I Can Orgasm From Intercourse But Not From Masturbation | With Reid Mihalko and Cathy Vartuli
Cathy: I have a very weird lasting problem I’d love your help with.
Reid: What is it Cathy? Tell me.
Cathy: I have many problems with. This is from one of our viewers.
Reid: What is it? tell me.
Cathy: For some reason. He only Climax with dream Sex. He’s never been able to climax during masturbation, oral sex even as he is a teenager. But once He penetrates someone he’s like he feel a heat stroke before he finish.
Reid: Okay
Cathy: He tried methods of masturbating for hour’s kind of trying to delay he’s climax but masturbation does nothing for him. His wondering if you have any advice you’d recommend for this.
Reid: Awesome!
Reid: This is Cathy Vartuli from http://www.TheIntimacyDojo.com/
Cathy: This is Reid Mihalko from http://www.ReidAboutSex.com/
Reid: We love when you write in your questions. It gives us lots of good stuff to talk about. So were not doctors nor do we play doctors on the internet. So sometimes I think you should go if you feel comfortable with you’re, whoever you’re seeing as a physician. Go and check and just make sure there’s not any kind of medical things. I also understand for this is more advice overall if you’re on any kind of medication or you’ve been getting some sort of treatment for something that can also make achieving orgasm very difficult and you just want to kind of like, do you do diligence and just check those two boxes first and then. We start to now get into the realm of just you know emotions and your psychological approach or ideas of sex and then also just skills sex stuff.
Cathy: Yeah! Well this occurs to your like might be an erotic component so theirs very sensuality which is a physical sensation. which is not I mean there is a lot difference in penetration and oral. It’s not a lot of difference there generally.
Reid: What do you mean?
Cathy: I mean there’s still a lot of stimulation.
Reid: It’s very different to me. How are you?
Cathy: I’m trying to say there’s a lot of stimulation there for both of them. There’s a lot of sensation for both of them. Whereas ironically if someone’s in their head makes a needle, it’s a lot hotter to have penetration.
Reid: Maybe …
Cathy: My point actually if you want to pick up me there’s actually a good point.
Reid: yeah! If a raspy just getting over a cold voice. Does it for you then this video is adding something Cathy’s voice is adding something to the sex that you’re experiencing sensation wise.
Cathy: Yes. So there’s a physical sensation of penetration or oral or masturbation. There’s a lot of the nerves that are getting stimulated for all three of them very much even in sweat they are different ways. But ironically in your brain it maybe that your brain doesn’t think. It’s really hot to have oral sex.
Reid: Blow job …but a blowjob from Batman and you’re like YEEEEEaaahh !
Cathy: So one thought I had is if you only like few strokes. What if you found somebody likes to play. That way where you can do two strokes and then to some oral sex or two strokes and they masturbate. Me they do some hand work and just kind of help your brain anchored really good feelings with penetration. Like go back and forth.
Reid: So the other… Okay. So now let’s geek out here. Right?
Cathy: Have we work before?
Reid: Well no. But I get known getting into like were going to break this down mode. So we’ve got what’s erotic and maybe it’s just erotic to be fucking someone. Right? Then there’s the kind of sensation it’s happening when you’re like penetrating somebody right? Like so for me you know fucking a vagina feels tremendously different than fucking as ass and sensation wise, I don’t really cum ever from fucking somebody’s ass. Just because it doesn’t it’s not the kind of sensation that my penis likes to get off.
Cathy: Yeah! If that makes any sense Right? I’m still you know. I’m still fucking something but it’s not just different and that’s not so much and it may be a little bit of its erotic. But as a nerd I can.. Okay so let’s put the erotic to the side and like. I’m just dealing with the sensation that’s all. But for somebody else oh My God your letting me fuck your ass is so hot it doesn’t matter what the sensations. So When you start breaking things down from this perspective also taking into consideration. that masturbating is just you’re touching yourself. So the biofeedback is just very different sensationalized than when somebody else is giving you a hand job. What I’m curious about is as somebody who knows that they come cum very quickly. In this scenario from penetrating a vulva I want to know what your experience in masturbating with a fleshlight either a fleshlight or there’s a masturbation sleeve called blewit hose two I would recommend for you to experiment on because they feel very close to what penetrating pussy feels like. In my experience I mean they’re different but it’s a lot closer that getting a blowjob and the way that they’re made there’s a little there’s some cushion. Because there’s about, you know three or four inches in diameter the part that you’re fucking. So there’s that kind of you can. You can hump it and grind it. Whereas other masturbation sleeves it’s really and you’re using your hand to squeeze. The sleeve and I wouldn’t recommend that for this experiment. If you have money to buy a fleshlight or a blewit. I would say get one and then when you try it use lube. but it take the squishy part out of the container and soak it in body temperature hot water for like 5 minutes. And let it get the body temperature. Then tell me what you got going on. Because I’m really curious how does sensation tracks? And if you can cum using a fleshlight or blewit then you can practice humping it and trying learn how to not ejaculate too quickly. It’s about breathing, this is about different body positions, this is about you know you started to practice now how to learn ejaculation control. and if that’s something I talk a little bit about a lot about in some ways in my sex10x online course which you can go check out It http://www.sex10xonline.com did you want to add anything or advice as a receiver ?
Cathy: Well I think just as you talked to your partner about it that you want to try different things. And you know just penetrating twice of them either touching yourself or having her touch you just kind of changing them be the energy around might be really curious.it would be really fun for both of you and allow you to associate that turn on with other things .
Reid: And if it’s erotic too and you have a partner to practice with. Try this is going to sound so weird but when you wrap your head around it so for me. I’m not really onto it into assess. Hey like… I like butts but I’m not like into ass fucking. So me jerking off with somebody’s ass right there isn’t like Oh Yeah! However I’m really into pussy so if I’m jerking off and your vagina’s right there and I’m like Yeah Like oh my goodness my brain is going nuts. So for your practicing with masturbation if you have a willing partner to lie there and be like… Hello welcome here’s my vulva.
Cathy: And I like when you cuddle while you masturbate.
Reid: See if that helps you get over the edge. and now were just kind of mapping out different things that are working and those vein diagrams where you’re looking for the overlap. There’s a lot in this video it’s already getting along but start there and then write back to us and let us know when how it goes… Good luck
Cathy: Oh yeah! Thanks so much for being vulnerable in sharing your questions.