Oral Sex: Another Form Of Hot Making Out Session | Facebook Walk With Reid

by Reid on October 7, 2020

Oral Sex: Another Form Of Hot Making Out Session | Facebook Walk With Reid

 

 

 

 

Reid: Hello Facebook! It’s Reid Mihalko from http://reidaboutsex.com/ and I’m wearing my Widener University shirt today from one of my college sex education lectures. So everyone at Widener and their sexuality department, Hi everyone! Thanks for having me at your college a couple of times.

So, where are you saying hello from? How was your 4th of July? If you want to leave it in the comments and say what….what you did. Did you barbecue? Did you hang out with friends? Did you watch fireworks? There were lots of fireworks where I came from last night. It was really….really noisy and it was fun but then that was over. And today, I thought it would be fun since we’re kicking off the summer officially. Although I guess it’s already officially started but a lot of people have their….their summer vacations and stuff happening, we’ve got sex geek summer camp happening in 23 days but I was I’ve got some oral sex on the mind today and I was reminded by I have a good friend of mine K.D. Diamond who also illustrated Allison Moon’s Girl Sex 101 available at http://girlsex101.com/. K.D. Diamond is fond of using the phrase “making out with genitals” and I just wanted to share that idea about you know thinking about oral sex as just kind of a like a really hot make-out session with somebody’s bits and the idea of being a great kisser and what allows us to be great kissers? And we’ve done some videos on kissing before and the idea of being able to listen to somebody’s body, being able to ask people like what kind of you know what kind of kissing do they like, what kind of sensations, do they like a lot of tongues, do they not like a lot of tongues and….and just being able to kind of listen and feel into somebody’s experience so that you’re not just blindly probing their face with your tongue.

It can be kind of like that with oral sex too, with fellatio, with…with cunnilingus and this idea one of like being able to listen to somebody’s body, being able to kind of feel the jazz so to speak of a make-out session, understanding that a lot of people especially those of us who are visual learners are looking to the internet and Googling oral sex and not necessarily finding the educational websites and educational DVD’s and videos around cunnilingus and fellatio and so we pick up some….some bad driving tips so to speak from watching mainstream porn because porn has to look entertaining and look very…very active and that’s not what all genitals want or need especially in the beginning of…of playing with them orally. I mean like gentle kisses and licks and nibbles rather than you know trying to like some alien monster trying to tear your spine out of the back of your head with your tongue and now I have that image stuck in my head. I’m apologizing for that. But the idea of you know starting off slow and letting somebody’s genitals kind of catch up to the experience and letting their erectile tissue kind of come online and let them get aroused before you started like vigorously making out with somebody and there’s a time and a place for that too but when we don’t talk about porn and how it has to look active, we think if that’s all we’ve ever seen that we’re supposed to kind of attack and vigorously be with people’s genitals at first and that’s not really kind of that’s not what most genitals need at first. I mean it can be fun when it’s hot and heavy and you kind of pounce on each other but even after that initial pouncing, it’s often really a much better move to slow everything down and then kind of you know build up the tension and the back-and-forth and…and the connection until you kind of find each other’s rhythms which is you know it is kind of how really great kissing is like you know you can be….have all that tension and pounce on each other and push each other up against the wall but then you kind of slow down and…and get the…the groove and get the feel for each other. And so many people just pick up bad habits from watching mainstream porn. There’s a lot of great examples of porn out there that show you know people kind of easing into the fellatio and the cunnilingus but that’s not that’s not what you’re going to get right off the bat when you Google cunnilingus or Google blowjob. You’re not going to get that that representation.

