An Invitation To Join A Conversation About Synergy In Our Teaching and Healing Lives…

by Reid on June 23, 2009

How Alignment With Your Self-Expression Generates Synergy and Momentum in Your Sex-Positive Business and Career…

Greetings, Peers and Friends!

This is an invitation to a professional discussion, one of an eventual series…

As many of you may have noticed, I’m developing my “Reid Mihalko, sex and relationship educator” brand and business into two distinct arms or offerings.

There is the arm devoted to sex and relationship education for adults (“Muggles” to steal a term I’m fond of from the Harry Potter book), and then there is the “professional arm” focusing on working with people who work with people in the areas of sex and relationships.

For many of us educators, healers, teachers and workshop leaders there comes a point where our life or business, or our creative force and ability to manifest what we want in our lives, reaches a level where we begin to experience what I like to call the “wobble” or “shimmy” of being powerful.

What is the wobble of being powerful, you ask?

Much like an automobile that runs perfectly well when you’re cruising down the highway at 65mph but begins to shake and rattle when you accelerate to 66 and faster, our lives and careers can feel fine and then, at a certain pace or flow, begin to vibrate, and not in a good way.

The wobble or shimmy, as near as I have been able to figure it out, comes from having a part of your life or buinsess out of alignment, and it doesn’t have to be that out of wack to make a horrible racket, but we often don’t begin to notice where our lives or our career is out of alignment until things really begin moving fast.

While a slight wobble isn’t too dangerous or annoying at 66 or 68mph, and while things may seem “fine,” as our lives accelerate to 69, 75, 80mph and cruise along at that speed of manifestation, that shimmy puts an awful lot of unneccessary stress and wear and tear on our car… And that wear and tear, over an extended cruising time of being powerful and creating and manifesting, well, it can and will eventually create bigger problems.

And, of course, these bigger problems always seem to show up at the worst times, right? And don’t forget that they’ll usually show up when you’re life is really flowing and you’re cruising now at 85 or 90mph!

And while the car and mph analogy is just that, an analogy, I think the phenomenon is a valid one, and I think I’ve discovered and am living from a place where I’ve been able to prevent that shimmy from occurring while rocketing forward in my world.

And I want to invite you, my peers, to check it out and test me on it.

This recorded talk I’m inviting you to download I’m calling The Foundations of Facilitating with Synergy, and it is all about my personal thoughts and approaches my life and my work. The concept or approach, for lack of a better word, I’m calling Synergy.

This download is the first part of a talk I gave at a recent Tantra Conference’s Advanced Intensive Teachers Training. This talk is something that I’m both very proud of and nervous to share.

Why am I nervous? Because I don’t usually come out and blatantly share about my inner practice and approach to being who I am and doing my work. That is, until now.

What is Synergy?

Synergy is the combination of 2 out of 3 principles in your life in combination with a fourth quality. And, it’s my belief that having two out of the three principles working in your life on a daily basis begins to give one a certain amount of “presence” or charisma or “gravitas.” It also creates for your life a certain, undeniable momentum.

I think this is why I “occur” as so charismatic to so many even though my life and my business are prone to the same ups and downs we all get bombarded with. It is why, I think, people feel that I am a creative “force to be reckoned with,” and why I have access to so much creative energy and followthrough.

And what are these mysterious qualities or principles that go into creating Synergy, you might be thinking? Hmmmmm…

Those first three qualities are Alignment, Intention and Impeccability. The fourth quality is Vulnerabilty (which I think can be interchanged with the word Transparency).

When you have any two of the three combined with Transparency, I believe you gain access to a whole new dimension or level of empowerment.

Have three out of three combined with that fourth aspect and you’re one of those people who, when they walk into a room or on stage, has a palpable effect on the dynamics of the room or the dynamics of your one-on-one interactions. You begin to resonate for others as a “force to be reckoned with.” No matter what your style or expression is, people respond to you. No matter if you’re the strong, silent type or the animated, gregarious crowd pleaser or the mild mannered, always curious and listening type, people take notice and are drawn to your sense of self and the conviction and clarity you radiate.

I invite you to download this recording and take a leap of faith with me.

The leap of faith is that after you listen to this recording, you give me 90-minutes of your time to answer your questions about the contents of this recording and for the group of us to exchange thoughts and ideas on how to best implement the concept of Synergy in our work and lives.

Whether it’s in your dating life, your business, or your spiritual practice, how can you create more synergy between your intentions, your impeccability, and bring them into alignment with your calling? And how can you be more transparent about all of it?

If, after the calls, it wasn’t totally worth your time, meaning that you didn’t get your money’s worth out of the experience, I’ll give you your money back.

Will you trust me on this? Take the leap with me? Dance this dance?

