What Do You Do When You’re Overstimulated In Bed? | Facebook Walk With Reid
Reid: Hello sex geeks! It’s Reid Mihalko from https://reidaboutsex.com/ and I am at a huge marketing event in San Diego right now called The Traffic and Conversion Summit and it had me think of just like sex advice for when you’re overstimulated in bed and I’m walking outside where I hope it’s going to be much….much quieter but like sometimes in life it can feel crazy and over stimulating and some of us don’t always have our words to talk about these things to speak up to….to say “hey, can you slow down? I need a break” and so let’s see if it’s quieter out here….ahh…..so much nicer. Let’s see here we’re walking “hey, everybody. Do you guys want to say hi to Facebook?”
John: Hey Facebook!
Rey: Hey.
Reid: Hi, I’m Reid.
Rey: Hey, I’m Rey.
Reid: Tell….tell my Facebook pips who…who you guys are and why you are here
John: Yeah, my name is John. Reid and I we met actually at a Brendon Burchard way back
Reid: Yeah!
John: And we connected there and we are here to learn more about marketing.
Reid: Okay.
John: It’s a good time ‘coz yeah
Reid: Well, I’m giving them some sex advice you what do you….Rey what do you do?
Rey: I do commercial real estate. I would have booked all the seven thousands abundance but yeah I know to think about too about sex [Inaudible 00:01:39]
Reid: Okay, let me have this conversation and I’ll try to find you guys before
John: Yes, that’s great.
Reid: I head back. Alright? It’s good to see you man.
John: It’s good to see you too man.
Reid: Alright, so back to what we’re doing. So….so the….the idea that you know you can get overstimulated and not….because we’re overstimulated not know what’s going on and what we need and so like we’re in a sense of overwhelm and don’t have our words. So one of the things and this can be just not in the bedroom but this can also be in a just like in life because let’s say you had a really tough day or you’re at a huge marketing conference so you can geeking out on business or learning something maybe you have a partner or you know a loved one who’s you know in graduate school or just school in general or has a you know a family member or someone let’s say somebody you know god forbid somebody’s ill and you’re trying to do all the paperwork or figure out all the stuff for their treatments and so like you’re just been overwhelmed and overstimulated and now you’re trying to use sex and intimacy to decompress and to kind of reboot but you know it didn’t you know that you’re stressed and you want to you want to use sex or cuddling or kissing or…or taking a shower with a loved one or something you know you want to use that because you have a need to kind of ground and connect but you haven’t modulated your state and it can be really tough to use to try to use intimacy and sen…sensuality to ground when you’re in a really hyper overwhelmed state or too….too much sensation, too much stimulation so that kind of for some people not all people and not all the time but what we need to do is we need to decompress from the over stimulation to then be able to kind of slip in no pun intended or maybe pun intended to slip into the sensuality piece to be able to self-regulate enough to down-regulate enough to be able to open up and connect if you try to connect too fast it or too….too soon it can that just adds to the over stimulation effect.
My friend….I have a couple of friends who are really good at these kinds of concepts – Diane Long is really great with self-regulation and down-regulation and things like that. I’ll try to think of some…..some good resources to point people at but coming out of that you know a really amazing two days of brain sex you know and the and you know having to remember I’m just learning non-stop, try to take a break, go take a nap or even just lie down for 20 minutes and for me to just breathe, put on a sleeping mask, put a pillow over my ear I’m deaf in….in one ear so like I just need one pillow and just take 15 minutes or 20 minutes to just stop maybe that’s what would make your lovemaking session better if you….you just kind of slow down and stopped for a minute before trying to connect. Sometimes what we do is the overstimulation we use the sensuality to….to reboot but we do it too quickly. So we need that middle step, not everybody and not all the time but you may want to check in if….if you’re with a partner with you know yourself because this could also go for masturbation and solo sensuality would be taking a 10 or 20 minute break before you do anything be really great if you just drop the kids off at soccer practice or off at the nanny’s or whatever and now it’s date night would either one of you benefit would you have a better date night if you took a minute to just go to separate rooms and get 20 minutes of alone time? That’s all I’m going to say. So try that out and just think about taking those little breaks as a form of self-care or even prep before you try to connect sex sensually and I’m loving that I’m seeing so many hearts and thumbs up and stuff like that and I just want to say just thanks everybody for giving me an excuse to do my little Facebook lives every day. I’m not trying to jinx it but we’ve done every day since the beginning of the year I think January 3rd I think we started and I just want to say thank you so much.
Leave in the comments things that you want to hear me talk about or email me at Reid@Reidaboutsex.com. If you are at The Traffic and Conversion Summit which is happening right now in San Diego try to find me. Leave me a face on….leave a message on Facebook or if you have my phone number text me and….and I’ll try to find you here while I’m here and I’m also if you’re in San Diego I’m teaching two workshops this Monday and Tuesday so go to https://reidaboutsex.com/calendar/ and you can find out the information there.
Alright. I’m going to go back in because the classes are going to start and thank you, everyone, and enjoy wherever you’re at and just pay attention to if you’re feeling overstimulated on. Okay? Bye!