Negotiating Successful Threesomes Part 2 | Facebook Walk With Reid
Reid: Alright Facebook. Hang on. Gonna flip it, it won’t flip. Here you go. Sorry about that. My phone run out of battery. I…I know I should brought a spare battery but it, it faded away. So hopefully, the first part did get recorded and uploaded. So if you’re signing on and you were watching the first part of the how to negotiate successful threesomes. Just leave a comment and said a, yeah. Just let me know that the first part is still there and you saw it. And I thought about grabbing my spare battery and I…and I didn’t.
So that’s on me. I’m sorry. Now, I’m in…in the parking lot because this is this is the quickest place to plug back in to get my phone up so I can finish the broadcast. So thanks Bob for saying that…that you saw it. I appreciate that. So where was I?
So we’re talking about in negotiating successful threesomes, can you be the kind of person that just develops those skills that’s to lead people feeling safe and being able to slow down the negotiations and interactions because you’re not worried about the window of opportunity closing because to try to make something happen because there’s a window of opportunity closing, that’s usually a bad sign. And you shouldn’t be trying to force sex or force a threesome to happen. What you, what I think you should do, as somebody who has had many, by many I mean, over a couple of hundred threesomes is, just be open to what not happening and be really you know honest with people like, in being like “Hey, like if this doesn’t feel like a good idea or if we need to call a timeout in the middle like I think that is….is smart for us to not to try force it.” And you know, we can always have a redo or never try to redo this again. But I’m not, I’m not here to force anybody to be having sex or to you know force trying to get laid or anything like that. That attitude shift is really huge and will make you, I think will grant you more success in having three ways. And that’s not a gender thing. And like anyone trying to force sex is…it gets weird and especially when you have more than one person in bed with you if the other you force something to happen just because you’re okay with it happening, doesn’t mean the other person is okay with its happening. And if that other person can’t speak up right away or you can’t read their body language, then now you’re having a threesome where one of those people is feeling pressured.
So the more people that you add into the mix the more potential there is for something to go sideways when and you not knowing it because you’re kind the like, “Meh, this person is kinda pressurey but that’s not so bad and you know we’re all here to have a threesome anyway so it’s okay.”But for that third person it’s totally not okay. So trying to get everybody on the same page that…that “yes, we can be disappointed if it doesn’t happen. Yes we can all want it to happen.” But if it doesn’t really pan out like “can we make that okay?” And always go back to calling a timeout and building it back from there. Anytime you need to have a check-in and you have a check-in or somebody else has a check-in and it ruins the moment, I think you have saved yourself a potential train wreck. And that has been my experience and I think that’s really wise advice. And as somebody who has had a lot of has had the privilege of a lot of group sexual dynamics, I think that that is useful information and a useful kind of perspective or approach to having any kind of group engagements. It’s also really good for just one-on-one sex with another human being.
And so if you can get to be good at communicating at slowing things down at checking in with people, making people feel safe, knowing how and what you need to feel safe that makes you a really extraordinary human being when it comes to sex. It doesn’t mean you’re perfect. If you screw up, how you show up to try to clean up your messes is I think more important than you never make a mistake ever because that is not realistic. So there’s some other skills that can be really useful in just negotiating you know the one-on-one sex but also really useful in negotiating threesomes and….and moresomes and all that.
If you are interested in going down the rabbit hole of, of threesomes, I do have a workbook and audio class on that you can check that out at initiating successful threesomes and that is https://reidaboutsex.com/initiating-threesomes/ and I think that brings you right to the thing.
I’m going to keep it there. I, you know these are two videos if you haven’t watched part one go back and watch part one because my battery died and I hope everybody had a really great weekend. And I appreciate people tuning into these videos. I hope this topic was interesting and useful for people and all of the advice for negotiating a successful threesome with two other people, it’s the same advice for negotiating a one-some with or a twosome I guess with another person and it’s probably good advice just for yourself, for solo sex. What do you need to feel safe? What do you need to feel physically and emotionally seen and heard even for yourself? Because creating safe space starts with being able to start to have yourself feel grounded, to give yourself permission to speak up, to say no, to say yes to ask for what you want to you know empower other people to handle their own disappointment and things like that.
So I’ll leave it at that. Thanks again everyone. I hope you have a great weekend. Leave some emoticons on the way out as, as I now turn off the car. And, and the battery charger will stop for the phone. And leave, leave your questions or email me your questions at Reid@https://reidaboutsex.com/.
And Bob, thank you. Thank you for leaving comments. I’ll read the comments when I get inside. But thanks for leaving that one Bob. I’ll see you guys later. Mwah! Mwah! Mwah! Bye, from my car.