A gift to make all of your special times more powerful, more memorable, and sweeter…
A lot of people go for the big splashy moments when it comes to Valentines and love. We’re taught that the more important something is, the more sparkle and glitter it should have. While pizzaz and flare can make experiences feel more special, and there are lots of people who enjoy the “bling” of a luscious dinner at a fancy restaurant, sparkle and glitter alone don’t make an evening special or memorable.
Ever attend a fancy party or gathering and felt bored, alone, disappointed? Ever go to something really snazzy but could barely remember it later? What was wrong with you? Such and such was certainly fancy. Why couldn’t you feel more excited? Why couldn’t you appreciate it more? Maybe we’re incapable of having fun… Maybe something’s wrong with our date/partner/friend…
And our minds start dissecting the event, further removing us from the experience…
Well here is the secret, missing ingredient that’ll shift all that…
I teach this in all my workshops, and I go to town on learning it in my Relationship10x Program. If you mix this ingredient in with the actions I suggested in the last couple emails, you’ll enjoy yourself more, and it’s likely that your special someone will enjoy you more, too! In fact, and I’ll cover this in a future email, understanding and mastering this missing ingredient will transform how people see you, what they say to you, and what they think of you! It’s true!
The secret is… Presence.
What is beneath the waters of your relationship?
The Pluses and Minuses of Presence
Presence may seem trite or trivial, but true presence has the ability to shift everything. Think about it: How often do you experience someone not being present with you? (If you have teenagers who have cellphones, then you really now what that feels like! And it’s not just teens!) How does their not being present affect your thoughts and feelings about them? About the situation?
Others being or not being present with us is only the tip of the iceberg. The part that we don’t see is how our selves not being present with life directly impacts our sense of happiness.
Being present and “in the moment” is one of the most powerful ways to access happiness. And THAT is powerful magic in love, dating and relationships. Aren’t happy people more engaging and charismatic?
Recall someone who was super upset… On a scale from 1-to-10, one being super present and ten being completely checked-out… How present was that person? The more angry and unpresent, the more attractive or unattractive?
Think back to times you really enjoyed yourself. The moments of delight and happiness that you reflect back upon… How many of those moments were times where you were somehow magically tuned into the present moment? Times where you were grounded?
Human beings have the ability to anticipate the future with hope or excitement, and we can live in the past with longing and regret. The freedom of true happiness comes from being in the NOW.
I don’t mean that we shouldn’t plan ahead or learn from our past mistakes, but too many people get stuck in the past or future and forget how to be in the present moment with their loved ones. Getting swept up in the rush and craze of a “busy life” and not being present enough to notice life’s greatest (and sometimes simplest) moments… Well, that is a tragedy.
The good news: You can learn how to cultivate presence. And your presence is contagious! You being more present will start to have those around you become more present… More happiness to share with everyone sounds GREAT don’t it!
Presence Tip: Drop Into Your Senses…
Take a minute now to be here, with me, in the moment. It’s easier than you think to start shifting into the present moment. Try this…
Take a deep breath and notice how it feels going into your body. Notice that the air is slightly cooler going in than when you breath out. Can you feel it?
Hear the sounds around you. Just let them come to you. What can you hear that you couldn’t hear a second ago? The hum of a lamp? Something outside? Your own breathing in your ears?
Notice the smell of the air, and any tastes in your mouth…
Feel your butt in your chair, and the floor supporting your feet. Feel the temperature in the air against your skin, the texture of the clothes you’re wearing…
Rather than darting your eyes around the room. Relax your eyes and let the sights that are around you come to your eyes with a soft gaze…
Putting your attention and intention on your senses starts bringing you back to your body, which starts shifting you into the here and now. Imagine if that upset person would have just focused on their senses for a minute… Big things can start to shift with these small tweaks… And people notice when someone is present with them.
This is especially useful when you’re just getting to know someone AND when you’ve been with someone for years.
The next time you are out doing something that’s glittery and exciting, whether or not it’s the ideas I recommended to make your Cat or Dog feel romanced… Invite your friends/companions/lover/partner to drop into their senses with you. Take a few moments or even an hour to just “be” with each other. Slow things down and be present. Notice the warmth of their touch on your skin, let the glow in their eyes come to yours… Put your ear on their chest. Can you hear their heart? What other ways can you drop into your senses together, and what do you notice?
Imagine what feeding a loved one chocolate would be like if you both dropped into your senses and the experience of experiencing each other?
Does the moment become more magical or less?
I invite you to use your newfound ability to be present to melt away some of the iceberg that keeps us from being happy. Give it a try… You might just be stock piling golden moments that will bring a smile to your face for years to come, and starting a tradition that you and your partner can cherish.
If you’d like to come to join me and learn and practice creating moments that make life and love delicious, its not too late! Get access to Relationship10x Online Now!
xxREiD