Wineglasses can make you a better lover… Really?

by Reid on June 1, 2013

Red wine pouring into wine glassThis is really cool and can take your physical intimacy to a whole new level! And you’ll never look at a wineglass the same way again! Play along and then try it out… I’d love to hear how it works for you!

The Wine Glass Analogy: Imagine that you have a wineglass in front of you. Have you ever tried to make a wineglass sing? What were you paying attention to when you’re trying to make it sing?

Basically, when we’re going around the rim of the glass, we’re kind of paying attention:

  • Pressure: when you change how hard are you pressing.
  • Frequency: the rate at which you go around the rim, or the speed.
  • Friction: how wet your finger is as it’s going around.

If you have a wineglass, go grab one. Try to make the wineglass sing and pay attention again to the pressure, frequency, and friction.

But more important, notice where you go in your body, in your self-awareness, to see if you’re getting closer to making the wineglass sing or further away. Are you listening? Is there a place in your head where you go? Is all your attention in your fingertip? Are you kind of looking at the glass… are you looking intently or with a soft gaze? Does it feel like an emotion, or an idea or a picture in your mind’s eye?

Where are you going in your body, where does your attention go, when you’re tracking whether you’re closer to getting the wine glass to sing or moving further away?

From Wine Glass to Your Lover’s Body: That place you went to make the wine glass sing, that’s where I want you to go the next that you’re playing with your partner. The next time that you’re making out, making love or having sex, imagine you have that wine glass, and tune in the same way to your lover. Even for those of you who don’t have a relationship or a playmate right now, try to figure out where you go, where’s your wineglass place?

This is the best advice I can give you for how to improve your sex life.

This is how you listen to your lover’s body.

Many people focus on improving their sex life by learning better techniques… this is how you could use your finger, this is what to do with your tongue… whatever the techniques de jour happens to be. We can teach you those skill sets (and they are useful), but far, far more useful: You being able to listen to your partner’s body and track if you’re getting closer to creating more pleasure and maybe orgasm or moving further away. Are you moving closer to creating excitement for them or are you creeping closer to killing the mood?

Your ability to listen to your partner’s body and hear their energy and response is the bigstock-Couple-drinking-wine-in-field-25327166best advice I can give you for how to transform your sexual and sensuality skill sets  It doesn’t have to just be sex. It can be cuddling. Are you creating more pleasure by snuggling up tighter or should you be more relaxed? Is it time for a gentle kiss and a nuzzle, or does the moment call for tracing your fingertips lightly up their forearms while you nibble on their neck?

Invite your partner to join you in some wineglass place research and development! Take turns trying to listen in to one another’s bodies, and give each other feedback… I can think of a LOT worse ways to spend a couple hours! 😉

If you want to increase your sexual self-confidence, learning how to listen to your partner’s body is a great tool and can transform everything. It’s almost like having a great sense of balance. Without a good sense of balance, it’s hard to do any kind of physical activity. Without a good sense of self and where your body is in space, it’s hard to be a gymnast, hard to be a golfer, hard to be anything. Your wineglass place is that for sexual and sensual touch. This skill is fundamental to all sensual interaction.

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Where’s your wineglass place? Is it in your finger? Is it something that you hear, is it visual, is it in your gut? How does your wineglass place occur to you?

And if you want to learn lots more like this… join me in Relationship10x!

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