How Do I Leave A Play Party?
Cathy: How do you leave a play party?
Reid: This is Cathy Vartuli from https://TheIntimactDojo.com/.
Cathy: And Reid Mihalko from https://ReidAboutSex.com/.
Reid: Surprise me! How do you leave a play party?
Cathy: Yes. If you’re at a play party and you either get overwhelmed or you’ve just done being at a play party, how do you politely leave in a way that leaves everybody feeling good?
Reid: Well, I mean you know I like to tell people say goodbye to somebody. So that somebody can say goodbye to you, so you feel like you’re seen. You could say goodbye to the host if that’s important to you, if they’re available, if they’re face-first and somebody.
Cathy: And maybe not.
Reid: Well.
Cathy: Yeah. What I think I’m really shy. So, when I was first learning to be social, a good friend of mine was like, show up at the right time, make sure to thank the host for having the party and I think this applies to any kind of party. Stay for a while anyway and talk to a couple of people any way, make it like some kind of connection and then when you’re leaving again it’s less their face first with somebody thank the host because people do remember that a lot of people don’t they just disappear and there’s not really the person went to a lot of trouble to put the party together and invite people on. It takes courage to do that, it takes time to clean the house and put out the condoms and really open everything. So, I like to make sure to thank them, it also anchors and I usually like to offer to help, she said like ask anything you can do before you leave that would leave them feeling more relaxed after the party.
Reid: I mean, if somebody who throws events whenever there’s somebody who takes it upon themselves to help do the dishes or something or load the dishwasher. Now, again you might have a host that doesn’t want you up in their dishwasher but at least asking for if it’s appropriate volunteering yourself in doing something without asking. I only said because I have one friend where I’d help clean up their kitchen and that was not something they appreciated. Again, it’s really kind of checking in but I do like the idea may be say Hi to three or five people and say goodbye to three or five people.
Cathy: Yeah. Kind of just making yourself known. It’s good like you said when they’re leaving a party just to let someone know you’re leaving some people know you’re not upset.
Reid: Well, even if you’re upset.
Cathy: Yeah. Somebody knows you’re checking in.
Reid: Like, it’s okay to be upset in a play party and its okay to say goodbye to someone. I know that for me as a host one when I thought somebody left early or didn’t get to say goodbye to them sometimes I’ll worry if everything was okay for them. When somebody says goodbye to me and even if they’re having feels at least I get a moment to check in and I assume it feels good for people who are leaving to have somebody acknowledge that they were there.
Cathy: That you’re leaving, that you’re there. Yeah. I like to clean up first few parties I went to your place, I wash dishes because it made me feel safe and it gave me a reason to be there but I also like to try to leave a campsite better I found it the way you talk about and I like to find a couple of shy people to talk to and I also like to acknowledge the host or hostess for something. I’ve been to some parties where I was like what can I acknowledge about and like even just the courage to throw a party like some of them just not a good fit for me and I didn’t want to stay because it wasn’t a good energetic fit for me what I wanted to create that day but just being just acknowledging other people for that I think leaves people feeling better off like I know that sometimes I’ve had a party and people have left and I’m like wow there’s kind of people that letdown afterwards and you’re just kind of [Inaudible 00:03:54]
Reid: The play party hang over.
Cathy: Or any party hang over, just they’re all these cool people here, we’re doing this whole things and now they are gone.
Reid: Well, there’s also like as an extrovert, I don’t have this and even though sometimes I do is you extend yourself as an introvert and then you have the social hang over of putting yourself out there and then you need to recuperate.
Cathy: I also like to when I get home especially if it’s if someone that I enjoyed and I want to get to know them better, I’ll drop them an email and say ”Hey! Thanks so much! I really enjoyed this about it, love your home or loved you know the wine cabinet was amazing, whatever it is. Because the next day, a lot of people I’m like this, I mean you’ll really get up the party I’m certain everything went really well and a little bit later on it the next morning I’m like what about that?
Reid: Play party rumors, it’s like buyers rumors.
Cathy: Or it did go as well as I thought. Getting like just an acknowledgment, one from a purely mercenary kind of way it’s more likely to get you they’re more likely to think of you and invite you back if you’ve kind of anchored in a little bit.
Reid: Sending a thank you card. This is all kind of mismanners.
Cathy: I don’t actually write a card. I don’t.
Reid: Some people.
Cathy: They’re may be fan.
Reid: Never under estimate the power of snail mail, my friends.
Cathy: Oh my God! This guy wrote me a letter and asked me out and I really took the time to write it out and I was like, wow, okay. Yeah. It stands out in the Stone Age.
Reid: What do you think?
Cathy: How do you leave?
Reid: Leave some comments you could generate for us and for everybody else around the ideas on how to leave a play party.