Joseph Krammer/Reid Mihalko Interview Excerpt pt 2
Whether you’re a sex history geek with a desire to trace movements back to their source or you’re simply looking to expand your own erotic sense of self, stop wondering and join sex and relationship expert Reid Mihako as he sits down for a candid and indepth interview with legendary Joseph Kramer, PhD, founder of the Body Electric School, The New School of Erotic Touch, and “father of Taoist erotic massage!” See the entire interview at http://ReidAboutSex.com/free-reid-stuff
Joseph: …and what we know about somatic education is the best learning does not take place in somebody’s class on a weekend or in my way. It takes place in our own environment with people who we love or we invite on our own time and in those environments, we need resources and so one of the things that I did is to put the best people I do on video so people could model it but it’s not learning to watch that. There’s no learning on watching it. If they were learning, the whole United States would be amazing acrobatic sex people because of all the porn watched. No. People just watch passively but what this is, it’s modelling online to people can watch and then turn it off and learn something with their partner or with themselves or with friends and then they could turn it on again and go, “Oh, here’s a new one. Notice that.” Turn it off or DVDs.
The amazing thing today is all the teachers I know the best teachers in the world have all made DVDs. When they make DVDs, they try to distill their work and put it in to a very focused way as best as possible and if its edited well, I mean I spent 2 years on some DVDs and they’re amazing. So people can come and look at them and go, “Ah, let’s try this, Reid. Oh, this is really fun. You know what, next time you look and notice this. We miss this. We can try this.” So The New School of Erotic Touch is a resource for people who are learning in their own body. So self-direct at learning is way more profound than having someone else guide your learning. And we go to a weekend often with a lot of sex classes are is we pay for a sexual experience. It’s really a wonderful group experience. “Wow! Lori Grace really throw us a good party there or Joe Krammer really. Wow! An amazing experience.” So that experience.
It’s learning that been carried us like really carried this in our body and there’s some integration change and there are people and let’s say less than 10% who can go on to this experiences and then grab them in and move on but the majority and some people are going for learning. I’m going for the experience. I want to go on my way and I want to go and so there’s a dishonesty there. A lot of people are not sex teachers. They’re providers of sexual experiences for groups.
Reid: So what would you say is the difference between the two then. I mean because as [inaudible 00:03:34] and cuddle party, the design of cuddle party is the first hour is a conversation about skill sets around or permission sets for folks to learn how to make themselves feel safe and when you can start to create your own boundaries and communicate them and you can give your own self permission but sometimes it’s easier to get somebody say try this, do this. In this event, only this and this can happen. So like I’m kind of standing in for you as being the permission giver then once you’ll get those skills sets and you can practice with them and that’s the way you’re making yourself feel safe, I can then invite you into a safe space I’m creating inside of this larger container which is for me as a quick formula to build an intimacy and then try to anchor that experience for people so that they can then take those rules which in cuddle party rules and then recreate those experiences over out in the default world and then the event, we have a couple of month to whenever so that people can come back and reanchor the experiences but I mean it’s disguised as a social event. So people come for the fun but I’m sitting there trying to get them to just learn that they can change their mind that you can say no and not feel guilty.
For me it’s kind of a little bit of both. It’s edutainment in a way this guy to social programming. But I do get what you’re saying. I don’t know if I have a question but I get what you’re saying was some people were just kind of, I’m going to create this deep minute full experience for you and then 10% of those people will be able to replicate it someplace else other than my way but for you as an educator, does that mean you the design that completely different experience?
Joseph: First of all you’ve created an amazing workshop where people learn. I understand what cuddle parties are. I’ve almost got involved and I escaped. I was at AASECT all of the sudden, what’s happening here and I quick got up.
Reid: “Run, Joseph, run!”
Joseph: I did, I did. But I believe there’s all kinds of education. We have all sat through. God, first grade, second grade, third grade, fourth grade…. and some of us, the older you get, the stiller you were in those grade school years, the better student you were. We just sat there. It’s a little bit better now and then high school, God, and then there’s college. It’s amazing how much we talked that. There is a real lack of trust. I would hope and what we call education today is even worst.
I live in Oakland and I’m embarrassed that I’m not in the street with the machine gun because of what we’re doing to the children in those schools. I pay taxes but it’s the worst school district in the world. There’s nobody in my neighborhood that has kids between 5 years old and 18. They moved somewhere else or rent somewhere else so that their kids can go to school somewhere else. So there’s like crisis.
So I started this program called Sexological Bodywork, you can ask me about it. But about the third time I did this it is in the Institute for Advanced Study of Human Sexuality and some professional program and it’s the first day of class and people that come from all over now I’ve accepted people that really… I would say amazing transformers and sexual teachers and all this and I’m welcoming people and we’re starting our education and this woman says, “Excuse me, there’s an elephant in the room that I would like to speak to and I’m sure we all see the elephant.” I just stand up and says all this bullshit about teaching sex. We have to say that for the state of California and all this and to pay our money but we know we’re here up for education. People can’t teach people sex. We’re here and I looked at her. I just said, “What we’re here for?” then and she’s, “Well I’m not sure but it’s not education.” She paid $3,500 traveled for another thousand dollars from another city to come here for this training and she didn’t believed in education.
There are, I would guess half of people that were run into, if they’re honest, have little faith in really education. She was speaking her heart and I said, “I actually believe in education” and I hope that we can… education by the way isn’t teaching. I don’t believe in teaching, I believe in people learning. There’s too many teachers. “Ha! I’m going to teach.” We need people who are learning that’s the result not teachers.
Reid: So it’s more of a midwife in certain way or some…
Joseph: I like that and as sure, I think a provider of resources. A provider of a space. So here we all come together. I create an environment where you can learn and whether it’s a first grade…