How do you know if your partner had orgasm? We all have faked orgasm before, it’s true, we do sometimes. What you want to start doing is start talking to each other about the kind of sex that you like. What gets you off, what doesn’t get you off, when you’re not having the sex.
Join relationship expert Reid Mihalko from ReidAboutSex.com and Cathy Vartuli from TheIntimacyDojo.com and find out more about how to know if your partner is faking it.
Cathy: We had someone write in, we talked about how to know if someone … If the partner had orgasm.
Reid: You’re watching the wrong video, you’re watching the wrong one, go back. Now we have their attention.
Cathy: Yes, if they haven’t clicked off.
Reid: No.
Cathy: Someone wrote in, and said how do you know … The other side of that question is how to know if she’s faking it.
Reid: Faking what?
Cathy: An orgasm.
Reid: This is your last warning, if you keep listening…
Cathy: This is Reid Mihalko from ReidAboutSex.com
Reid: Cathy Vartuli from the TheIntimacyDojo.com. Last chance. Okay, how do you know if they’re faking. First off … I don’t want to answer this question.
Cathy: You have to.
Reid: You’ll never know, not really. You have to trust people, okay. I have faked orgasm before, it’s true, we do sometimes. Okay, men as well what you want to start doing and this is radical advice is start talking to each other about the kind of sex that you like. What gets you off, what doesn’t get you off, when you’re not having the sex, admittedly scary conversations for adults, even to be having.
Then, when you’re having sex, or plan a date night, to be research and develop night, you guys can learn each others bodies, things that you like, things that you don’t like. It doesn’t have to be about the orgasm, because it’s research and developed night, remove the goals and share with each other your best tips about your own body. That you guys know how to create and generate a lot of pressure for each other.
That it’s insert, well lying, it’s okay to talk about this stuff in bed. When you’re having the sex, and climax is what you’d like to achieve because don’t always make sex about the orgasm, don’t be climax centric for everything. Sometimes having really hot sex and neither one of you cumming is really hot for the next time you have sex. Play with all these dynamics, and then just be willing to talk with each other and be like, “You know what I don’t feel like I’m going to cum right now. I’m getting in my head, let’s just do something else.”
You don’t have to ever fake, the orgasm. You can simply just not have an orgasm and everything is still okay.
Cathy: Right, and when there’s a lot of pressure, and there’s a lot of focus on orgasm, I think that’s when I felt the most like, “Oh my God if I can’t orgasm they’re going to feel like I didn’t do the job, like that’s when it get more in my head about it.” If you can take some of the pressure of that, and just enjoy the response that you’re partner is giving, and what you’re receiving from that.
That can help people feel safe, being where they are, and you may even want to practice. Like you said it is really hot, okay neither or us are going to orgasm right now, we’re just going to enjoy touching each other. You’re right you can’t tell if someone fakes it.
Reid: I’m faking it right now.
Cathy: Please leave your comments below, be gentle.