Where Do You Find Sexy, Kinky Sex Geeks?
Cathy: Where do you find sexy, kinky, sex geeks?
Reid: Look where the tuxes are that’s where you’ll find them.
Cathy: This is Reid Mihalko from http://www.ReidAboutSex.com
Reid: Cathy Vartuli from http://www.TheIntimacyDojo.com my luggage got lost this morning and all I had was my suit bag which had my tux in it so were getting tuxy. What was the question?
Cathy: Where do we find kinky sexy geeks?
Reid: Just hang out with Cathy, Cathy’s got them.
Cathy: I’m not that kinky.
Reid: There’s a lot of kinky people that flirt around you.
Cathy: Yes but not all not everyone lives close to me.
Reid: Mocha move move to where Cathy is. Cathy is like the hub of it you’re like the center of the kinky sex geeky universe.
Cathy: I am not.
Reid: You are not?
Cathy: No.
Reid: Well, where would you tell them to go?
Cathy: There’s several things you could do fetlife has been really good for a lot of people.
Reid: www.Fetlife.com which is kind of like the kinky Facebook so to speak and just to let people know if you’re nerd about internet security there have been criticisms about fetlife’s you know security overall so just do some due diligence and research cause if you’re an internet nerd, security nerds, you’ll know how to research this and just make sure that that meets your you know that if that works for you. I’m not putting fet life down I’m just letting you know if somebody who has friends who are nerdy about that kind of stuff there have been concerns about the past I don’t know currently what the situation is and that could always be changing so do your research.
Cathy: Yes, also I’ve done OkCupid and I run across number of people that put they’re kinky and sex positive. I also have searched in for myself on OkCupid or other places for things like the ethical slut which wars that’s not kinky, a lot of people that read Dossie might want to try the Bottoming Book or the Topping Book and also put that in your own book if you read them and enjoy them Dossie is great or any kinky books that you really love that might get people finding you or you finding them easier.
Reid: So those would be like intellectual ways of flagging on the internet and for those of you who don’t know what flagging is until it’s also called the hanky code it’s were back in the day when it was not safe to be kinky or queer or anything like that people would put handkerchiefs…
Cathy: Different colored one on the right or left pocket…
Reid: And to signify to have a code that you’re into a certain things that also means that if you see somebody who has a handkerchief in their back pocket don’t assume that they are flagging they may not be, you never know you have to ask.
Cathy: You can also go to some events like dark odyssey and I know there’s a bunch of them and again not super kinky.
Reid: Kink centric events, Polyamorous events, and other sex positive events that tend to draw people who are in the sex positive world or just starting out in it. So kink centric events would for the most part have more kinky people than maybe a swinger event although at a swinger event there might be some kinky people. And then your definition of what qualifies as sex geek may be different but for me it means anybody who gets so excited by accurate sexual health information and good relationship communication know-how and get so excited about that they just can’t help but share good information when they find it like they’re geeky about it that for me is somebody who’s a sex geek and you can identify however you want and I’m not gonna tell you you’re not a sex geek and you can, if you want a sex geek t-shirt which is another way to do this is a great way to flag. You can get a sex geek t-shirt on my website go to www.ReidAboutSex.com/sexgeektee and then you just wear your t-shirt which will often…
Cathy: And you don’t have to put it in your back pocket.
Reid: Have other sex geeks come up to you and be like, where did you get your t-shirt and you come back why do you ask? And then it could be a good ice breaker, understand not everybody wants to walk around with sex geek. So these are just a few different ways, you’re looking for those watering holes.
Cathy: Yeah, like in Dallas there is relatively large dungeons, big dungeon there and people would go and they offer classes before on different things like how to flog or whatever and there are a lot of geeks there so you can either offer to teach a class if you’re an expert or go to those classes and meet some other people even if you don’t want to play in public.
Reid: And especially if you know what you’re kinky, you know, where your areas of kink are, if you’re into rope go into rope workshop great place to meet people who are into rope. Also you go on to www.MeetUp.com and do searches for kink meet ups or poly meet ups. Think that there will be meet ups and munches where people will meet at the restaurant and order food and just to get to know each other, lots of different kinds of events but in five minutes that’s what we got for you.
Cathy: And if you don’t find one in your area, maybe start one.
Reid: Maybe. Leave a comments, let us know, where would you look?