What gets you aroused? What makes you turned on?
Tips and ideas from Reid Mihalko from ReidAboutSex.com and Cathy Vartuli from TheIntimacyDojo.com.
Cathy: What gets you aroused? What experiences and activities and people get you aroused? This is Reid Mihalko from ReidAboutSex.com.
Reid: This is Cathy Vartuli from TheIntimacyDojo.com.
Cathy: She’s a little bit scared.
Reid: And I’m a little bit aroused. Oh, yeah, baby. Does fear turn you on?
Cathy: Not really.
Reid: How about british accents?
Cathy: Yes, actually.
Reid: Excellent.
So what does arousal, getting turned on, being horny. This is a rat’s nest of all kinds of cultural things, all crammed into one thing, and no one really talks about it. Your mom and dad probably didn’t sit you down and be like, “Honey, this is how your father and I or your mother and I or whomever and I navigate the difference between being horny and being aroused, and this is what we do when we’re not feeling aroused, but we want to be aroused.”
No one talks about this stuff, so most people arrive at adulthood feeling somewhat powerless about this.
Cathy: It feels like if you’re not aware of what helps you feel, what creates that for you, it’s kind of a whim and you don’t know when you’re going to be hit by it. There’s no consciousness around it.
Reid: And there are just times when you just get turned on for, you can’t figure out what the reason is.
Cathy: Yeah.
Reid: And then that can be confusing, and then that can be super confusing when we’re younger because we don’t know what our bodies are doing, or we just get aroused because we’re around a bunch of people who, and we’re all a little horny schmonkeys with shoes on. It’s like we don’t empower people on how to navigate this.
Cathy: Yes.
Reid: It can seem very overwhelming and confusing all at the same time.
The big things are start thinking about what turns you on in your head and then what turns you on in your body.
Cathy: Yes.
Reid: So for me those are the differences between eroticism-
Cathy: In your head.
Reid: -and what gets your brain horny-
Cathy: It may be things you never want to act out.
Reid: Yeah, and that’s a whole list of things. And the idea of the sensual side of things, like what kinds of sensations or activities get you aroused and excited and then the other thing that you could also try to…you could consider is there are just the hormones and the biology and the chemistry of arousal. For some people, certain times of the months, they’re way more horny than not. For other people just the smell of somebody gets them aroused, more of a pheromone thing. When you can start looking at this and also not make being aroused or excited bad-
Cathy: Yes, but we also tend to take it in our society as a sign that we’re in love with a person. Being aroused, it might be pheromones. Once we understand what it is that gets us aroused, we have control. We can be attracted or aroused by somebody, and that doesn’t mean they’re a good fit for a relationship.
Reid: Yeah, so the people that get you super horny, whether it’s in your brain or in your body, that doesn’t mean that you should be dating them. It also doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t be dating them. That’s a whole other conversation about are we a good fit for an actual relationship or should be just sniff each other’s armpits and get horny?
There you have it. What do you think about that?
Cathy: Please let us know.
Reid: If you like our videos, please subscribe.
Cathy: Yes.
Reid: Bye.
Cathy: Bye.