Taking care of you can make a huge difference on how life feels to you…whether you had a stressful day or want to be ready for a powerful presentation.
Reid: Do you self s- What?
Cathy: Self soothe.
Reid: Self soothe. What are your practices for making yourself unstress?
Cathy: It’s a really important topic because a lot of people turn to food, TV, alcohol and gambling out of loneliness or because they don’t know how to take care of themselves. There’s nothing wrong with any of those things in moderation.
Reid: Some people take their stress way too seriously. I’m Reid Mihalko from ReidAboutSex.com.
Cathy: I’m Cathy Vartuli from TheIntimacyDojo.com.
Reid: Cathy, what do you do to self soothe? First off, why is self soothing important?
Cathy: A lot of people don’t know how to self soothe. Our society really sucks at teaching soothing.
Reid: Please continue.
Cathy: I can’t. It’s too cold.
Reid: What we understand about neurology now and brain and the nervous system is that if you’re not taught how to calm yourself down, it’s not usually something that over night you just walk up one day and you’re like, “Oh, this is how I get my brain to shift from my sympathetic nervous system to its parasympathetic nervous system. This is how I de-stress.” Self soothing is really important.
Cathy: One way to do that is just try different things and see what works for you because everybody is a little different. Some people love candles in the bedroom at night. They really annoy me, the flickering lights. Other people love essential oils. That really soothes them. That doesn’t really work for me.
Reid: Some people like face masks.
Cathy: And chocolate ice cream.
Reid: Homemade chocolate ice cream. It’s a little too hard to eat, but it’s good. Please continue.
Cathy: I can’t. It’s too cold.
Reid: What are some good ways for people to learn or to figure ways that work for them self soothing if people have different ways that work for them better than others.
Cathy: Ask your friends what they do. It’s a great conversation. It’s very cold. Try out different things that seem like they would work. One way I figured it out was…If I had a good friend that was stressed, because I’m an act of service person, what would I do for that friend who was stressed?
I might offer them a hot bath and some tea. What would I do? Those things are probably things that are going to resonate for you, so give them a try. Put on a face mask. Try having ice cream not to drown out your feelings, but to intentionally just enjoy it and soothe yourself.
Reid: You might want to try light exercise, not stuff that puts your body in a lot of stress, but going for a walk, especially in the woods under trees and in nature, very good for your nervous system.
Cathy: Breathing exercises. If yoga resonates with you, meditation or just breathing deeply and letting it nourish you.
Reid: Or breathing deeply while sitting in a hot tub.
Reid: Eating homemade chocolate ice cream.
Cathy: Tune in and notice what soothes you because giving yourself that can make a world of difference. You’ll feel recharged. You’ll feel like you’re important to yourself, and you’ll have more to give tomorrow. You’ll have a better day.
Reid: If you have friends or kids, them seeing you self soothing is giving them permission to do it too. Not only are you taking care of yourself, learning how to de-stress and rewiring your brain and practicing …
Just like with people who meditate, they can get into meditative states more easily over time, you can learn how to drop into de-stressing yourself over time, especially when you anchor it with activities and things that really work for you that are really exciting for you. You can anchor those so that you can go back to them over and over again. Sometimes over time they’ll change.
Cathy: Yep, and that’s okay.
Reid: Please leave your comments below. Let us know what you think. What are some of the ways that you de-stress. If you like these videos, please subscribe to our channel.
Cathy: Bye. I can’t get mine to stay.