Romance Home Run – Step 1: Are you flirting with a Cat or a Dog?

by Reid on November 5, 2022

Romance Home Run Step 1 – Are you flirting with a Cat or a Dog?

What’s a Romance Home Run? And do you know how to hit one?

Today we pose the questions:

  • What the difference between flirting and being romantic?
  • And how do you hit a Romance Home Run in your relationships?

Before we can step up to bat, let’s discuss… 

The Difference Between Flirting and Being Romantic

I like to think of flirting as anytime you’re creating a playful connection with another human and inviting them to be playful back. 

Being romantic is when you (or a loved one) intentionally (or by accident) create a situation/experience that gives the other the “warm fuzzies” of feeling seen, loved, and appreciated.

Not all flirting is romantic. And not all romance is flirtatious. 

I’ve definitely experienced my share of being flirted with and NOT feeling seen or appreciated. And I’ve also had plenty of romantic experiences that didn’t feel flirty.

However, when someone knew how to make both happen — Romance AND flirting — during a date or interaction… Then, Boom! Those moments took the warm fuzzies I was feeling in my heart and the playful connection vibing between us and knocked everything soaring to new heights… HOME RUN! And all I could do was cheer them on in a baseball analogy for sex kind’a way, if you know what I mean…

Pulling off a Romance Home Run is easier than you think. It still takes some work and know-how, but here is my “2-Step” approach to starting to knock it out of the park…

STEP 1: Figure Out If You’re Romancing and/or Flirting with a Cat or a Dog, And How Each Are Done Differently…

You might have heard me cover this before, but it’s SO powerful, let me say it again but in a different way…

You Romance a Cat Differently Than You Do a Dog

A lot of people think of romance as a guy/girl thing. They think it all depends on gender. Men should do X and women should do Y and then everyone’s happy.

Nope. Nope. Nope.

The problem with this approach is that it builds up a wall between the genders and actually creates a false container that people think they need to live in. That false container brings along with it all kinds of cultural baggage.

The best relationship skills and advice create more freedom and more self-expression (not shoving you and your loved ones into a box of shoulds and supposed tos). Being “evolved” to me means you get to like what you like whatever your genitals look like and whatever your gender!

So think about romance not from a guy/girl perspective, but from the perspective of cats vs. dogs. Now I know for some of my relationship geeks out there, you’re saying, “Dude, you’re already going back into this dualism. What’s the difference between male/female if you’re just doing cats and dogs?” Bear with me for a moment.

If you are oriented to romance like a cat, you find romantic anything that proves that the person was thinking about you before you walked into the room. You get all warm and fuzzy over what I’m going to call forethought. Someone bringing you flowers, making dinner reservations, sending a card… These are all excellent examples that they were thinking of you before they actually saw you.

For people who’re oriented around romance like dogs (and I’m a dog by the way), anything that tells us that we’re a good dog is romantic. Telling your partner that they did something wonderful, you’re proud of them, or they made a good decision, makes them feel loved and opens them up.

The Problem: 

Dogs are not usually thinking about things or people in advance. We’re very in the moment, very “now” oriented. Dogs aren’t usually thinknig about the people in our lives until we hear the keys in the door. Once we hear that key and that doorknob turning, we are so excited, we’re so happy. Why? Because you’re home! YOU’RE HOME!

All we want is for you to tell us that we’re a good dog and have you play with us and feed us. That’s all. We’re very simple. But of course, for the cats in our lives, we aren’t occurring as very thoughtful. The cats are wondering why we weren’t thinking of them before they arrived.

The Solution: 

Identify which your partner is more like: cat or dog. Of course, people are on a continuum and have some cat and some dog in them, but focus on their primary orientation. No matter what your orientation is, if you’re living with a cat, do some things for them that prove that you were thinking of them before you saw them. If you’re living with dogs in your life, acknowledge them and affirm and tell them they’re a good dog every once in a while.

Example 1: It’s date night. My partner is a cat and I didn’t make reservations. Not because I wasn’t being thoughtful, but because in dog terms, what’s going to make me be a good dog is if I get you the food you want in that moment. I’m not thinking in advance of making a reservation because I don’t know what you’re going to be in the mood for, and I wanted to do a good job.

But for the cat, there is frustration and a feeling of being uncared for. “Why couldn’t you pick up the phone and make a reservation? What’s up with that?”

If your partner is a cat, make the reservations and you’ll win lots of points, whether you picked the perfect restaurant or not (you can always change your mind and go someplace else!).

Example 2: Dogs are very confused when in the middle of their workday, their cat calls and says, “Hi. How’s your day going? I was just calling to tell you I’m thinking about you.” This is a cat’s way of saying that they care.

So cats, if you want to affirm your partner who is a dog, you can call them in the middle of the day, and say “I was thinking about you and how awesome you are in our relationship and what a good dog you are.” I’ve actually trained my friends to tell me, “Good dog, Reid!” and that changes everything for me.

How Do You Flirt with Cats and Dogs?

If you’re flirting with someone new and aren’t sure if they’re a Cat or a Dog, try playfully dropping in some savvy yet flirtatious questions to see if you can figure it out. 

“If we were to meet tomorrow for more flirting, which would you enjoy more: me surprising you with flowers and a dinner reservation, or me telling you all the positive first impressions I have of you and how good of a flirter you are?” 

Once you have an idea of which they are, you can start weaving forethought (Cats) or affirmations (Dogs) into your flirting. 

Note: Forethought is more difficult in the moment because you’re just meeting and flirting with this new person, but you can be playful about the things you’d cook up and do in preparation for your next time together… “I’d create a scavenger hunt for you with clues hidden around the city that would lead us to a delightful surprise.”

If you’re flirting with someone you already know, affirmations can be combined with forethought! You can write your loved one a card that lists all of the amazing ways that they are rocking your world and being a kick-ass human being (forethought) and then you can read it out loud to them in person (affirmation). 

If you enjoyed this tasty bit of advice, jump to the next post on Romance Home Run’s Step 2: Adding Love Languages To Your Flirting and Romancing!

Yours in knocking flirting and romance out of the park with the dogs and cats in your life!


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