The Lesbian Birthday Blowjob Gone Wrong – Reid Mihalko at Best of Bawdy’s 9th Anniversary Show

by Reid on April 25, 2016

Reid Mihalko at Bawdy's 9th Anniversary ShowThe Lesbian Birthday Blowjob Gone Wrong

Reid Mihalko from ReidAboutSex.com at Best of Bawdy’s 9th Anniversary Show

Dixie: He is a sex and relationship coach. He’s an incredible mentor. He is one of the co-founders of Cuddle Party and he is an epic Bawdy Storyteller. Please welcome to the stage my dear friend, Reid Mihalko.

Reid: Happy birthday, Bawdy. Nine years… that’s a lot of fuckin’…

Audience: [Laughter]

Reid: Hello everyone.

Audience: Hi

Reid: Everyone take a deep breath… just go ohhhhh… because I struggle trying to find the right story for tonight.

Audience: Why?

Reid: I know, I get nervous.

Audience: Well said. [Laughter]

Reid: But there was a story that happened recently. Now, just give a hoot in hell if you know who Allison Moons is…

Audience: Woooo!

Reid: Allison reminded me that in all the times that I come up here… well first off, when sex happens in our house and there are other people involved, like when there’s play parties and things like that at [inaudible 00:01:39] which is kind of like our bat cave. For years, people just never saw Allison and I have sex because we were busy having sex with other people and then one day we had sex and like the whole party stopped. And like people like, “They’re having sex, c’mon.” and it was like seeing like 2 snow leopards fucking and we’re like…

So this is a story about Allison and I having sex.

Audience: Woooo!

Reid: Being partner to a lesbian has its advantages. They’d also has its disadvantages. Not all lesbians but Allison not a fan of second dick. She self-identified as a non-cocksucker. For the most part, you know, we’ll be in bed and she’ll start to go down and I’m like, “Whoa!” and it’ll be like, “Okay, fuck me.” But we make it work. Relationships are about communication, more commitments, we put in the work.

So this past couple of weeks ago was my birthday and Allison surprised me by whisking me away for a romantic birthday weekend. We would come back and then have a big birthday brunch orgy for it’s like the last Sunday of the weekend. But so before the orgy a few days away at a lovely little retreat in Big Sur. And as we’re checking in, it’s very posh. We we’re checking in and they’re like, “Well, Mr. & Mrs. Moon” and I’m like, “I love [inaudible 00:03:49]. I’m a feminist [inaudible 00:03:54]. I will take your last name then.” “We have a suite, would you like to upgrade to the suite?” and I was like… I didn’t know how much this weekend cost. I’m like, “Well, will look at the suite but maybe we’ll stay in the other room.” Eventually we end up taking in the suite. It’s got a hot tub, it’s got a fireplace with its little kit you just light the little bag on fire and the wood is already in there and kindling. I were like, “This is a smart place.”

For right now I’m not drinking and so Allison brought some wine. They had a bottle of champagne we came in and I’m like, “This is a fancy place” and Allison’s like, “You’re not drinking,” I’m like, “I know. It’s my birthday, you can be drunk. What will we get into?” I’m like, “This is working out okay.” It has one of this great standup shower with a glass wall and another bath tub and a hot tub right aside and then deer start bounding out in front of the windows and I’m like, “This is nice.” And I put one of the bathrobes. It’s not like one of those hotel bathrobes, this is like a spa resort bathrobes. This is the kind of bathrobe that you’re like, “I want to steal this bathrobe if this is worth it.” And so I’m kind of walking around in a bathrobe and I’m like, “Shall we go to the hot tub? Let’s go to the hot tub. Can I pour a glass of champagne? Okay, c’mon.”

So we’re soaking, night falls, we had a beautiful dinner in Big Sur. I’m starting to relax, we’re soaking in the tub, we’re watching the stars, looking at each other lovingly, we go inside, we start the fire, champagne’s almost done and Allie [inaudible 00:05:48] me and my soft spa-like robe which is envelops me like a cloud. She’s like, “Come here, honey.” I back a little closer. She reaches into my robe and she grabs my cock. She tugs me like kind of come a little bit closer. She pushes this big [inaudible 00:06:11] I was like wearing a blanket aside. She’s raised the cock, looks at it lovingly. She takes her glass of champagne and she downs the whole thing and then spit some of them back in. Swallows and puts the glass down and says, “I might need that for later.”

Now at this moment, I’ve been with her… 7 or 8 years now, honey?

Allison: 9…

Reid: 9 years

Audience: [Laughter]

Reid: Thank you! Can everyone say 9 years?

