Is Sexual Freedom About “Whoring” Around?

by Reid on December 19, 2017

Low section of woman with two men in bed

Do you have to have a lot of sex to have sexual freedom?



With Reid Mihalko from and Cathy Vartuli from

Cathy: Someone wrote in and said that freedom wasn’t about whoring around and they felt kinda offended that we’re talking about people having..

Reid: Ethical monogamy? Which to them is whoring around?

Cathy: Yes, that’s what they said. This is Reid Mihalko from

Reid: Cathy Vartuli from

Cathy: And I have to say, I agree with that person.

Reid: Shocking! Cathy?

Cathy: Freedom isn’t about having to whore around or be very slutty. It’s about getting to be self-expressed which may be “whoring” around or sleeping with a lot of people.

Reid: For some.

Cathy: For some.

Reid: Ah, I see what you did there.

Cathy: And it might be for some people being celibate or monogamous or zero monogamous or having just two partners. It’s really freedom and that’s what both Reid and I advocate is having consent and self-awareness and finding other people that are in agreement with you on how they want to express themselves.

Reid: Dating your specie or something like that.

Cathy: Yeah and it isn’t like that and I’ve been in some communities where there’s a community of people that enjoy a lot of sex with a lot of people ad there’s kind of monogamous people are just not involved or if you’re not sleeping with a bunch of people you’re just not living your life. To me it’s kind of a little bit of control too. If you are shaming people for not expressing themselves the same way you do then you’re not allowing people to free their expression.

Reid: It’s a rabbit hole in a certain way if we go down this because what I’m about to say is as long as it is consensual and to the best of your ability you’re not hurting other people.

Cathy: And in legal age.

Reid: Yeah or it’s consensual and everyone’s happier for the engagement between each other then I think at some point we’re adults and in certain we make mistakes. Certainly, we change or the people that we love change and then there’s friction and you have to due diligence if you’re going to untangle something.

Cathy: You know what to commit to one way of being and that’s it.

Reid: Try to leave the campsite better than you’ve found it. Technically can sometimes be a lot of work and not feel like freedom and we could argue that somebody who’s a non-monogamous relationship; what about the kids, what if they’re harming the kids by this situation. We get into a new whole philosophical discussion and I know just as many people who grew up in divorced families who are actually really healthy and savvy. Some of them monogamous, some of them non-monogamous and I know some people who grew up in families where no one whore around and everybody seemed to be monogamous and those people are completely fucked up. Some of them are well-adjusted and I meet some people who kind of rock are growing up in a family of non-monogamous. My rambling point here is I think what’s needed is a really great discussion about choice, about healthy relationship dynamics and what makes a healthy human beings and happy human beings, I don’t know if that’s monogamy or non-monogamy and that’s actually a choice stuff Cathy was talking about.

Cathy: You may not know what is right for you unless you try it. Or you can be clear what is right for you. Try to fit things one at a time in a box I think stifles freedom.

Reid: Because I’m very pro sex worker and I know some amazingly healthy, amazingly awesome badass group, great whores and sex workers out there. People who I identify as whores. People who that I know who don’t identify.. I’m going to stop there. But I just want to let my whores out there or people identify as doing sex work, I’m on your side and I’m sure we’re gonna have a lot of hate comments because I said that.

Cathy: I think everyone should be able to use their body the way they want as long as they are consensus on both side. We’d love to hear your comments whatever they are.

Reid: Leave some comments below.

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