So, first like just kind of acknowledging that porn, like the way I like to say it is trying to learn how to become a better lover from watching porn, is like trying to learn how to become a better driver from watching The Fast and The Furious. Just understanding that that porn is an entertainment medium and then having a conversation about how do you learn how to listen to somebody’s body? And in one of my online courses, I have a video about talking about and these I’d also talked about in my workshops, the idea of like learning how to make a wine glass sing. You know when you take your finger and you moisten it and then you rub it on the rim of a wine glass and you’re trying to make the wine glass hum or sing, the things that you’re listening for or kind of paying attention to are pressure, speed. Are you going too fast? Am I going too slow? Am I pushing too hard? Am I pushing too you know not enough? And then friction like it’s too wet or is it too dry? And those three things when you’re trying to make a wine glass sing, you’re…you’re consciously or unconsciously playing with modifying each one of those three aspects. Trying to pay attention to am I getting closer to making the wine glass sing and hum or am I moving further away? And that idea of your wine glass place like where you go mentally, where your attention and focus goes when you’re trying to figure out am I moving closer to making it sing or further away? That, I think is the best way for me to teach you in a video on Facebook on how to listen to somebody’s body when you’re making out with somebody you know you’re just kissing them or if you’re giving them a blowjob or you’re doing cunnilingus or even if you’re like rimming somebody or anilingus rather, where do you go? Where’s your wine glass place for you to be able to feel into or listen or sense or into it if you’re moving closer towards creating pleasure for them or further away from creating pleasures for them? And you know that wineglass place I think is really the best advice I can give anybody on how to wrap your mind around understanding where you should be mentally or…or in your body somatically to try to listen or pick up if somebody’s feeling more pleasure or if you’re moving in the opposite direction to that.

Your mileage may vary but I’ve taught that wine glass listening technique, that concept to a couple thousand people at this point and it helped a ton of people start to figure out how to hear or sense when they’re creating more pleasure for people because not everybody has their words to tell you “ooh, that felt really good do more of that or could you use less teeth or could use more of your face?” Not everybody knows the words to use or has the courage in the moment to share what they need during sex, during receiving oral sex and some people when they get super…super aroused, I don’t really have their words to be you know it at all like when they get super excited and super into you being in their genital region. They’re kind of like you know yes when you ask them question. You’re like more pressure or less pressure? And they’re like they huuuuu and that just means they’re pre-verbal. They get super excited and then they lose their ability to speak up. So sometimes you….you know you want to ask, you do check-in but all you get is drool and some of these eyes rolling into the back of the head which is usually a good sign when that’s happening and but you can’t always count on people to have their words all the time.

So learning how to listen to people’s bodies and negotiate and communicate, do check-ins before and after, let people know that if they want more pressure from your face or from your hands that they can grab your head and pull it into the genitals things like that and of course you know as somebody who fellates, when people pull your head and they’re shoving something down your throat that can be a little tricky you can navigate that a little bit. If you’re curious about learning more about sexuality skill sets and whatnot, I do have a whole online course with some free videos in the beginning at http://sex10x.kajabi.com/ and I’ll put that in the in the links when I get home but leave your questions like what are some of the questions…what are some of your…your ideas, your own advice around oral sex or just sex in general? Put them in the comments. I’ll check them out when I get home but I just felt like it you know was good to talk a little bit about some…some oral sex today you know because it’s….it’s coming up on summer eleven for some folks and….and you know get out there and do some self-love into if you’re….if you’re loyal at it. I guess. Because not everybody has people to practice with or play with always and don’t forget that you’ve got yourself and that can you know that can mean using your hands or getting your hands on some professional tools to create some professional results for yourself.

Yeah. So, http://sex10x.kajabi.com/ and then shortly I’ll be announcing my October three-day seminar on relationships which we’ve got we just signed the contract with the hotel and I’ll be announcing that as soon as I get the website stuff up and running so I’m creating a little bit of mystery but if you go and you sign up for Sex10X online then you’ll get some free videos and I’ll definitely be announcing to the Sex10X folks when everything is happening and if you’re not into that and you just want to be on my mailing list, then go to http://reidaboutsex.com/vulcan V.U.L.C.A.N Vulcan like in Star Trek and you can learn the inverted Vulcan technique in a free little video.

Alright, that’s it. I got to go home make some lunch for Allison and thanks everybody for continuing to be a part of these walks. I hope today was useful and go practice your wine glass stuff. Thanks, everyone. Bye!

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