Learn How To Create MORE Romance NOW!
Ready for more romance in your life? Learn some surprisingly simple ways to create warmth, connection and delight in your love life. Get more at: http://www.Relationship10x.com
Reid Mihalko from http://www.Relationship10x.com and http://www.ReidAboutSex.com presents Relationship10x Free Training Videos.
Reid: Hello everybody. It is Reid Mihalko from http://www.ReidAboutSex.com, broadcasting to you from http://www.Relationship10x.com where we’re basically going to teach you how to improve your relationships 10 fold in just 10 minutes a day. If you’re like me, you grow up in a family maybe where communication skills and emotional savvy was a little in desperate need and things got weird from time to time and nothing says that better than going home for the holidays because holidays meaning family and family means you’re going to be driven crazy.
What I would like to do here is give you 3 of my biggest, most powerful communication relationship tools for the holidays so that you can bring them home or to where you’re going to be heading and hopefully have more fun, more ease, more connectedness this holiday season than ever before and also position yourself to make 2013 year that you transform your relationships 10 fold.
Now, when the big challenges if your relationship geek like me is you start to look for this really huge tools out there and they’re awesome. You’re out there scouring the internet and the workshop world, the seminar world and you find this big relationship tools and philosophies. They’re so awesome and they’re so powerful but they’re near to impossible to the implement because we live busy lives. Some of you have kids and spouses or relationships, girlfriend, boyfriends, whatever you’re doing. Maybe just dating, and you’re out there trying to make your relationship world bigger and more powerful but you got this really big tools and philosophies and they’re really hard to implement or maybe people don’t give you any way to implement that.
What if you could transform your relationships in just 10 minutes a day? What if I could give you a little bite size nugget? A powerful tool and give you a framework to implement that. And you could do that, a little baby steps, every day. What will that do for your life? So what I want to do is I want to give you 3 of those tools for you to take home with you for the holidays for you to start implementing and use this 3 videos.
This is the first one. So basically, what if you could be in your relationships more self-expressed for the holidays and you could feel less worrisome around your relationships. What would that be like for you going home for the holidays? If you were like me, I grow up with a family where my mom and dad loved each other a lot and my brothers, three of them and me so that four of us grow up watching my mom and dad not be able to communicate, not be able to work through their upsets, not being able to align themselves on what their objectives were and what they’re trying to accomplish for the holidays not just their marriage but just for the holidays and that created a lot of angst and a lot of just that feeling of impending doom. Maybe you felt that in your relationships at the holiday season.
What if you could create more romance, more romance and connection for your loved ones. What would that be like? For the holiday season going in to if my mom and dad were able to make each other feel more love and more scene, you know as a relationship geek, I think that would have improved our holidays tremendously.
What if you could get to be a better communicator? Something that I wish my mom and dad could do of course she know for me the upside of it was it sent me on a journey to try to figure out how to be better communicator and now this is what I teach for living. I’ve taught thousands of people how to be better at communicating and working through their upsets.
Then last but not the least, this is just like the bonus. What if you could be better take all this relationship know how and just be better in bed. What would that be like? So this is what I’m going to do. My goal is to teach you how to do this things in 4 videos. Now there’s a lot of other things that I could teach you and a lot of ways and tools and nuggets but I ask myself what would be the 3 or 4 things that I could teach somebody that would possibly transform their holiday experience because we’re going deep into the holiday season right now. I hope you all had good thanksgiving and now we’re going into the rest of it.
What are those things that I could teach you? And for me, can I teach it to you in 10 minutes? So I’ve got first video, that my timer set my phone. And I’m going to give myself 10 minutes to teach you the first tool which is how to make your partner feel more romanced. So are you ready? 10 minutes, let’s go.
Alright, romance. What we’re going to do is we’re going to set this up this way. Think about romance not like a guy and a girl thing. Not like a gender thing. I want you to think of romance as an orientation and rather than orient around it like guys and girls because the problem there, if you gender romance, is that you bring in all the cultural baggage along with it. So if you make romance of about being a guy or girl, you’re like, you just have to bring along all the cultural BS that goes along with it and whatever hurt and upset that you have from other relationships you bring that in as well.
What I want to do is think about romance not from a guy-girl perspective but from perspective of you orient to romance in a way the cat does or as a dog does. Now I know for some of my relationship geeks out there you’re going to be like, “dude, you’re already going back into this dualism. What’s the difference between male female if you just don’t cats and dogs?” Bear with me for a moment. If you are oriented to romance like a cat, what that basically means is what you find romantic, is anything that proves that the person was thinking about you before you walked into the room. What I’m going to call ‘forethought’. Anything that proves that they were thinking about you before you walk in the room is thoughtful, is sweet, is “Oh my God, you bought be flowers? You were thinking about me before you came home to me? How romantic?”
For people oriented around romance like dogs, and I’m a dog by the way. It’s my friends who know me know this. Any that occurs to us as romantic is basically anything that tells us that we’re a good dog. So anything around affirmation. You know, like “Oh my goodness” you’re acknowledging me for doing a really good job in our relationship. That makes me feel warm and fuzzy like how romantic that is.
