Solo Sex, Making Noise and Celibacy with Reid Mihalko
A snippet on Solo Sex, Making Noise in the Bedroom and Celibacy taken from sex and relationship expert Reid Mihalko of ReidAboutSex.com’s longer lecture, “Non-Conservative Sex: From Fantasies to Taboos to Kink to Queer to Poly and More!”
Reid: Solo sex, again that’s kind of unconsumed. It is non-conservative sex wanking off, okay? Masturbation is good. If you have a lot of shame or if you trained yourself to be like a ninja sex star because you slept in a same room with somebody growing up with a bathroom walls with this thin and you’re still wanking off and being completely silent, again I was once like you too. I think making noise is awesome and now that you might not be annoying your roommates or your parents or something like that, I do advocate when you masturbate, when it’s appropriate make lots of noise because you can retrain yourself to not be so ninja like. You can always go back to being a sex ninja and having sex and making no noise, right? And once I have amazing sex, I was like, “So how was…” and she’s like, “You’re like a fucking ninja, dude. You’re making no noise.” I’m like, “Really?” she’s like, “Yeah, make some noise.” I’m like, “Okay, good talk. Yes, there’s always next time.” And now I’m like, I can be noisy. It feels really great. The noise stuff is really useful because when you make noise in bed, you’re giving your partner permission to make noise in bed and when you’re trying to figure out what they like and they go, “Ahhhh…” and you’re like, “Ah… that thing with the… like that, I think they like that. Let’s try that again. The thing and the… with the” and they’re like, “Hahh… ahhhh…” and you’re like, “I believe we have something. The thing and the thing, this way… awesome.” Put that on the fridge, [inaudible 00:02:14] later, next. But if they’re not making any sound, you’re like, “The thing and the… no, that didn’t work.” Where seemingly they’re like, “Oh God, please do that again, please do that again…” but they’re not talking. So make noise, okay? And I have an exercise, it’s an interactive with you guys, okay? So, on scale from 1 to 10, 1 being “Really we should start watching TV now”, 10 being “Oh my God, the neighbors are going to call the cops on us”, okay? I would like you all to take a deep breath and then let out pleasurable sound somewhere between the 2 and the 3. We all in here together, we’re all in this together, okay? So this is just 2 or 3, okay?
So take a deep breath and go, “Aahhhh…” Okay, it’s just good. If you’re embarrass just close your eyes, okay? So now we’re going to take another deep breath, we’re going to let out a sigh or moan or noise, it’s more like a 4.5 to 5, okay? Take a deep breath… ahhhh. Okay, this is good, this is good. If you’re feeling this and that, your bloods oxygenated, now you’re neighbors aren’t so like they’re all looking at you like… okay? What I want to go through like I want to see what is 7, I want to hear a 7 from you all, okay? So take a deep breath… ahhhhh. Okay, good. This is good. Remember, I’m with the mic, it’s so much louder than you and I can’t even hear you guys. It’s me all alone up here so you can make as much noise as you want while we crank it up now to like a 9.7, okay? Close your eyes because I know you’re going to be embarrass. After we did this, I want you to sit in your head and be going, “Holy shit, I don’t believe I just did that.” Okay? So ready, we’re going for 9.7, inhale… ahhhhhhhhh. I believe you did it better. Okay.
What I want is I want every studying down the hall to be like, “Wow, I really should have gone to that.” Okay? So now what I want you to do is you’re going to as you inhale, squeeze your thighs, squeeze your ass and then let out through your throat like an 11, okay? I’m going to go through 11. Ready… 1, 2, 3, inhale… ahhhhhhhh, yeah! Okay, that was good. Give yourself a round of applause. Okay.