Do you wish your life was more exciting? More fulfilling? That you felt more attractive, more charismatic, and were surrounded by people and activities that nourished you?
You can have/be all of those things, and they’re more achievable than you think, but to pull it off, it’s important to understand what makes people unattractive in the first place.
I recently created a powerful new concept in one of those light-bulb, a-ha moments you sometimes get blessed with. I was teaching one of my weekend-long seminars when this a-ha moment came through, and it helped me make sense of -and be able to powerfully teach- what it is that creates attraction, charisma, and powerful happiness.
And in that light-bulb moment, I also realized a simple explanation for how some people get the attractiveness sucked out of them.
I’m not talking about “ugly” versus “pretty,” or what you weigh, your height, or your age. I’m not even talking about “extroverted” versus “introverted.” I’m talking about aliveness.
And, more specifically, in this article (Part 1 of a 2 parter, fyi), I’m talking about how 3 simple bad habits inevitably lead to living a life filled with “less aliveness.” Yep, this is about how we get the life sucked out of us and how that making us less attractive.
In Part 2 of this article, I’ll reveal how you can access a more “alive life” by following my simple a-ha recipe that’ll allow you to start powerfully tapping into your charisma and happiness, and how this approach can make your life look very different in just a few months.
To avoid angry comments accusing me of withholding the secret, life-changing recipe, here it is in one sentence…
If you want to attract more exciting people in your life, if you want to be more charismatic, happy, and attractive: Create your own Thrilling Life by Doing Things That Thrill You.
I know. Deceptively simple, but not necessarily easy to actualize. Why? Because SO many of us have trained ourselves to deny our thrills in service of diving deeper into our drudgery. (Actually, I blame Culture, which I’ll explain about below…) What’s worse, most people have surrounded themselves with folks who’re also committed to lives of quiet desperation. The result: their entire world is filled with inescapable drudgery everywhere they look. And, as I’m sure many of you have experienced, some of people are cursed by being surrounded by folks living lives of loud, constantly complaining desperation!
The Opposite of Drudgery Is Not Necessarily The Drama of Rebellion
For the inexperienced novice, the obvious solution to escaping drudgery is knee-jerk, reactive, irresponsible rebellion. Just stop doing whatever isn’t fun and life becomes more fun, right? Avoid the unattractive things in your world and you’ll automatically become more attractive, yes?
The way to escape drudgery is not by ceasing to do the things that inconvenience you. You don’t get to be irresponsible AND live a deeply fulfilling, attractive, alive life. Skipping paying the bills, not changing the baby’s diapers, or never taking out the trash is NOT how you make your life more thrilling and put that alluring twinkle in your eyes. Some people mistake the drama of being irresponsible for the sweet excitement of freedom, but this is not the thrilling of which I speak.
Filling up the gas tank and checking the air pressure in the tires of your friend’s car could seem uninspiring; however, if you’re road tripping to an exciting destination to learn something that you’re geekily passionate about… Tending to the car becomes the necessary, mundane task that’s transforms itself into the foreplay of an important journey!
Culture Teaches Us To Become Experts In Bad Habits
If it’s possible to turn the mundane into the arousing, why aren’t we all doing it? Some bad habits die hard, and the bad habits people learn from Culture die the hardest. But it is possible to slay them and replace them with new, empowering habits!
When you understand that Culture has trained us all to be experts in our own “un-aliveness,” and you start implementing the 5 simple steps to undo Culture’s bad habits, YOU can create a life that feels like foreplay, increases your aliveness, and has people treating you more positively because you’re naturally more charismatic and attractive.
A) tolerating things we don’t want,
B) staying silent rather than speaking up, and
C) denying our own wants, needs, and desires so we’re not a “burden” on others.
We’re taught that love is about self-sacrifice and martyrdom rather than self-actualization, interdependence, and pleasure. We’re taught the more you care about people, the more you’ll forego taking care of yourself.
I’m not talking about a parent sacrificing their sleep to care for a newborn infant, nor am I speaking about tolerating the stress and struggle of having to care for a loved one who’s fallen ill… Those fall under responsibilities of life, and sometimes life actually is a struggle. However, there’s a difference between a natural struggle and an unnatural strangulation. Becoming an expert in one’s own self-un-care and using that as a measure of a job well done… That’s strangulation caused by misguided beliefs and bad habits.
These bad habits, practiced over the course of a lifetime, strip us of our natural-born charisma, our zeal and zest for life. We become exhausted and depleted physically, emotionally, and spiritually. We also loose our ability to believe that it’s possible to take empowered action and change our “fate.” We become resigned, and that resignation locks the downward spiral into place, further weighing us down and reinforcing the feelings of helplessness and defeat. From that place, it’s impossible to feel attractive, and we begin to source our self-esteem, hope, and self-worth from others. If they happen to be suffering a similar fate, things can worsen quickly as everyone involved accelerates the collective downward spiral.
Collective downward spirals where escape feels impossible become breeding grounds for anger, violence, and other forms of toxic behavior and traumatic experience. Bad habits multiply. Thriving becomes a distant memory as everything gets focused on simply surviving.
Maybe you grew up in a home or community personally witnessing this destructive dynamic in action. The good news: You’re not destined to have to repeat your past and in Part 2 of this 2 part article series, I’ll reveal my 5 simple steps YOU can implement to make you and your life (in and out of the bedroom, btw) more attractive and thrilling!
If you’re reading this thinking it’s impossible for you to become more charismatic, that’s just a life time of Culture’s bad habits talking to you, and it will be my great pleasure and honor to show you a way to change those misguided beliefs in the Part 2.
What Ideas/Insights Did These Ideas Spark In You?
I invite you to share your ideas in the comment sections below! I love reading what you’re thinking and I want to respond.
Join me in the next article where I show you how to access living a thrilling life and become more charismatic and attractive!
Sex geekily yours,
P.S. The weekend seminar I mentioned above where I had the “a-ha” moment that inspired this 2 part article… If you would like to actually watch me teach that piece while having the “a-ha” moment, the entire weekend seminar was captured on video and is available for you. Check out my silly reminder video (just 1 minute and 42 seconds long) on how YOU can access the entire Relationship10x LIVE video vault!