I don’t often go this deep with my peers and colleagues, and it’s vulnerable for me to lay it all out on the line for you to listen to and then dial-in and hold my feet over the coals, but that’s what transparency and vulnerability are all about, yes?

And attempting to role model these concepts is one of the best ways I know to hone my abilities!

The cost to you is $47 for the downloads 1 and 2


If at any time, you aren’t getting your money’s worth, simply email me and say, “Reid, thanks for the opportunity and I’d like my money refunded,” and I’ll make it so.

That’s it. That’s all I wanted to share. Below, you can find a bunch of quotes that I grabbed from the recording. Yes, the quotes are there to tantalize you further into registering. See? Transparency at work!

Hope this post was worth your time.

Yours in amazingly powerful education,

Some of Reid’s Notes from the Talk…

Please understand that these below are my notes from the talk and are not supposed to be grammatically perfect or make complete sense. Use ’em at your own risk! : )

Alignment is built out of authentic self-expression.

Alignment = the wheels on the car

Intention = seeing out the window + the map (knowing where you’re going).

Presence starts to “occur” when 2 out of 3 are in sync: intention and alignment and impeccability/integrity

Without a target (an intention), your action has a tendency to become “clunky” and fuzzy.

“Sex is fuzzy enough. And if you haven’t done the work with yourself, you have an inability to be clear with your client. And that fuzziness (and we’re ALL going through our own learning curve process always)… You being fuzzy with your clients is you being out of integrity. You’re not being impeccable.”

Alignment/Intention/Impeccability = is what I am calling Synergy

Impeccability/Integrity = Doing what you say you’re going to do.

Action is involved. And some sort of declaration – verbal or otherwise.

“It’s okay for your integrity to get loose. It’s like a drum head or a guitar. You tighten it up or tune it up. You’re not trying to build a guitar that never goes out of tune… The question is, How quickly do you notice that the guitar is out of tune and tune it?”

Without the awareness or a support group that brings it to your awareness or the ability/willingness to take action, you can’t get back into your integrity.


The historical origins of the word impeccability come from the Bible and means “without sin.” For me, it means always shooting for 110%, not necessarily reaching that, but at least striving to reach those standards as best you can….

If shooting for 110% truly is your commitment and you show up like that, and you admit and apologize when those things do not happen at that level and you take responsibility to get them done to that degree or you change the agreement consciously and verbally communicate it to all parties involved… That is what “to be impeccable” is, I think.

Impeccability and “Doing the Work”…

You’re standards are: 1. I’m going to show up when I don’t want to show up, 2. I’m going to do what I said I was going to do or I’m going to change the agreements, 3. I’m going to have the conversations around changing those agreements so that everyone can consent – they don’t have to agree or be happy about it, btw…. This is what “Doing the work” means to me. And when you can do it consistently… People will naturally begin to trust you, and as a teacher, that is tantamount!

With practice, doing something that goes against who I am and my alignment, it becomes a non-choice. I can’t even tempt myself with it.

“When you don’t know what your intention is, and you don’t know what your self-expression is, you’re left to “wandering” in what you’re doing in your life.”

“I feel my biggest stumbling block with impeccability is where and when I am not aware. It’s the awareness factor… Cultivating awareness cultivates power.” -Baba Dez, founder of Sedona Temple

“If you were just a “regular” person and not a teacher, these things [integrity and impeccability] are hard enough! And you want to mid-wife people through their own experience and growth? These qualities are desperately important!”

On Using the Word “Try”…

Yoda said, “Try not. Do… or do not. There is no try,” and the book Conversations With God warned us that the Universe is literal and hears the word “try” as a directive equaling “attempt without success.”

I think saying “try” at a higher level of awareness can be about declaring your commitment consciously, which means you don’t have to be one of those “don’t ever say try” Nazis. Commitment without action isn’t commitment, really, so saying “I will try” without any underlying commitment is just lip service. Add to that the added dynamic if having a “commitment muscle” that isn’t particularly well exercised and you can begin to see how uttering “I will try” isn’t going to get you much.

At a higher level of consciousness, when you speak something into existence, you are saying from that manifestation part of you, “It will be so,” and you’re conscious of your intention and energetically turning what you say into action. You are declaring it. Add to this that what you’re declaring is in synergy with who you “Be” and at such a level of awareness, your saying “try” won’t usually bite you in the ass. (Emphasis on usually!)  🙂

Mastery = Turn-Around Time…

“The point is Turn-Around Time! And Turn-Around Time is basically: How quickly did you notice? How quickly did you take action? How effective was the action (and what should we keep and what needs to be adjusted for the future)? And then asking yourself, “What’s next?” and working on THAT.”

The cost to you is $47 for the downloads 1 and 2


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