Now of course the big joke here is that for dogs, they’re not usually thinking about things in advance. We’re very like in the moment, we’re very like now oriented. So we don’t think about cats, the cats in our lives until we hear the keys in the door. Once we hear that key, and that door knob turn in, it’s like “Oh my God! Oh my God, oh my God!” We’re so excited, we’re so happy because you’re home. All we want to do is for you to tell us that we’re good dog and play with those envious, that’s all. We’re very simple.
But of course for cats, that’s not very thoughtful. It’s like, “How come you weren’t think about me before I came home?” So the way that you use this breakthrough and there will be people out there who a little bit of both. And think of cats and dogs more kind of continuum and I’m sure out there somewhere there’s a penguin or rhino or maybe a little gorilla or orangutan but right now let’s keep it simple cats and dogs. How you can leverage this in your relationships to make your partner feels more romantic is if you’re living with a cat, whether you’re a dog or a cat, just do some things for them that prove that you are thinking of them before you saw them and if you’re living with dogs in your life, whether you’re a dog or a cat in your orientation in romance, just acknowledge them and affirm them and tell them that they’re good dog every once a while.
How it works out in dating or in just relationships in general? We’ve got date night, my partner is a cat, and I didn’t make reservations. Not because I wasn’t being thoughtful but because in dog terms, what’s going to make me being a good dog, is if I get you the food you want in that moment. I’m not thinking in advance of making a reservation because to me, I don’t want you’re going to be the mood for. I want to make sure that you get the food that you’re in the mood for that moment. That’s a good dog.
But for the cat, we’re sitting going like, “Why you couldn’t pick up the phone and make a reservation? What’s up with that? You careless ungrateful, son of a b.” For the dogs, a good example here is, middle of work day, your cat calls, “Hi, just thinking about you. How’s your day going?” and you’re like, “My days going. I’m in the middle of my work day. What’s up? Everything okay?” “Everything’s fine, I was just calling to tell you that I’m thinking about you” which is a cat way of saying that they care.
For the dog people, cats, if you want to affirm them, you want to call them in the middle of the day, you can say, “Hey, I was thinking about you and I was thinking about how awesome you are in our relationship and what a good dog you are.” I’ve actually trained my friends to tell me “Reid, good dog.” And that changes everything for me.
The way to take this to your relationship last for the holidays and augment this, is I want you to go on our website, it’s not my website and I’m not affiliated with this website at all but Gary Chapman has a website based on the Five Love Languages. What I want you to do, is go to his website and take the Five Love Languages test and the way this test works out, is that people basically show they care, and feel cared for in 5 basic ways categories. There’s gifts, acts of service, words of affirmation, quality time, and touch. What you want to do is find out what are the top 2 or 3 Love Languages for your partner or for somebody special in your life. Pick one. What are the 2 or 3 main ways that they feel cared for? Figure out if they’re cat or a dog and then figure out how you could drop those 2 or 3 different ways to make them feel cared for into either the forethought or into an affirmation. And to make this choose, this is basically your homework, okay? What I want you to do is I want you to figure out what you can do to create this romance homerun. I want you to have it figure out, you can then start implementing how you can do that for holidays.
When things get stressful or even before things get stressful, you can sit there with your partner and basically land that homerun of romance for them to make them feel cared for and seem. That’s going to go a long way to lowering some of that angst and anxiety and disconnectedness that might happen for you in the holidays when things get busy and when people get stressed.
Some of you might have to work right up until the edge of holidays and your partner, if you have one, might be running around trying to take care of all the rest of the holiday stuff. This is the way you wouldn’t have them feeling loved and connected. When you have them feeling seen and cherished and honored, that’s going to lower some of the stress or at least help you guys to work through the stressful parts together.
Once you do this homework, I would like you to leave it in the comments section below and what I’m going to do is, towards the end of this video because we’ve got 2 more videos and actually a third bonus video that’s going to happen. At the end of this video series, I’m going to pick a winner, who ever came up with the best romance homerun for their partner or for their loved one and you’re going to win, this sex geek t-shirt. I’m going to narrow down to the top 5 comments that people leave. If you want to shoot a video, go ahead and shoot a video or you can post it and add the link to the comment section and I’m going to get those top 5 and I’m going to send them to 3 of my best sex geek friends and peers and I’m going to have them choose the top one.
So your homework, your challenge that I want you to take on for holidays and for this video series, is I want you figure out, if you’re loved one is a cat or dog, what they’re top 2 or 3 love languages are for receiving and I want you to leave it in the comments section below so that I can pick a winner with the help of my friends and send you a sex geek t-shirt in the size that you need. Might be for you, it might be for a loved one. They make great stocking stuffers. Then what I’m going to do in a couple of days, I’m going to send you the next video in the series but to do that you need to put your name and your email in on the sidebar and click submit and basically it’s going to load you into receiving these videos. I guess by 2 or 3 days and send you the next one. And I’m going to ask you to share this video. If you found it interesting and useful, as many people as you want. Hit like, share it on Facebook, tell everybody about Relationship 10x. This is my new project, helping people figure out, how to improve their relationships by a factor of 10. Alright?
Happy holidays. Thanks for watching this video. Leave comments below, get on your homework and I’ll see you on the other side.