Ever wonder about female ejaculation? Does it exists? Does it feel good? What if you can’t?
Join Reid Mihalko from ReidAboutSex.com and Cathy Vartuli from TheIntimacyDojo.com as they share ideas and insights from the beach (recorded from Fort Lauderdale Beach, our apologize for the wind noise on the recording).
Cathy: Welcome everyone. I’m Cathy Vartuli from TheIntimacyDojo.com.
Reid: And I’m Keanu Reeves from Point Break. Reid Mahalko from ReidAboutSex.com
Cathy: We are here bringing you information from the beach.
Reid: I’m just going to do Point Break quotes. “You’re going down Bodhi! People trusted you and they died.”
Cathy: OK, but that has nothing to do with our topic.
Reid: No, but what are we talking about?
Cathy: We’re talking about female ejaculation.
Reid: Oh my god, totally like Point Break! You missed a 2000 year storm, Bodhi… 200 year storm, sorry for Point Break fans.
Cathy: Yeah, you’re going to get…
Reid: Man, you can leave bad comments about that.
Cathy: Yes. So, when I first heard about female ejaculation 1. My GYN told me it didn’t exist and I was also… I thought, “Oh, why would anyone want to do that? That’s really messy.”
Reid: Just for our male listeners, what is GYN stand for?
Cathy: Gynecologist.
Reid: Go ahead and find out terms.
Cathy: So I really wasn’t interested at all, and then I started hearing people share about how amazing it felt. So, I actually had someone help me do it… Ejaculate. And it was amazing!
Reid: And how did that happen? Because we have… The fear is it’s pee.
Cathy: Right.
Reid: That it’s coming from your bladder. What was your experience when you had to ejaculate?
Cathy: Well first, I went to the bathroom right before. I made sure my bladder was empty because that gave me a little more ease there. And, it was with someone I really trusted and someone who knew my body pretty well. So, the G-spot stimulation really helped with that. For me it was a forward motion on the G…
Reid: Can you get that? Yep, there you go.
Cathy: Sorry. A forward motion on the G-spot, and I had to be very stimulated. But it was amazing!
Reid: Yeah.
Cathy: It felt so good.
Reid: And was it the kind of stimulation, because we talked about the G-spot in another video. You needed to be aroused.
Cathy: Yes.
Reid: You needed your G-spot to be aroused. It wasn’t just like, you know, starting cold and stimulating your G-spot, or anything.
Cathy: No. It was like an hour of foreplay, and really getting relaxed and comfortable. Also knowing the person I was with was very open to it happening. Because if I had been with someone who freaked out that would have really been uncomfortable.
Reid: Yeah.
Cathy: We had a towel under me so that I knew that even if I peed the worst thing that happens is I change all the sheets. It wasn’t that big a deal. But it didn’t smell or taste like pee, and it felt like nothing I had ever felt before.
Reid: And now do you squirt every time, all the time, now? Or…
Cathy: No.
Reid: OK.
Cathy: No, and it’s a specific kind of stimulation and I have to be very comfortable with someone. And the first time I’ve slept with I’ve never been able to until I know the person really well.
Reid: OK. Now, so if I’m playing with somebody and they’re not squirting should I take that to mean they’re not comfortable with me?
Cathy: No, no, not at all. I also don’t squirt all the time with someone I am comfortable with.
Reid: OK.
Cathy: It’s just something that can happen. And I know the typical position that works for me and the type of stimulation, so usually ask them to get a towel just because it can be… There’s liquid there.
Reid: Get a towel.
Cathy: So, can you share your experiences.
Reid: When somebody says, “Get a towel.” I’m like, that’s a good sign.
Cathy: Yes!
Reid: So, from my experiences, the biggest mistakes that people are doing… You know, as Americans, and certainly in other parts of the world as well, we have this overachievingness that is seeping into the bedroom. No pun intended. And, what ends up happening, we’re trying so hard that people just can’t enjoy and relax. And then we use us not being able to squirt across the room, or knock over a lamp, or something.
Cathy: I can’t do that.
Reid: But we make it mean something bad about ourselves, and then we get more into our heads. So we use this, our lack of Olympic ability, because we watch a lot of mainstream porn where there are these amazing sexual athletes, and we judge ourselves for not being… Not running 3.5, 40, or three-two, or whatever it is.
Cathy: Or making the woman orgasm 10 times in 5 minutes, or whatever.
Reid: So the thing I tell people is, you know, do it or try to do it because it’s fun and you’re trying to learn something cool about each other’s bodies, not to prove something to yourselves. Lots of foreplay, and that you need everybody kind of revved up.
Cathy: Yep.
Reid: And amped up, because if your erectile tissue isn’t fully online and engorged you’re basically… And Sheri Winston talks about this where Amrita, in a Tantra community, it’s called Amrita squirting the juice that comes out.
Cathy: Squirting is.
Reid: That we’re trying to hard to make something happen before the body is ready.
Cathy: Yeah.
Reid: And the going theory right now, we don’t have hard science for it, but it’s that your urethral sponge is wicking water from your bloodstream and that’s what is coming out of the vagina is squirting out of the urethra… Which is kind of right at the opening, in front of the vagina. Which I remember, I didn’t even realize, “Wow, women don’t pee from their vaginas. It’s from the outside, right on the front.” So, there was a lot of anatomy.
Cathy: Yeah.
Reid: And not just women because now we have men with vaginas, too.
Cathy: Yes.
Reid: So people who own vaginas… So, a lot of foreplay, getting people ready. Not pressuring people to have to do it. And then the big things are, it’s G-spot stimulation. And for some people it’s kind of the come hither kind of motion. For other people it’s more the vibratory kind of motion where you’re stimulating by moving your fingers really quickly. It’s not so much about the in and out.
Cathy: Yeah.
Reid: You know, like the banging sensation.
Cathy: Right.
Reid: And everyone’s different.
Cathy: Yeah.
Reid: And the same person can be different from time to time, too.
Cathy: And the really cool thing is you get to explore and find out what feels good. And the worst thing that can happen is you have a good time.
Reid: Yeah. If you were doing it on the beach and a lot of sand was involved, there could be more worse things. But that’s not the video. Please leave your comments.
Cathy: Yes.
Reid: And greetings from the beach.
Cathy: Yay!
Reid: Bye.