What Gets You In the Mood to be Creative At Sex?
Reid: Hello sex geek! This is Reid Mihalko from https://reidaboutsex.com/ and today I have a guest starring walk with Allison Moon
Allison: Hello.
Reid: Of http://girlsex101.com/ and as you are hearing us let us know that you can hear us and tell us where you’re….you’re hearing us from? Where are you listening in from or viewing in from because it’s kind of cool. Because you were present, we’ve got some viewers happening here it’s a little windy today and so will be shouting at the camera so you could hear us on our little walk. And today Allison and I will be talking about unenthusiasm word and how kind of being creatively or unexcitedly bereft and how that can applied to on Allison’s dates we’re talking about creative process where people sort things like that. But then we can apply that to sex like what do you do when you, yourself or your partner are feeling uncreative and kind of unenthusiastic about sex? So, good morning Allison.
Allison: Good morning Reid.
Reid: or good afternoon or good evening depending on where you’re listening or viewing from. What a, what do you have to say about unenthusiasticness?
Allison: Well, so yes a bit lately I’ve been feeling a little bit lacking in need to do to get creative works done and I feel like sometimes like let’s say I’m hangover works like you create something really big and then you’re kind of falling. But I think where I’m at right now is finding out a New projects and not really feeling the things that I wanted to create one. So I think, I mean in some ways or forms of depression I would call
Reid: I’m bringing us close because
Allison: Okay.
Reid: people say it’s windy.
Allison: Yes. Yeah it’s very windy.
Allison: I think it’s a form of depression although I don’t think it’s you know pure depression, I wouldn’t suggest that being a diagnosis but I think it’s very common for people to have ebbs and flows of enthusiasm for all sorts of things including your partner. I think the analogy I’ve been thinking of is, it feels very much like I have some projects, I have up project that is my partner the project that makes me money and bring….brings me kind of a certain amount of stability and I’ve been cheating on a little while with a bunch of other projects that actually makes me excited.
Reid: You’ve been cheating on me?
Allison: No.
Reid: Oh.
Allison: Projects.
Reid: On projects okay.
Allison: But I think it’s…it’s a similar feeling or it’s like “gosh, I’m….I’m so excited for this other thing but I really should be bring all this enthusiasm energy to my beloved and I think that that’s what I’ve been feeling with creative stuff. Like I have this one book I should be writing. I’m way more excited about with [Inaudible 00:02:48-50] instead. So my solution, I think there’s a certain power in reading and bearing it to a certain degree and actually just putting in the hours and I think this happens a lot with partnership or just like one of you might not be down to sex but the other one it is. There’s a certain amount of taking it for team. I don’t mean that term like you’re putting yourself in abusive situation like there is just like you know what I’m prepared to is to start of our partnership. So I’m willing to feel like I’m not really in the mood but let’s figure out something that could be work for me and you.
Reid: And it’s that kind like with writing like you’re not in the mood to write but
Allison: Oh yeah.
Reid: you sit down and you show up
Allison: Yeah you sit down and you put your butt in the seat and you make it happen. And it doesn’t feel like flow, it doesn’t feel like art and it doesn’t feel like grace it feels like work but that’s okay because like it, relationships are sometimes work. So who is the creative for us is, Hello
Reid: Hi everybody! [Inaudible 00: 03:50] She’s walking by the little dog, she’s very excited both of them
Allison: So, yeah. I think there’s a certain amount of honor and just showing up putting it in time, committing into it even if it doesn’t feel like joyous or fun. That’s my answer.
Reid: Well, so my….my addition to the…..these ideas right and it is just ideas we’re just having a conversation while going for our walk. These ideas of how do you get in the mood when like, what do you know about your own sexuality in this case, right? Or creative process like what gets you in the mood to be creative, to be sexual or to you know to be able to….it’s almost like going to the gym like when you don’t want to go the gym but you know if you get there and you get to that first twenty minutes on the treadmill or the first twenty minutes at yoga class so whatever then you’re like usually your mood changes and then you know by the end of class you’re like you’re much, you’re much in better place.
Allison: I think there’s also a lot to be said for just the myths that we have about creative inspiration and also lust for your partner like I think this notion that like you always have to be inspired to…to create art is bullshit. You just have to show up and do it and the myth that you always have to be like raging sixteen year old boner for your partner is also a myth like there’s just a lot of power and oh!
Reid: And dogs scaring a little bit. Ouch! You almost saw me jump America.
Allison: [Inaudible 00: 05:28] Yeah. There’s also and again like you’re not always going to be crazy and lusty about your partner. There’s just a lot of power saying like, “hey, sex is something we should do right now or intimacy is something we should do right now.” Even if none of us is in the mood will be better twenty minutes into it having done it.
Reid: Yeah. I think too like creative process, I know for me when I’m working and I feel like I’m dipping like me going and going for a walk like lot of the times when I’m doing these videos is because I’m…I’m in a lull with what I’m doing work wise so getting outside, you know maybe having a conversation with your loved one or yourself if you’re solo because none of this is dependent upon you know you having to have a partner who’s around or even a partner period like you can do your own kind of solo practice and figure out what you need to be able to get yourself in a you know in a sexually creative or sensually creative mood. So
Allison: Basic thing you make it
Reid: Well I think there’s….there’s faking it like mindfully faking it
Allison: Yeah.
Reid: not like just like I’m…I’m lying to myself about us.
Allison: I mean one of the things that I think is really useful as a writer is like I’ll just open a blank document and I’ll just start typing nonsense like just bullshit to consciousness whatever I had for lunch that day, anything because it’s just a mechanical process of getting the gears and riding it in your place where then it’ll start and then the momentum will take over.
Reid: Yeah. Yeah and it’s also like what what’s Sarah just commented on, it’s like how do you make it not to feel like pressure?
Allison: So, you’re partnering it to yourself?
Reid: Well to….to either either….either like other person like, how do you make how do you make work feel like fun?
Allison: Hahaha.
Reid: And you know how do you understand that it’s important to do this kind of work? So that you can motivate yourself and understand that you’re going to have bad days and I’m sorry it’s so windy folks
Allison: Yeah.
Reid: we can’t control the weather. But a
Allison: Not yet
Reid: Not yet.
Allison: I’m working on it.
Reid: Yeah. So what do you think? What are some of the comments you want to leave and thoughts? And what do you know about your own experience? Creative or you have sexually creative that like you do for yourself that get you into more quote and unquote productive moods because you’re sharing these comments, can help somebody else have an “Aha” moments about themselves. Any else you want to say?
Allison: Nope.
Reid: Alright. I think we might we might I think we might end this this broadcast because it’s so windy but thanks for going on our little our little walk today because we have a lens flare in the background
Allison: It’s so artistically Michael Bay baby
Reid: That’s right. I am Michael Bay at Michael Bay Facebook live ladies and gentlemen. And I’m and I’m your Michael Bay on the bedroom.
Allison: Eww.
Reid: Yee. What? That was good.
Allison: Blow up my crotch baby.
Reid: Boom! Alright, leave some emoticons. Share this video. I hope you’re having a great weekend or day whenever you watch this in the future. Thanks for everybody for being a part of this and hopefully it can create some….some motivation for yourself today and I’ll check out the comments when we get back inside. Bye!
Allison: Mwah! Bye!