Is there a difference between disappointment and rejection? And how do you handle them?
With Reid Mihalko from ReidAboutSex.com and Cathy Vartuli from TheIntimacyDojo.com.
Cathy: What is the difference between disappointment and rejection? Knowing that difference can make your life a lot easier, and we’ll be going into that in just a minute. This is Reid Mihalko…
Reid: From ReidAboutSex.com, and this is Cathy Vartuli…
Cathy: From TheIntimacyDojo.com. Reid, what is the difference between rejection and disappointment?
Reid: I don’t know. Why do you always ask me the hard questions? I’m supposed to know these things? It’s crazy.
Cathy: Well if you don’t know them, then people might reject you.
Reid: That would be disappointing. Oh, we’re good! The difference between … well I mean for me, rejection is somebody says no to you, and you attach a whole feeling to it. You make it mean something about you, you’ve been rejected, not like being rejected in basketball, like something about you wasn’t, didn’t meet up the standards and you die. It feels like you’re dying.
Cathy: It triggers the primitive brain which wants to belong, and feel part of and worthy.
Reid: And disappointment is people, when people say no, or you don’t get to have something that you want, you’re just disappointed. Like “Oh, I don’t get to have that.”
Cathy: Right.
Reid: It means nothing to your well-being or who you are as a human being, or you’re not going to die because of it.
Cathy: Yes. It doesn’t affect your self-worth on a fundamental level.
Reid: Mm-hmm (affirmative) and the self-worth is coming from you. You’re the one who’s making it mean something that it probably doesn’t mean. We as adults, like we say in Cuddle Party, you know, the little kid who’s on the tricycle who’s going around the playground inviting everybody to ride in the back of the tricycle, everyone says no to that kid, but the kid just keeps running around and inviting people, because the kid’s having a blast. They’re not making it mean something about themselves to an extent that they’re not really even disappointed.
Cathy: That is possible about many things, but rejection can hit very hard. If you feel that hurt on that deeper level, get some support and learn to detangle your self-worth from other people saying yes to you. That will give you a lot more freedom and ease as you move forward.
Reid: Reject rejection. That’s what you need to do.
Cathy: If you come back, we’ll be doing a video on how to handle disappointment a little bit more. In the meantime, leave a comment below and tell us about your definition, how you define the difference between rejection and disappointment, and like our channel, subscribe. We’d love you to keep coming back.
Reid: Yes. As we broadcast live, or, it was live, from some hotel room.
Cathy: In Durango.
Reid: In Durango, Colorado.
Cathy: Bye.