Audience: 9 years…

Reid: 9 years! Oh my God! That’s how smart I am. So at this point, when you’ve been with a partner for 9 years doesn’t really suck dick and you’re sitting in this plush leathery like expensive chair and you just happened to be the right height and the [inaudible 00:07:14] thing and we just got in the hot tub and like most of the champagne except for the little bit in the glass and Allie sitting by my feet cock in hand right at mouth level, I become very still. There is a wild lesbian with my cock inches away from her mouth and all of the sudden I’m like Jane Goodall with the chimps. Like no sudden movements perhaps they will accept you. “Don’t make any sudden movements perhaps you will accept you too.” And then it begins.

Now there’s a lot that get to do with birthday privilege but you cannot demand your lesbian partner to give you a blowjob on your birthday. It doesn’t work like that. If that’s on your notes, scratch that out everyone. You can ask, you can hints but doesn’t always happened but it was happening and it was really good. I don’t know if it’s 9 years or it’s the spa or if it’s the fresh air and the deer bounding around or whatever. But Allie had been holding back at me all these years. There is a care and a love and a ferocity that I’d not seeing or experienced. It brought me very quickly to where I was close to the edge. In an edge where you kind of can’t come back from the edge like a surfer when the wave is swelling and you’re paddling and I’m like, “Birthday. She got some champagne saved. Oh my God, it’s happening. She’s going to swallow. I can’t even remember if this is ever happened before.” And now I’m like the surfer who didn’t quite catch the wave but now it’s going over the top of the wave and I’m like, “Oh my God! This is amazing! Oh my God!” At this point I kind of gently have my hand on the back of her head. I’m a left [inaudible 00:10:04] like this and I haven’t moved my feet because I didn’t want to fuck this up like from here down with the exception of my penis, everything is like locked and frozen because I don’t want to break the spell of the lesbian blowjob with a swallow finch. It’s amazing! If I had a time machine, I’d go back to 7th grade, find myself that little pudgy self at 7th grade and be like, “Reid, it’s going to be fine. Don’t change your fuckin’ thing. I got to get back to a lesbian blowjob in the future. Bye!”

So there I am, I have so much love right now for my partner. And it’s not like my world is lacking in blowjobs but this is never really happened this way before. I’m looking down and like I’m the surfer who’s going over the edge of like a big wave and just hold on. And like my hand is frozen because when you have your hand on the back of a lesbian who’s sucking your cock, you don’t move that either. So now I’m just frozen. There’s no this, there’s just… and I feel the energy and the tension and that warm thing that just starts to set things into motion that you cannot unset. You cannot pull back what was now happening and I’m like, “I’m about to cum” which is always polite. If you are shy, take public speaking classes. I don’t know what you need to do. As a cisgendered heteronormative slutty, slutty man, I think it’s really appropriate to announce when you’re going to cum and here’s why. Because in my announcing as the surf board’s going over the edge of the wave about to like free fall into air, I hear from my lovely partner “Hmmmm!” Now let’s get clear thing. It was not “Uh hmm”, it was not “hmmmmm…” it was “Hmmmm!” Now it always a part of me. I’m not proud of this part. I was like, “It’s kind of a judgment call day.” Not really sure of what you said. It kind of a little, you know. It’s too soon, it’s all happening, I’m frozen but I’m not that kind of person.

So I did the [inaudible 00:13:12] thing that I could do which was, “Abort! Abort! Abort!” and I flung into action. I pushed Allie’s head away as I jumped back. Now her hand because she was like paralyzed in fear kind of [inaudible 00:13:31]. So I’m like, “Huh!” and I went…

Audience: [Laughter]

Reid: Now in this moments, the jackass in me is like, “This is fucking hilarious.” The concerned loving partner was like, “I hope I got the right part of my hand in the right place and not like this” because the last thing you want to do is shoot the lesbian’s eye out with your own cum. Don’t know if you’ve ever got cum in your eye, it’s a story for another time but it burns like a motherfucker.

So there we are in this very, very nice spa retreat. My hand over my cock, Allie’s hand on my cock, I spout looking at each other. As we start laughing because it was quite funny, it became really clear to me that communications really important especially when it comes to blowjobs and the processing that we did afterwards figure out where we had misstepped. It was important for our relationship and I advise that you all practice those skill sets and ask ahead of time. It’s not champagne if you would wrench your mouth because you’re going to swallow or just because… I’m thinking that you might do that because it’s my birthday. And that my friends is the moral of the story.

Leave a Comment

Previous post:

Next post: