Want to try a vibrator but not sure where to start? What is a good first vibrator?
Find out with Reid Mihalko from ReidAboutSex.com and Cathy Vartuli from TheIntimacyDojo.com
Cathy: One of our viewers wrote in and said, “I’m an older woman, and I’ve never had a vibrator, and I’d really like to have one, but I’m scared. I don’t know what to try out. I don’t know what to get that won’t be too strange or weird for me. Do you have any recommendations?”
Reid: Buy a horse, horseback riding.
Cathy: This is Reid Mihalko from ReidAboutSex.com.
Reid: This is Cathy Vartuli from TheIntimacyDojo.com. I’m totally going to be serious now and just be like …
Cathy: You might explode.
Reid: I might. Go ahead.
Cathy: One basic one that I like is the Hitachi Magic Wand. I don’t think it’s actually made by Hitachi anymore.
Reid: It’s called the Magic Wand now, comes in a rechargeable thing. Don’t let people hear you say Hitachi.
Cathy: Sorry, Magic Wand. It’s pretty basic looking, and it can be good to explore with because people do actually use it for massaging their back and their legs.
Reid: It doesn’t look like a vibrator you would use on your genitals, and everybody who knows what the Magic Wand is, we know, but your friends probably won’t know. It will seem like it is not a situation.
Cathy: Right. Sometimes it can be pretty powerful and if you’re not used to vibrators, you may want to put a wash cloth down between the vibrator and your genitals, but it can be a really great one to explore with and see what you like. Do you have any other recommendations?
Reid: Here’s the thing, it’s really starting to be a question of what kind of stimulation do you like? If you’ve never had a vibrator before, you might not know what kind of stimulation you like. Regardless of your age, if you enjoy riding motorcycles, then probably something that vibrates between your legs is a really good idea, more broad sensation, if you like riding motorcycles. And then for some people, what they’re looking for is either vibration that’s really very specific right around their clit. Some people like broad pressure and vibration of different degrees on their labia and their vulva. Some people like vibration on the inside but not on their G-spot. Some people like vibration on the inside on their G-spot. There’s lots of different kinds of vibrators out there that will allow for that kind of exploration.
If you want a good, basic vibrator that has all the bells and whistles, then what I would actually recommend … Hitachi is a great vibrator, but you can’t use it for penetrative …
Cathy: They do have attachments you can use.
Reid: They do have attachments. There’s all these other things that you might like. Basically, there are a lot of companies that make a rabbit that has swirly things and buzzy things and penetrative, buzzy, swirly things. Cal Exotics makes a really good one and just came out with a line of a lot of different levels of rabbits like a basic rabbit all the way up to like, the black belt rabbit. If you’re not intimidated by what it looks like because it does look like a vibrator that you would use for self-pleasuring, that will cover pretty much everything, and the motors that they make for these kinds of vibrators these days have lots of different settings and are actually really strong, whereas, like maybe ten years ago, they were kind of, meh. And then Hitachi was the one that everybody loved because it was basically the John Deere of vibrators and gave this amazing sensation in a very thrummy way not in a tingy way, but some people like the tingy. Everyone is different. All bodies are different.
I’m just excited that you’re asking regardless of whatever age you are. I think it’s important as somebody who doesn’t have a clitoris but does have a penis. I think exploring masturbation and play with other people with toys especially vibrators especially when you have a clit and labia and things like that or whatever you call your genitals. I think it’s great to explore different kinds of pleasure and seeing what your body likes.
Giving yourself that kind of permission is really important and can make life really fun if you’re into that and if you’re not into that stuff, that’s cool too. You’re just not into that kind of sensation.
Cathy: I really like the website, Eve’s Garden. It has descriptions about what the different vibrators do and how they feel. Are there other websites that you recommend?
Reid: There’s some great books out there about sex toys. Tristan Taormino has a guide to sex toys that’s really awesome. If you’re worried about making the wrong choice, avail yourselves of some of those resources and also go into your local, woman owned sex toy store and talk to the floor staff because …
Cathy: They’re actually remarkably wonderful. The first time I went in years ago, I wore glasses and I was all scared, and they were so sweet. They would just like, oh, do you want to feel what that feels like, and they’d turn it on on my hand and let me … They were so patient and kind. It really made a difference.
Reid: Yeah, sex toy stores especially the woman owned and run ones or some of the more progressive, larger chains like Pleasure Chest and Babeland, which is women owned and run. There is a feminist owned or feminist leaning sex toy store adult boutique probably near you. If you can’t get to one in person, you can always call them up and ask them if they have a moment to walk you through some stuff.
Cathy: Good luck with this. I love that you’re asking and exploring this because your body can feel really good.
Reid: For those of you watching, what are your recommendations about vibrators? Leave them below. We’re interested in hearing from you as well.