What’s an example of a caring ending ritual for releasing hooks and transitioning out of a deep connection?
With Reid Mihalko from www.ReidAboutSex.com and Cathy Vartuli from www.TheIntimacyDojo.com.
Cathy: Someone wrote and said, I’d like to see of examples of respectful goodbye rituals from long term partners to unhoop from each other and smooth out their own velcro hooks so they can go well and return keenly. Do you have any suggestions?
Reid: So, confusion ritual or transition rituals?
Cathy: This is Reid Mihalko from https://reidaboutsex.com/.
Reid: Cathy Vartuli from http://theintimacydojo.com/. Well, I think ultimately.
Cathy: He didn’t know I was gonna ask…
Reid: I never do, I think sitting down with your partners with that intentions and brainstorming what the ritual is, like creating the ritual for the two of you and treating what your needs are, is ultimately what you want because they’re like the unhooking or the visuals for me that I do with some grounding exercises and completion exercises is the idea you’re covered in velcro and you imagine the velcro the little hooky sides everyone that you covered in and straighten out your hooks so that you can’t, so you just don’t, and the second step is slightly imagine like your play do fun factory, imagine you can reverse it and hold the strands in so that it smooth, so that other people can’t glam in to you.
Cathy: Or you can put some slipper stuff.
Reid: You can do whatever you want, she rituals it, I don’t put slippery stuff on, I don’t do that, I never done that. I don’t know what you’re talking about. Greenex?
Cathy: Yes, so there’s nothing to grab.
Reid: So they should covered themselves with chemicals?
Cathy: Energetically, it works for me, coz then I feel there’s no, people can’t throw stuff it will stick out. So I like also close appreciation, so I do this for the house I have for ten years [inaudible 00:02:17] I went around and I appreciated different experiences I’ve had and different safety I experienced there, I think the house and I wish it well. I brought and sit in there, I know I return my energy because for me, I feel like I spend a lot of time with a person or a thing my energy tends to get connected with them. And I thanked it, appreciated it and I wish it well and I invited my energy to return to it.
Reid: There you go. See, it’s that so simple. Figure those things out for yourselves, ask other people about completion rituals and grounding techniques so you can count a crowd source from your friends and what not. For those of you who are watching this thing like “that’s a little wo-wo for me” understand that sometimes you’re doing completion ritual for the other person coz that what they need and that kind of role playing and going through things whether you’re a wo-wo or not is a very powerful way to complete a ceremony like a graduation process. And American culture has forgotten the power of ritual and of ceremony most of you coz we’re all subjected to 8th grade graduation that works way too freaking long, and we’re just like “ahhh” and then you’ll have this approach in rituals in general. So understand ceremony and rituals are super powerful things.
Cathy: And sometimes what people invest to lot in can have energy for people so, I think, I love candles as part of that and for traditional a lot of people from the wedding each have own their vigil candles, and they light the center one so maybe you’ll have a center one that lights together and you reach each individual candles and you light them and together for the center one.
Reid: Whatever those things are, those things are powerful for your brain or powerful for the other person and that’s something that they need or people, things that they need. That kind of conscious on coupling and completion can be really powerful and important. It’s okay to not like them at all and to be like “this is bullshi*” and they can still be powerful for the other person. So, in the interest of helping dissolve whatever transition or whatever connection that you have if it’s not crossing some weird boundary of yours, show up to do the ritual, and show up for graduation folks. It’s important for your parents. There you go. We are leaving on that note. Leave comments and what suggestions do you have for completion grounding and coupling ceremonies and rituals. Good?