Thank you, Good Clean Love for being proud sponsors of Sex Geek Summer Camp 2016.
Check out http://GoodCleanLove.com, http://MakingLoveSustainable.com, and http://SexGeekSummerCamp.com.
Reid: Hello everybody! It is Reid Mihalko from http://www.ReidAboutSex.com/ creator of http://www.SexGeekSummercamp.com/ and I am so proud and honored to have Wendy Strgar from http://www.GoodCleanLove.com/ which is one of my favorite lubes. I can only show you a pillow pack because the big bottle of it I already ran out of because I use it all the time. Wendy and http://www.GoodCleanLove.com/, welcome and thank you for being sponsors, this year’s proud sponsors to http://www.SexGeekSummercamp.com/. Thanks for making time to jump on Skype so that the people of the world can get to know you a little bit. Hi Wendy!
Wendy: Hi! Thanks, Reid. It’s the best testimonial of all when you ran out of http://www.GoodCleanLove.com/, right? Just this morning, my son was telling me that one of his middle school friends just moved to Seattle for a new job, met a girl on some app and before they did what they did she pulled http://www.GoodCleanLove.com/. So, that actually impresses my kids. “Oh, that product goes everywhere”. My middle school friends that he was mortified that they would know that I was doing that middle school, you know.
Reid: So, this is the thing is what would it be like if I walked in as a young adult and saw on my friends’ night tables my ‘mom’s lube’ basically. And not just my mom’s lubes but my mom created the lube itself. So, I’m super excited to be exposing the campers to your product and you have a lot of neat nerdy stuff going on because you were that person who sat down with me and we went down the rabbit hole of lube technology and you’re doing some amazing stuff so please educate us in 2 minutes about what’s going on.
Wendy: So, thanks, Reid. That’s really kind of you. As I do remember those long conversations about lubricant and really, it’s actually been the absence of that science that the lubricant industry has suffered from for such a long time. You know, Propylene glycol, Polyethylene glycol, Methyl and Propyl parabens, I thought, for years and years were allergens and that’s what I used to tell you actually but in fact, it’s a biophysics nightmare. Really what they are is just really Petrochemically concentrated. So, they are so heavy compared to human tissue that what we don’t know is that that kind of, it’s called molality and so hyper iso molality, it’s toxic for vaginas. And because those products have large been tested in rabbit vaginas, guinea pig vaginas, mice vaginas which have no resemblance really to the human vagina. Human vagina has the lowest acidic PH of any vagina in the animal kingdom, who knew. And so, when products are way heavier, what happens is, all those moistures pulled out of the cells, you create this excess of moisture and that excess dilutes the lactobacilli response which is the immuno response in the vagina that keeps us well, pushes up the PH and before long, you have bacterial vaginosis or BVS as widely known. And actually, here’s the really sad thing that most women don’t know about BV and even worst don’t know when they have it. 40% of the time goes undiagnosed and then you’re 60% more susceptible to HIV and STDs and 3x likely to transmit those illnesses. So, that’s like a lot of science. It should be 10 years to learn that science. I mean, I was doing this for a long time and saying to people forever that people are allergic to these ingredients. In fact, it’s never been an allergy so we like to say at http://www.GoodCleanLove.com/ that we work everyday to align science and love. We provide products that actually make you better and actually have pleasure more accessible to you instead of burning and itching and a lot of unintended consequences of product that really probably never should go on a vagina.
Reid: Got it. And you also have a blog which is http://MakingLoveSustainable.com/.
Wendy: Right.
Reid: And, do you geek out that stuff there or what?
Wendy: Yeah. So, you know, the http://MakingLoveSustainable.com/ site, actually, it’s kind of funny because you have to keep those world separate because if you try to sell your product when you’re teaching people how to love people then they’re like, “oh, she’s a charlatan. She’s just trying to sell her product”.
Reid: Sure.
Wendy: Even when I’m telling them stuff about safety and health they still feel like, you know. So, mostly at http://MakingLoveSustainable.com/, you know, I’ve been working for 10 years to try to add the relationship back into intimacy which I feel like it’s something that gets really short shrift in our culture. You know, we actually have sex before even we go coffee a lot of times now and so, this sort of tells my age but, it’s not like that stuff wasn’t happening when I was younger, too. You know, we didn’t have a whole internet…
Reid: We don’t have hook up apps back then.
