How do you control for new?
That’s a phrase someone I admire talks about a lot.* The human brain generates dopamine when we have new experiences. Change keeps things fresh!
Does this mean that to keep things juicy you have to dump your friends and partners and start over? Does it mean you have to quit your job and find a new one? No. Your relationships and jobs are safe (Unless you’ve been holding back on having a serious conversation with your boss or a loved one – and even then, having the conversation doesn’t automatically equal cutting and running – more on that in a future email).
What controlling for new means is that re-evaluating and upgrading periodically with new and different things -or just trying something new just because– is part of what keep things interesting. It helps you feel engaged, and lets you tap into and bring out your best stuff.
It means not going to the same restaurant all the time… It means sometimes taking a vacation to somewhere new. Maybe, it means tackling something on your bucket list that’s been there forever because checking off that box and NOT having it on your list is what’s new. And, a personal favorite of mine: trying something that scares you and helps you grow.
Sometimes sitting down and discussing your needs, goals, and aspirations can make a big difference. Doing so can clear out some of the “usual” noise in your life, and help you tune in to what you want to create next.
Remember, routines -especially unconscious routines- are a hairs-breath away from being the ruts that we get stuck in.
I spent the weekend doing this: Looking at my business, my relationships, and my life, and getting clarity on where I want to go and how I want to serve myself and YOU.
Hispanic couple smiling at each other
I looked at how I want to help you create magnificent relationships and have awe-inspiring sex. I want us to be the ones other people listen to with baited breath. I want you and I to smile, decades from now, as we think back on the adventures and escapades we each had… The pleasure you create and the intimacy you share this year, next year, and the years to come… I want you to be able to look back and be inspired by yourself.
And then, however old/young you are… I want you dream up the next great adventure of your life and go curl someone’s toes!
Because of all the self-reflecting and planning I did this past weekend, I wanted to give you a heads up… Because of the focus and the deep digging, I’m creating some really kick-ass and inspirational programs and events in the next 15 months… In recalibrating for all this, I’ll be retiring some of my old programs from my ReidAboutSex Store (they still rock, but I’ll be taking some of them down because I want your focus to be laser sharp when you go to my store).
How are you going to keep things juicy in your connections?
xxREiD
* Brendon Burchard talks about Controlling For New in many his programs and books.