What If Everyone Took Their Casual Sex MORE Seriously?
Do you — or someone you know — take their casual sex TOO casually?
Healthy, amazing, thriving relationships require strong communication skills, ample self-awareness, the courage to be honest with yourself and others, and emotional savvy. Full stop.
And, believe it or not, these skills also apply to healthy, amazing, thriving casual relationships and casual sex!
In fact, the reason so many people experience drama and upset in their relationships is that they take them TOO casually!
Let’s get serious, shall we?
From platonic friendships to casual sex to serious friends with benefits relationships, there are some really useful and important mistakes to avoid (and helpful things you can do!) that can help all of us build healthy, wonderful, self-expressed connections.
If you know you’re already curious about upping your casual sex skills (or know a friend in need), PLEASE go grab my Casual Sex Protocols Checklist — It’s FREE. (And it’s an excellent place to start!)
Not interested yet? Ask yourself a few questions:
- What if it were possible to keep folks who are in even the most casual-est of relationships feeling happy?
- What if YOU could create Friends with Benefits relationships with little to no drama?
- How about everyone feeling respected, fulfilled, and on the same page, even when it’s just hooking up?
- Would you enjoy experiencing MORE smiles, laughter, and good times even when it’s “just keepin’ it casual”?
Would experiencing things be worth it to you or someone you know? Are they even possible?
Yep. Worth it. Totally possible. But maybe I’m biased.
Either way, creating happiness and fulfillment whether it’s a casual or serious relationship takes knowing a few things… And when it’s “keeping things casual,” there are a few additional things to pay attention to which HELP ALOT! And that’s why I put together a free checklist of what I call the Casual Sex Protocols.
If you’re curious for a taste first, here are a few gems from the checklist:
- ✅ Casual Sex Protocol #1 – Limit sex with the same person to 1x a month.
For most people, it’s really hard to “fall in love” and “stay in love” if you only have sex with each other once every 28-30 days. For some folks, sex twice a month can work, especially if everyone follows the rest of the Protocols. The more frequently you have sex with the same person (especially GREAT sex), the closer you are to “having a relationship” whether you’re calling it that or not. Note: If you’re having sex with a lover more than 2x a week = You are definitely “having a relationship,” IMExpertO. - ✅ Casual Sex Protocol #4 – Beware The Morning Sex.
If you and/or your lovers imprint easily, having an unintentional sleepover (you have sex ‘til late in the night and it’s just more practical to crash in the same bed, or you accidentally fall asleep on each other and —Boom!— it’s morning!)… Realize that banging each other the next morning can flip the “you’re dreamy” switch and trigger imprinting. - ✅ Casual Sex Protocol #6 – Explore group sex.
It sounds crazy, but threesomes, foursomes, and moresomes change and diffuse imprinting triggers. I’m not saying that threeways and orgies will solve all the world’s problems, but if you suffer from falling in love easily, and you don’t want to “be in a relationship” right now, finding a few good people to explore group sex with (or attending a well run play party) might just do the trick! FYI, please check out my Safer Sex Elevator Speech article for tips (and a handout) on making safer sex sexy!
There are 12 checklist items in total in the Casual Sex Protocols. If any of the ones you’ve read so far pique your curiosity or tickle your fancy, then I think you will really enjoy discovering the other eight!
Already in a relationship? It might be a fun and illuminating relationship exercise to sit down with your loved one, print out the checklist, and go through the Protocols and discuss which protocols would have helped you in your love life when you were younger. What about your current relationship — Did you follow any of the Protocols? Sometimes we do and we didn’t even know that we were! Have fun exploring and learning about each other! Sometimes learning about the mistakes we made AND the things we got right back when we were younger can bring us closer together. I’ve also had clients share these protocols with their friends and even their college-aged children in order to help them avoid mistakes. Whatever your reason, please feel free to share this free, downloadable PDF link far and wide!
Hope this quick post was useful! Please leave a comment or shoot me an email and let me know if you have any questions you’d like me to answer or a checklist in mind that you’d like to see me create. I love hearing from folks. Even when I can’t reply to every comment or email, I do read them all!
Yours in building thriving relationships and love lives of all kinds,
REiD