Wendy: Exactly. But still, people did that. What’s happened is that we’ve replaced conversation about what we like, about what feels good even like among girlfriends or you know, so, it’s like become these short little texts — “oh, another bad sex night; oh, LOL I hear you”. So, what happens from that is we have no language to like really even express these really deep, intimate whatever they are — intimate desires, intimate fears, intimate injuries. I mean, I think what happens is that after 3 or 4 times that you find yourself in the situation that you don’t know how to get out of, maybe it’s a yes when you started but you don’t know how to get back to no when it doesn’t feel right anymore. We don’t have any code words for that. In fact, the lack of language, I think, creates this scenarios where you can really have your erotic soul be really wounded. If that happens 3,4,5 times when you’re a young adult, you start to not trust yourself sexually. It promotes having a lot of bad decisions.
Reid: Yeah. It’s like an emotional scar tissue and if you don’t know how to talk about that how can you speak up in the moment if you can’t talk about it with your friends when you’re not having sex, how do you suppose to speak up during sex.
Wendy: Exactly.
Reid: And if you just keep having more and more bad experiences.
Wendy: And I think, actually, also there’s a way in which our negative anticipation attracts negative experiences so there’s that home magnetic thing. When we expect it to be painful, it will be. In fact, in sexual dysfunction in general, we find that, right. You know, young people, also, we just did a 200-person survey across campuses nationwide and young people use lube less than rarely, and then women. Coz it’s cool, I don’t know if you’re old if you need lube, whatever. So, if you’re inebriated, you don’t know the person, and..
Reid: You don’t speak at all to begin with.
Wendy: Right. So, you’re probably dry when you’re having sex and then, because you’re dry, which means you’re not lubricating because you’re inebriated and anxious or whatever the scene. And then, you’ll have painful sex and then the next time because you sort have that memory, body memory, then it’s really easy to like have painful sex even before.
Reid: And then you start thinking that all sex is painful and why should bother and, yeah.
Wendy: Or, you just kind of steal yourself for this experience but there’s really interesting book that just came out — Girls & Sex by Peggy Orenstein with a lot of really, really incredible and a little bit of discouraging information about — how many women, even now in 2016 are still saying the same thing their mothers did and their mothers before that: Well, if he liked it, then I’m happy.
Reid: And you just came out with a book as well, right?
Wendy: And I actually have a book which hopefully it’ll be sort of healing in that piece which is called Sex That Works and it’s an intimate guide to awakening your erotic life. I really think if you have erotic injuries, whatever age coz it happens even to much older women and men, it’s not a book just for women it’s also for men. I mean, it happens to every one of us. Sexual dysfunction is not just a female issue. So, anyway, the book actually tries to give people a lot of ideas and permission to really live into that erotic space that we all have, that makes us human.
Reid: Thank you for all the work that you do. I just want to end, coz again, geek to geek, you’re doing some stuff. I heard you had a great time in Colorado some cutting edge lube stuff. What’s going on?
Wendy: So, we are about to launch a water-based, actually, the only water based CBD lubricant in the country that I know of. There’s a lot of dispensers, coz I live in Oregon, that have lube “which just [inaudible 00:09:33] coconut with some cannabis oil in it”. We are using organic Danish hemp and we made this beautiful silicon like alternative — we call this ‘natural silicon alternative lube’. I can tell you that CBD is one of the most powerful analgesics and antioxidants. People who have painful sex might feel something differently when they use that lube. That’s the aspiration.
Reid: Thank you for bringing science and researching and for even funding the amount of research that you do so you feel comfortable telling people what your lubes are all about. Thank you for putting your money in those areas coz not all companies do that. And thank you for making what you’re learning, research wise, accessible to like non-sciencey so folks all over just don’t feel scared and feel more empowered. I’m so excited to be bringing lube to camp. In another video that you and I had done where the sound quality wasn’t so good, you had mentioned that maybe one day, you would come to camp and I’ll just put that out there now.
Wendy: I will come to camp, for sure. This year, we have a show that same weekend but I really want to put that on my calendar because I’m so about having more fun. Today [inaudible 00:11:04]
Reid: I just want people to meet you.
Wendy: It would be really fun. I’d like to hang out with the campers, just share what I know and I definitely need to be having fun in life.
Reid: We’ll try to give you as much fun but of course, the person who made Good Clean Love, I hope is having some good clean fun.
Wendy: I definitely am. I’ve been married for 33 years, I have amazing over the top hour long orgasmic sex at least once a week.
Reid: Well, we have to shoot more videos so we can learn your secrets. Wendy, thank you so much. I’m just so excited about the company, to get the message out there. Thanks for shooting this video. Everyone, leave a comment, share the video and Wendy, thank you again.
Wendy: Thank you, Reid.
Reid: Bye!