If you’re not in a romantic relationship, you can still get your tanks filled by sharing this process with someone. Ask a friend to be your Valentine’s Day buddy, and use a non-romantic version of this! It’ll work!
Remember: Cats/Dogs is not about gender. I’ve met men AND women who were Cats, men and women who were Dogs, and a lot of people who were a mixture of both. Romantic Orientation is a spectrum.
Also, rather than filling the examples below with lots of “they’s” and “them’s” (which would be more gender neutral in languaging), I chose to use female pronouns when referring to your partner. Please translate/adjust/swap out pronouns and such accordingly to fit your world and your life so you can turn these examples into real-life exercises!
As a reminder, a Cat wants to know you were thinking about her ahead of time, when she wasn’t there. That makes her feel loved and appreciated.
First, a lot of people aim for perfection around Valentine’s. And then when they don’t achieve that, they give up. The solution isn’t perfection! Let yourself off the hook. You can create deep, breath catching romance for your Cat partner by meeting her need to know you care and think of her.
Let’s reverse engineer this… A Dog will want to pick the right restaurant in the moment. So they’ll wait to the last minute and ask their partner where they want to go.
To a Cat, that isn’t romantic at all. It seems casual and uncaring. So pick a restaurant ahead of time. Do it Today. (If you are a Cat in relationship with a Cat, you’ve probably already made the reservations, am I right? Giggle. Cats who are dating Cats have other challenges to deal with. I’ll talk about them in another email some day…)
If you don’t know your Cat’s favorite restaurant, call her best friend, her sister, or her Mom (if she’s on good terms with them, that is) and ask them what restaurant she’d like to go. If you need to be sneaky about this, you can fib in the service of romance and tell your sweetie that a co-worker of yours is looking for a recommendation on where to take their partner out for their anniversary, and ask her for a romantic restaurant. Be sure to cop to your fib when you’re on your Valentine’s Date!
(Just to let you know that his approach works, I shared this article with a friend last night, who is a Cat in Relationships. She got all starry eyed, sighed Awwwwwwwwww! longingly, and declared that she wanted to date anyone who would do this. I take that as a good sign!)
WARNING: DO NOT ask your Cat where she wants to go for Valentine’s. Asking directly is less forethoughtful. If you ask her directly, she could interpret it as you not paying attention all those times she shared about what she likes, or that you don’t care enough to remember. Don’t take it personally, but use it as a reminder of just HOW powerfully forethought impacts Cats.
And it’s easy, once you get the hang of it, Dogs, re-wire and anchor forethought as one of the easiest ways to be a GREAT DOG!
Make the reservation now. Trust me. Go ahead. I’ll wait…
Got them?! Great! Now put them in your calendar.
See how much you’re already ahead of last year in the romance department!
Do you need a sitter? Book that now, too. I promise it will be worth it! Want to stay out over night? Book the hotel room now!
You’re on a roll!!
Are you ready for the secret that will make her dreamy with romantic love?
Turn Valentine’s Day into a mystery novel!
I’m not kidding. You’re going to love this! With about an hours worth of focus, you can create a month she’ll adore…
1) Go to the store and get a pack of Valentine’s day cards. The kind we got in grade school will work fine!
2) Keep 5 of them aside, and fill the rest of them with sweet sayings…
“Just thinking of you…”
“You are the love of my life!”
“So grateful you’re in my life.”
“Will you be my Valentine’s?”
“Loving you warms my heart.”
3) Hide the filled out cards in places she’ll find them. Even if she doesn’t find them all before Valentine’s, you still win. If she finds them afterward, she still knows you were thinking about her! Some examples:
The medicine cabinet
The freezer
The glove compartment of her car
In her address book
In her sock drawer
You get the picture. Ideally she’ll find them over the next month, and be reminded that you’re thinking of her and planned ahead. This will make her purr! (Quick note: THIS WORKS on men who are Cats, too!!!)
4)Take the remaining 5 cards…Address the envelopes to her and stamp them (or you can slip them onto her pillow before she comes to bed). And of course, vary this to fit your relationship and personality (and ability to remember to do it)!
A) On the first one, say: “Do not make plans for February 14th, we already have plans from 7pm on…” (If you need a sitter, include a “P.S. The sitter will be arriving at 6:45pm, its all taken care of.” If you have a hotel, you can include that here, or send her a separate card inviting her to pack an overnight bag for a mysterious get away!) Send/deliver this one right away.
B) On the second one, say: “On the 14th, dress will be (casual, dressy, formal).” If you don’t know, ask her friend, sister, or Mother. Or call the restaurant and ask. Send/deliver this one in 5 days.
C) On the third one, say: “Wear something special under your clothes on the 14th… I want to undress you slowly when we get home.” You can really wow her by including a Victoria Secret Gift Card with this. Send/deliver this in 10 days.
D) On the fourth one, say: “We have a long time to wait until our magical night on the 14th…I’m thinking of how beautiful you look and how much I want to show you I love you when we get home.” Bonus points if you include a gift card to a local sex toy store. Send/deliver this 10 days before Valentine’s
E) On the fifth one, say: “I want to do you proud on our special night… would you choose clothes for me that will compliment your outfit?” Send/deliver this 5 days before Valentine’s Day
3 days before Valentine’s Day, have some flowers delivered with a note reminding her of your Feb 14th, 7pm date.
The day of… A homemade card if you’re feeling crafty for the personal touch, or a store bought card with a list of things you love about her… This will warm her heart! Proof that you’ve been thinking about her! If you have trouble thinking of the words to write, imagine if she wasn’t in your life… What would you miss? Tell her!
Date Night Tips:
Make sure you’re ready on time, and can whisk her away.
If you can… When you pick her up for the date, let that be the first time you see each other that night. Don’t dissipate the tension by fighting for the bathroom sink together. Change at work or a friend’s house and pick her up like an old fashioned date!
A single rose or a small box of nice chocolate delivered with a sweet kiss can help her feel especially courted.
If this seems like a lot of work, REMEMBER:Most of this can be prepped and done in an hour or two. It will probably take you longer to drive to buy the Valentine’s Cards than to write everything out and make the phone calls! Is an hour or two worth the love and appreciation you’ll get over the next several weeks from a very happy and loved partner!?
If you want to upgrade your relationship, I have a bunch of geeky fun programs in my ReidAboutSex Sex Geek Boutique and my Relationship10x Program is packed full of gems like this article… with videos, audios and transcripts to help guide you to the love you’ve been craving.
Hope to see you there! xxREiD
P.S. The tips I’ve given you for Valentine’s Day work great for birthdays, anniversaries, and the like. Spending a little time creating romance is a smart investment that can pay off in unexpected and really delightful ways!
