Transition is challenging in business. When you’re rebranding, finding new peers, new clients, how do you take care of yourself?
With Reid Mihalko from ReidAboutSex.com and Cathy Vartuli from TheIntimacyDojo.com.
Reid: Oh, my goodness. We’ve got some amazing questions that people write in and we’ve a really dense one, so I’m just going to set this up. My name is Reid Mihalko from ReidAboutSex.com. I’m the creator of Sex Geek Summer Camp. When the Sex Geek Summer Camp is being worn that means we’re talking about the business of being a sex educator, and this is the amazing Cathy Vartuli of TheIntimacyDojo.com. One of the questions that we had was really about this person who was, and you know who you are, who was studying all these different modalities around sex education-
Cathy: Really doing a great job of learning a lot.
Reid: Yeah, learning a lot, and then realizing that their actual business and brand is more about just dealing with and removing shame, in a more artistic, performance-oriented way. Their question was this dilemma of not really knowing what their brand is right now, and not having any clients, and then because they don’t have any clients, not having any income, and what’s the advice to drill in and figure this stuff out, and get their business jump-started?
Cathy: And not having any specific peers because they’re not really in a specific niche.
Reid: Yeah, they’re not a sex educator and at the same time maybe hanging out with a bunch of dancers isn’t going to work either. Everyone, just take a deep breath and go, “Oooooh.” This kind of period of transition is where it’s like you’re basically redefining everything, and everything’s up in the air and it just feels horrible, and feels uncertain, and like you don’t know what to do. When I’m in these situations I go meta. What I mean by meta is, if we pull the camera back you would notice there’s a whole bunch of other things in this room that are going on.
It’s not happening here, but if it was a film set there would be like the dude or the dudette who is holding the microphone, and then there’s the makeup person over in the corner, and then there’s a director sitting over there, so there’s more going on than meets the eye. When you are an educator and somebody who helps other people through transitions or learning curves, the learning curve you are in personally is something you can help Sherpa people through for themselves.
Cathy: Yeah. It’s a great time to notice what you’re feeling, and thinking, and believing, because writing that down and using those words, you’re in your client’s head. They’re going to see your writing and go, “That person knows me. They’re writing for me.”
Reid: You can’t necessarily monetize it or build a brand around it, but understand that the journey that you are having right now may be useful for your clients, so pay attention to what you’re going through. For this particular person who feels like they’re turning into this performance-artsy version of a vulnerability coach, and about just removing shame, period; get really in touch with your own shame and what you’re feeling, and how you’re dealing with being in this state of transition. Because it sounds like, if you were to become a vulnerability coach, one of those areas of specialty that you might have is the vulnerability of being with transition, whether it’s transitioning out of a relationship, and then all of a sudden you can help all these artists with their breakups and the shame of having, or grief of having a relationship fail.
They also mentioned in their question that they just went through a relationship ending poorly. I know a lot of artists who happen to date and have relationships and then have them fall apart. Then, of course, if you’re working with artists who are literally going through their own rebranding. Maybe they were a painter, or a dancer, and now they’re moving into-
Cathy: Yeah, they’re changing their style, or their group, or they’re going to the next level of depth of vulnerability.
Reid: A band had a breakup and now they’re changing bands, or they were a painter and now they’re moving into electronic music, or something. I would start just looking for clues, and what we teach at Sex Geek Summer Camp, and also in Sex Geek School for Gifted Sex Geeks, who are the people that you’re most passionate about helping. What are the problems of theirs that you’re most passionate in solving? What are the problems they actually have that they need solved? What are your learning and teaching styles that come easiest to you? Figuring out those things are some of the beginning things that we cover in camp and in SG3, and then you start pouring into what you’re going through personally, and you might start to see your brand evolving out of that.
Cathy: Reid teaches it so well that he really [inaudible 00:05:17] people into their core of who they are, and it’s just beautiful to watch people’s faces light up. What they start realizing, they’re not just doing stuff because they should and this is what someone told them to do, but it’s a natural self-expression of who they are. It’s hard to hold them back after that, even if you wanted to.
Reid: Yeah, and also for the person who wrote in, who learned all these modalities and now it feels like they’re useless to them. I was a comic-book artist and an actor and a film producer, all before, and a bartender and a martial arts instructor, all before sex education. All those things have given me tools and strengths that I use now on sex education, so don’t be surprised. You might not believe in this kind of thing but your life may be preparing you for the business, or the brand, or the work that you’re about to be doing.
Cathy: Just the right experiences and perspectives coming through.
Reid: Yeah, and even if you don’t believe it … I think it’s kind of, “Why not believe it?” Because it makes the world a better place and it makes you feel like you didn’t just waste your entire life. Leave your comments below! SexGeekSummerCamp.com for free videos. Bye.