationship coach who works with people who’ve been divorced, who are struggling with X Y & Z and you teach them how to do this this and this and you know they get this intrinsic benefit and this extrinsic benefit from working with you.
So check it out. I’m sorry for the wind as if I could apologize for it but I guess we could be sitting in a car where it could be quieter but I hope the wind wasn’t too bad today. Check out https://reidaboutsex.com/IDoSexEd download the worksheet and then bonus points if you leave in the in the comment section your answer from doing a worksheet and in double bonus points to the first person to the first person who puts in the comments a picture of them holding the worksheet filled in. If you put it in the in the comments and you tag me in it the first person who does that, I will send you a sex geek t-shirt. I’ll cam you and you’ll get a free sex geek t-shirt. How about that…. how about that for encouraging people to do work ready set and there might be a second and third prize as well so Go! Go! Go! Go! Talk to you later. Bye, everyone!