STI And STD Testing | Facebook Walk With Reid
Reid: Hello sex geeks. This is Reid Mihalko from https://reidaboutsex.com/ and I am broadcasting live from my friend’s hot tub in Encinitas and as you’re saying hello and logging on, where are you logging in from? It is I’m en route to Intimacy Fest, Dave Booda’s intimacy fest. Whoo, that’s a good angle right there and as you can see I’m in a hot tub and I’m gonna try not to share my naked bits.
And I’m gonna to talk today about STI testing and STI STD sexually transmitted diseases or sexually transmitted infections. STI is kind of more used these days and I’m old enough to be back in the day when we used STD’s. So whatever works best for you use those terms. And I’m gonna preface this by saying I am not a nurse or a doctor, I am not a medical practitioner nor do I play one on the internet and this is all my advice as a sex geek and as a nerd about STI’s and STDs. And there’s a lot of people have a lot of feelings and opinions about STI’s and STDs and so I’m always always always going to tell you go do your own research and talk to medical practitioners and professionals if you have friends who are doctors especially like we’re nurses likes like especially like kinky nurses and kinky doctors. And, and you know sex geek nurses and sex geek doctors they’re out there they’re in the communities. Also, be kind to them just because they are a medical practitioner or an EMT or you know a research scientist working in the medical field does not mean they owe you advice. So don’t just because somebody’s a doctor in that cliché kind of way where everyone’s like, “Well hey, you know it hurts when I touch such-and-such or or you know when I’m peeing it’s this and that.” realize this is, this is these people’s professions so be kind be generous ask them to be consensual, ask them if they have bandwidth to give you some advice or give you share their thoughts. You know, it’s like people who are in the medical professions who are in the sex geek communities get hit up all the time and sometimes they’re at a cocktail party or a poly munch or a kink. You know brunch or something like that just to hang out and not be a doctor. So be kind to your medical friends because they are awesome and do not you know, reward them ask permission and then you know buy them a drink or take them up at dinner or ask them what they need. They don’t owe you anything and so that’s my preface. These are my opinions and do with them what you will please leave your comments. I will try to answer as many comments as I can.
And I’m heading off to intimacy fest where I’m gonna be teaching and of course my battery tells me now that it’s low. Oh man, time for new phone, that being said. The basic when’s and why’s and when not to use, to answer the when not to get tested, never, always get tested. It is my big belief as a sex married, an educator and also as somebody who’s really promiscuous and has a lot of sex with folks, that you should get tested at least, at least twice a year. Most people will say once a year but as an educator, I say twice a year because you need to get in the practice like if you just get tested once a year. You kind of forget it does not really habit and then you only talk to your lover’s or your friends or your partner’s or whatever once a year about your status. I think you should get tested twice a year because then it’s more of a habit and it’s bit like the emotional muscles that you’re exercising about getting tested if you’re really scared or nervous about getting tested. Once a year doesn’t really build or exercise that like getting tested on a regular basis muscle if you’re super slutty or if you’re starting a new relationship and you’re gonna be having sex especially if you’re gonna be having unprotected sex you’re gonna you know if you’re getting fluid bonded kind of situations. If you don’t know what fluid bonded is, then you can you can Google that and do some research and practice your research muscles. But I think it’s really useful to get tested together especially when you’re starting a new relationship and if you’re super slutty like I am, I try to get tested every 3-4 months because it’s just really useful when you sleep with a lot of people and you sleep and play with a lot of people who play with a lot of people. If you’re all getting tested semi-regularly several times a year and you’re all sharing what your status is with each other then it’s kind of like the community lingo if somebody tests positive for something then all the merits can go and get tested or go get treatment if somebody that we’re all sleeping what gets test is positive for chlamydia or something like that. So when everybody’s getting tested several times a year and everybody’s talking about it, it just helps the community of people who sleep with a lot of people know if some things happened and again like this is all predicated on the idea that you know STI’s and STDs happen sometimes like it’s you’re not a bad person if you get something but you’re not a bad person if you expose somebody to something. You’re only a bad person if you know you’re positive for something and you don’t tell anybody or you know you’re positive for something and you’re not using proper protocols to help protect or you know minimize harm using harm reduction and you know, risk reduction protocols. Like then if you know you have something in your exposing people unduly to, to risks and you’re not helping them know what they’re getting into so that they can have informed choice then you’re, you’re just a douche bag and that’s not cool. And we all understand, I understand that people get scared and they get ashamed and they, they have fear and they don’t always speak up in the moments but hang out with people who have those emotional tools so that we can all support each other and getting better at that.
