Energetic Sex Rocks… How Do I Not Fall In Love?
Find out more with Reid Mihalko from http://www.ReidAboutSex.com and Cathy Vartuli from http://www.TheIntimacyDojo.com.
Cathy: Someone wrote in and said that “I’ve just discovered Energetic Sex, thanks very much Reid and I found that it’s just as intoxicating as penetration can be. How do I keep good boundaries in the casual sex protocol when I’m really getting drawn in by Energetic Sex I’m sharing with people?”
I’m here with Reid Mihalko from https://reidaboutsex.com/
Reid: I’m here with Cathy Vartuli from http://www.theintimacydojo.com/. Um, so are you following the casual sex protocols?
Cathy: Well, she…what she wrote was that she found that the energetic touch and sensation were so intoxicating that she was getting drawn in and…and feeling more feelings that she’d hope to feel. She was hoping to keep it casual.
Reid: Okay
Cathy: But that because the….the sensations and the…and the experience was so intense, it was harder to keep that casual.
Reid: Okay, um
Cathy: And she was asking for advice.
Reid: Alright. So for those people who haven’t checked out the casual sex protocols, go to www.ReidAboutSex.com/protocols and for those of you who are like “What’s energetic sex?” You can go to www.ReidAboutSex.com/energeticsex one word or hyphenated or energetic sex, one word or hyphenated all four of those should give you the same page if I’ve done my job right. Ecstatic experience which is really what we’re talking about where your brain dumps a ton of oxytocin and…
Cathy: The body chemicals
Reid: All kinds of good yummy stuff that’s like the “hah… ahh” and then when you blow people’s minds or they find something that’s totally their jam, then there’s all this like excitement and enthusiasm and like “Hahh!” And then
Cathy: I want to have it more, I want you more.
Reid: Yeah. And if you throw in a couple of people who’ve got like good you know like chemistry, good pheromones for your… for your brain too it can be like “Whoah! That’s a lot going on.” So, understanding how you imprint on people and how you label “crushes” so that you’re not tumbling head over heels in love, those things are some of the things that casual…that casual sex protocols start to deal with. In this situation, have less great energetic sex maybe like medio…maybe mediocrity is your answer.
Cathy: No, you are also finding great sex….great energetic sex with the number of people so your brain doesn’t insist you that like if the first time I’ve…I’ve shown people energetic sex, I’ve had that like “Wow, you’re amazing! No ones ever showed me that before.” And it’s like no there’s a lot of people out there that can do that it’s just that you have to be in the right crowd or the right knowledge based…but knowing that there’s other people that can give you those sensations might help.
Reid: Yeah. I would go through the actual protocols and then answer the questions for yourself, how do you navigate the protocols when it comes to energy or for anybody watching like really strong powerful experiences? When you start to map that out, there’s….I also do have a product for those of you who sign up for the protocols there’s a special on that page called identifying your weak spots, your protocol weak spots, casual sex weak spots, that might also help you start to look at like “Oh… where do I get wobbly?”
Cathy: Yeah.
Reid: The balance here is…is for you to start to figure out for yourself it’s gonna be different person by person, how can you have expansive ecstatic experiences and celebrate the experience and not feel like you’re merging or having to get married or have babies with these people you know the third time like you…. you don’t know if this person is a good person for you to date like if they’re your species or not, what you’re having is an ecstatic experience.
Cathy: Yeah
Reid: It would be like going to concert having somebody rock your world with their music and you’re like “I have to join your band. No, I mean I have to join your band. Your music changed me.” It’s just about being “Oh, wow that music changed me. This was amazing. How do I integrate that into my life?” And so looking at how imprinting in different ways, this is why I talked about crushes because when I start to fall in love with people, I can catch myself how I’m thinking about it and this person’s obviously
Cathy: Yeah
Reid: catching themselves having…
Cathy: Good job.
Reid: having FEELS in all caps. Not to carp…compartmentalize it in this kind of like love is bad, imprinting is bad, merging is bad but how can you put that into a container where it’s like “That was one of the best rock concerts I’ve ever been to. I’m so glad and cherished that I was there.”
Cathy: Yeah, without having to go on tour with them necessarily.
Reid: Yeah or just you know, wreak havoc emotionally on yourself. The air quotes “worst case” scenario is there’s somebody who imprints easily and powerfully or powerfully in these certain situations and you will have to be picky about whom you do that with because casual energy sex might….might, we don’t know yet, might not be possible for you and so that kind of exploration in the container of a committed relationship might be healthiest.
Cathy: Yeah… yeah and just be gentle with yourself, I think anytime any new intense experiences can you feel overwhelming. And I think that if you’re trying, sometimes when I’m trying to keep things casual I’ll beat myself up if I don’t feel that. It’s okay to crush sometimes.
Reid: Yeah
Cathy: We don’t always act on it.
Reid: Yeah. This isn’t like you’re more evolved if you can have you know slutty energetic sex and not you know imprint on people, this is more like “Oh!” like “Well how do I do… how do I enjoy and celebrate the pull and the draw… the drawing that I’m feeling?” Also, you know you might wanna check out the energy sex video because I talked about some drowning techniques and some decoupling techniques so for those of you who
Cathy: [Inaudible 00:06:38]
Reid: are mystical and woo-woo, a lot of people unintentionally merge like it’s like you have a glass of water and then you’re pouring watercolor into the water. You have this amazing colorful experience that changes the color of water; it’s really fucking hard to get the watercolor out
Cathy: Yeah
Reid: of the glass and get it back to clear again. So you may need to look at grounding and you know rituals around sovereignty and…and uncoupling, unmerging and figure out ways that work better for you around that and/or dive into energetic sex from different perspectives so that you’re not having to merge, you’re not doing the watercolor into the water, it’s more of a… “I’m gonna put a Hitachi magic wand against the glass and the water gonna change because there’s vibration moving through.” And again like if you’re not a mystic and you’re totally skeptic and everything I said was just bullshit out of my mouth and I understand because I’m a skeptic too. Think about these things as placebo effect because we know placebo it’s from my sciency folks, we know placebo effect is real, we know it’s measurable so all of my analogies can work for folks even if you don’t believe in this stuff because having a conversation about how we [Inaudible 00:08:07] our energies whether you believe it or not, still creates this awesome result psychologically.
Cathy: Yeah. We hope this helps. Good luck with that. It’s really fun when you discover a new aspect in yourself to explore.
Reid: Go get them.