How Does A Married Couple Find A Partner To Have A Threesome With?
Cathy: So someone wrote in and said, I just started listening to Everyone Wants to Have Better Sex with Crystal Bergen and I love it especially the threesome episode with Reid. So, cut into a chase, how does a married couple go about finding someone you could to have a threesome with? This is Reid Mihalko from http://www.ReidAboutSex.com/
Reid: Cathy Vartuli from the http://www.IntimacyDojo.com/ Well I mean, there’s a lot of advice that we can go through, the main resource I would point at is go to http://www.ReidAboutSex.com/threesomes and
Cathy: It’s a great.
Reid: That that link should bring to a little like workbook and audio where you and your partner can ask yourselves bunch of questions and write down a bunch of answers to get clarity which will help you figure out where you should be looking, I can almost guarantee you that the drunkest person at the bar
Cathy: Is not a good fit.
Reid: Is not the right person and the first questions are should it be somebody you guys already know? Should it be a stranger, should it be a stranger who lives a hundred miles away from here so we don’t run into them at the grocery store or the PTA meeting, there’s a couple of you know questions that will help you start to hone where you’re looking and one of the places that you should think about going is looking for community where people gather who are open to these kinds of ideas.
Cathy: Yeah.
Reid: Not necessarily that you’re scoping out everybody to to sleep with it’s so you don’t feel alone.
Cathy: Yeah.
Reid: So that you can talk to people about like, what were their mistakes that they made? What were you know things that worked really well for them, you have like a fact-finding mission where you’re also building community and getting to know people which just in case you happen to like each other you already know them and and you’re like hey I think you person that we had delightful conversations with and who has seemed to have a great joy of having threesomes, I think we could use your help, would you like to help us and that would be a particular way to start.
Cathy: Another thing, you could do is if you’ve never gone to a cuddle party together, go together and notice what comes up with your partner’s cuddling with someone else, if you’re cuddling together with someone it could bring up, you can work through a lot of things and get a lot of understanding of what, about what you each need.
Reid: Because it’s a non-sexual situation where the stakes are lower but it might give you some clues as to emotional things you might need to navigate if you’re actually going to make it more sensual.
Cathy: Right and you can also if you there’s meetups near you or you can meet people, massage parties or other things like that where people are getting together and touching. One you’re probably going to meet people that are more likely to, that are touch-friendly and then you can also work through some of the issues like oh I notice that I really need the two of us to live together or like that person to be gone and we have some time together whatever it is.
Reid: Yeah, don’t go to a cuddle party hitting on people.
Cathy: No. No.
Reid: To find somebody for a threesome that’s not what we’re saying. Right?
Cathy: Yeah. Right. No no no, I didn’t mean it that way.
Reid: Just checking, just checking..
Cathy: No, but you can probably find if you go to massage party or a play party, you’re more likely to meet people that are play friendly.
Reid: Well, for a play party.
Cathy: Yes.
Reid: I know a lot of massage therapist that go to massage event
Cathy: Just for massage.
Reid: They’re not looking for a threesome.
Cathy: Right. I’m just saying that some people that go to them are more touch friendly and sex-positive, the ones I’ve been to.
Reid: Okay. You should invite me to those.
Cathy: Okay.
Reid: I’m just saying if you want to.
Cathy: Don’t use them to hit on people.
Reid: Yeah. Play parties, you can use them to hit on people because that’s an event where people are coming together to potentially have some sort of sex or sensual encounter and so you know I think cuddle parties, non-sexual massage parties, if you can find those, those are great for you and your partner to dip your toes in and
Cathy: Yeah.
Reid: And see what it’s like to have somebody else touching you to watch somebody else touching your partner or cuddling with your partner, but I wouldn’t use those to try to find you know, hey we’re here trying to look for a threesome.
Cathy: Yeah, it shouldn’t be your [Inaudible 00:04:16].
Reid: Play party, totally fine to do that.
Cathy: But you can also go to https://www.okcupid.com/ or Plenty Of Fish http://www.pof.com/ Some of those, the dating sites, if you’re looking for dating, be specific, if you’re looking just for a hookup be specific, but you might meet some cool people that way.
Reid: Yeah, yeah. What would you do? Where would you find your people? Check it out, leave comments.