I used to be get weird about having herpes one and then I did all I did the research for myself talked to a lot of people about the risks of herpes and then I made my emotional peace with something that’s heavily stigmatized in the world. And now it’s really easy for me to share with everybody but I have herpes one and you know for me I’ve never had an outbreak that I know of and so I don’t know where it’s located and if that’s gonna freak you out to play with somebody who has herpes then please don’t play with me because I will freak you out. And over the years like now that’s really easy for me to share and I understand when it’s a bigger emotional deal for somebody else or how I understand how herpes can be a huge pain for folks who have, who have immune system compromised situations like Crohn’s disease or Lyme’s disease or HIV, so I, I get it.
And when we all know what, what’s happening and we all have informed choice which means we’ve all talked about it and done the research and we’re not just living by you know, cultures advice which is just that sex is bad. When we have a more informed choice in an emotional bandwidth you know okay you, you have such and such well I know how to protect myself or to reduce harm or what other options, what other crayons we have in the crayon box of being able to play. So if you have then you know an active herpes outbreak and there’s all these other things that we can do rather than then make out because you have a cold sore something like that. If your each HID positive then I, you know I can have a conversation with you and we can figure out all these other things that we can do that meet my relationship agreements and in harm reduc, harm reduction and risk reduction approaches, I can spank you, I can do you know, there’s all these other crayons that no one ever gets to because we’re so paralyzed by fear.
So my battery is getting really low so let’s, we talked about a couple other things. Do you research the in the US the CDC website Centers for Disease Control has a lot of good information. Geek out with and do your research but also be, be wary of you know click bait type research around STI’s and STD’s. I’m very much a research-based person. I have a lot of friends who are very lulu about things. But you know wearing a condom, getting tested regularly, hanging out with people who will share their statuses if they test positive for something, having your safer sex elevator speech all the time with people and what especially wearing condoms. Those are the real basic things that you can do to make the sex that you have so much healthier and to be practicing and exercising your emotional IQ muscles and you say for sex practices so that they just over time they become more and more and more and more and more natural.
When you ask to get tested please ask what you’re getting tested for when people say they got tested for everything it’s almost always not everything. If you’re getting tested for free at a clinic they usually won’t test for herpes because that’s a very expensive test and herpes basically isn’t life-threatening. Things like chlamydia, gonorrhea, syphilis, HIV those things fuck you up when you don’t have them or when you have them and don’t know you have them. So a lot of people have tested positive for stuff but they’re asymptomatic so they don’t know they have it so this is another reason to get tested regularly and to disclose with people where it’s appropriate which means people that you’ll be you know possibly exposing them to things that you might have this is why you, you just close your status.
And again if you scare somebody away because you have something or you’re even having an adult conversation about safer sex needs and…and statuses, you scare them away and you ruin the moment, it is my belief that you were not supposed to have that moment anyway and you probably saved yourself some emotional headache down the road rather than trying to have sex with somebody who’s not clearly not ready to have an adult conversation. Don’t shame people because they have feelings about things. We’re all on our journeys so be kind to people even when they’re not emotionally ready to have an adult conversation but those are great assessment tools or whom you might want to consider playing with erratically or not.
Alright, my battery’s about to die so I’m gonna leave it here. Leave your comments. Thank you so much. Share this video with whoever put it in a share it in the group and whatnot and I’ll look at the comments a little bit. Bye from the hot tubs and the beautiful scenery and I’ll see everybody who’s gonna be an Intimacy Fest in a couple hours. Bye, everyone. Go get tested.