Is It Possible To Find Your Soulmate At Retreats? | Facebook Walk With Reid
Reid: Hello Facebook! It is Reid Mihalko from https://reidaboutsex.com/ and it’s our time for our walk and I’m late today because I was super busy getting a bunch of stuff ready for sex geek summer camp which is coming up in less than 30 days. And I’m actually going to take you on a walk in the other direction from where I usually go because I want to show you these cool murals and I just want to do something new. So there are some cool murals and today I want to talk about because I just got home, as you sign on and say hi, where are you signing in from? I see Sunny Megatron from Chicago. Although Sunny could be at large somewhere in the world. I never know. Hi, Sunny! Say hello to Ken for me.
Okay. So I just got back from a bunch of retreats and oh! You know what? Maybe tomorrow I’ll take you for a walk on the train tracks. There’s the trains…look here. We can sneak on to the train tracks and try not to get hit. I’m distracted but now I’m focused. I just got back from a bunch of retreats, teaching in a bunch of retreats and there are some things really interesting when you go to experiences like a deep dive kind of a festival or a weekend workshop or you know like something more than two hours long where you’re like really doing deep work – maybe super vulnerable work, maybe having like these huge ecstatic experiences because you’ve never maybe you’ve never given yourself permission to go to a big powerful retreat. So it might be your first time and you don’t know what that’s like and so you surprise yourself with your vulnerability and the awesomeness that that you know of you like challenging yourself to grow and to be vulnerable and then during this really deep work, you meet somebody who’s also doing the deep work, who’s challenging himself, who’s being vulnerable and you’re doing all these….these intimacy exercises and things like that and you’re really like connecting with people and you’re being brave and courageous. It’s scary but it’s rewarding and then all of a sudden, you you’re connecting with people really…really deeply for several days at a time and you know at some of these retreats or festivals maybe it’s appropriate and you have sex with somebody or you just bond with them really deeply spiritually and then all of a sudden you’re having this experience of you knowing this person. It’s like they’re your soulmate and you’re just like re-anchoring these deep brave experiences….I get I can get a little noisy because it’s kind of by the highway but there’s this cool mural I want to show you.
So there’s you know you’re like the next day you’re vulnerable, you’re connecting, your souls are….are touching, you’re having these ecstatic human experiences but then maybe that night you guys have crazy amazing sex. Maybe it’s a sex you know tantra kind of a thing and you’re practicing are the skill sets and you’re…you’re dumping all these oxytocin and these endorphins and you’d be courageous and brave and somebody’s really seeing you because they’re connecting and….and practicing being present and you’re just like “oh my god, I’ve never felt this way before. Like this is amazing. This is so deep. I feel like I’ve known you my whole life, maybe past lives. I think we’re soul mates.” And then you go home and you feel really sad because the event ended and you’re missing that person that you connected with, and you fell in love with and bonded with and touch souls with and then the next weekend, you rent a U-Haul and you drive cross-country with all your stuff and you move in together and it’s all because you feel like you’ve known this person in your entire life. And I’m here to tell you, it’s not that I don’t believe in soul mates, I’m just saying as somebody who coaches a lot of people in relationships where they met at Burning Man which is coming up soon or at some retreat but maybe just maybe this person that is your soul mate, that you feel like you’ve known your entire life is because they remind you of your parents and that’s why you know them because they have patterns or things that your parents have and that is why you’ve known them your whole life because they are basically a stand-in for your parental issues and you’re trying to do a redo with them. You want to get it right this time and that’s why you feel like you’ve known them your whole life. And I’m just saying, this is my opinion. I’m not a therapist nor do I play on the television or the internet but I think your parental issues are best dealt with….with your parents if they’re still alive and if they’re not, in a workshop and maybe in a therapy across the board, go take a family constellation workshop, go take…go get some therapy like professional listeners. I’m a big proponent of professional listeners and work on completing whatever unresolved family stuff you might have for yourself and….and then see if that person from the retreat is still alluring to you, if they’re still your soul mate.
I just think that personal relationship space, intimate space is where we should really be playing cheerleaders and supporting each other rather than kind of going and mistakenly playing therapists for our…our intimate folk and again like you’d be a good friend, maybe you’re already in a relationship and you’re realizing “holy crap! They’re my dad or they’re my mom.” But you can stop being a therapist and start being the cheerleader that your partners really need. And if you have some unfinished family business, then take a workshop and finish it so that you will have even more available for the people in your life that you loved. And you know it’s just a hunch. I’ve seen it happen over and over again with the people in relationships and not a lot of people talk about that kind of thing. So I’d just want to talk about it today because I think it’s useful. And if that person is still you know really truly is your soul mate, they will be your soul mate forever like you don’t you’re not going to lose your soul mate if you need to go take two months or six months and do some therapy. You’re not going to lose your soul mate if…I think my you know your mileage may vary and maybe you lose them, maybe they stopped being your soul mate. If they stop being your soul mate or were they your soul mate to begin with? I don’t know. But that was the thing I wanted to talk about today on our little walk later in the day here. And….and again like if you’re in a relationship already, it’s not bad. I’ve dated plenty of people who early on who reminded me of my mom and dad in in the bad ways like you can you can have people whom you can share things with your parents and with your family members and oh, look at that one. It’s a good mural. You can share…you can have people in your life who remind you of your folks but have it remind you of the good stuff not all the bad, bullshit that you went through as a child that you’re trying to get a redo on, that you’re trying to you know have a take two and get it right this time. I just think that that’s….that’s this way more useful to work on when you want to work at that in a workshop or therapy or something like that.
So maybe this is a preview for tomorrow. Tomorrow, we’ll crawl over or not over but under…under the fence here and we’ll go take a walk along the train tracks. And we’ll do that tomorrow. That would be fun. And then there’s plenty of room over there, there’s plenty of places to walk where I’m not going to get hit by train, so don’t worry. It’s all going to be fine but that’ll be exciting. So that’s the video for today. I…I hope it landed on you all in a really good way. I’m not judging anybody about the family stuff but…but I see a lot of that happen in relationships and…and even if you’re in a relationship like that, you can go get the tools to communicate your wants, needs and desires and just have a better relationship while you support each other in working through the stuff that you need to work through so that you can really show up for each other and not be reliving you know weird family patterns or mommy and daddy issues or things like that. And if you’re curious about these kinds of things, in the fall in October I’m going to be doing a three-day retreat down in…in between Los Angeles and San Diego. The weekend right before Halloween and there will be a costume party and as soon as I get done with some of my camp stuff, I will I will start promoting officially the….the weekend retreat. And if you want some free videos on relationships right away then you can go to http://www.relationship10x.com/. The number 10x.com and…and take some free…get some free videos and…and also learn about our six-week online course.
So that’s it. What do you think about the soul mate idea? And then sometimes the soul mates and how you feel like you’ve known them your whole life is because they reminding you of your folks. Leave a comment. I want to know what you think and I’ll see you guys tomorrow. Bye!