Don’t Walk On Egg Shells. Be Yourself For The Holidays!
Tired of always pretending to be someone else so people will love you? Learn about the difference betweet Self-expression and Attraction in this video by Reid Mihalko. Join http://www.Relationship10x.com Today!
Reid Mihalko from http://www.Relationship10x.com and http://www.ReidAboutSex.com presents Relationship10x Free Training Videos.
Reid: Hello everybody. It is Reid Mihalko from http://www.ReidAboutSex.com broadcasting you from http://www.Relationship10x.com where we transform your relationships by a factor of 10 in just 10 minutes a day. And our holiday challenge, is that we’re giving you 3 free videos, this is number 3 but there’s a bonus video. And this video is going to be 10-minutes of relationship training. Small bite size nuggets that you can implement to transform your relationships because sometimes this grand philosophical relationship ideas are just too hard to implement and we have busy, busy days and busy lives and holidays are busier than ever. So how do you transform your relationships so that there’s more fun and ease in them and today’s video, I’m going to teach you why relationships are failing faster than ever before. Why people are so upset or unsatisfied in their relationships and what you can do to start transforming that? Let’s get started. I’ve got my iPhone timer, I’m going to set it and we will see if we can get done with it in less than 10 minutes.
First off, recap. If you saw video number 2, and thank you for all your comments and all the buzz that’s being created by everything. I’m super, super appreciative about how much this information is getting around. Video number 2, if you didn’t watched already, you can jump back and watch it. We talked about difficult conversation formula. How you can start speaking up about the things that you’ve been withholding for so long. It is my belief that it’s you’re not saying, that’s destroying your relationships and that also includes the good stuff withheld appreciations and affirmation of acknowledgment over the relationship are just as detrimental as withholding all the scary stuff that you’re afraid to talk about. And if you watch video number one, you found out that for those you are oriented around romance like a dogs, affirmations are super, super important. So if you haven’t watched video one, jump back and watch that video and get your romance homerun homework in because in the fourth video, the bonus video, we’re going to announce our sex geek t-shirt winner.
Alright. Why are relationships failing more now than ever? Well, I have a theory and I think it’s a pretty good one. Basically, the reasons, the ways that we can measure success in relationship, have changed. It used to be in our great grandparents day especially you measured success in the relationship by duration. The longer your relationship lasted, the more successful it was. The more proof that you had that you’ve won. If you got married and you had kids and then you had grandchildren and you got to watch them grow up and you guys still together, you won at the game of life. Well, now a day’s duration, I don’t think is the metrics. It’s changed. And no one’s really talking about it as much although you can kind of see it out there in the ripples of what’s going on in relationships.
The other big thing that people were talked to do by culture and by the role modeling of the relationships we’ve grown up in is most people have picked up this bad habit. Okay this is a bad habit. And basically what it is, is that most people ask for what they think other people are going to be a yes to. Most people are asking for their calculating their paying attention in their relationships and trying to figure out what is it that the other person is going to be a yes to or actually okay with. We’re basically don’t want to rock the boat in our relationships because we want them to last longer. What this ends up doing is you end up walking on eggshells in order to serve your relationship. In order for you to last longer and that’s problematic over time because now we live in a relationship world where duration is not the metric anymore. The metric is changed rather than duration. I think what it is this days is its depth. It’s how deep do you go on your relationships, how honest, how transparent. That’s the new commitment. Honesty and transparency is now the new fidelity in the relationship where the people haven’t started talking about like this yet. And what that ends up doing is if depth, honesty and transparency is how you show your commitment to your relationships then this idea of asking for what you think other people will be okay with, that’s changing too. So it’s not just okay with, it’s not even that anymore. I mean hopefully, your partners are going to be able to handle your honesty. But now rather than this, you have to actually ask for what your truth is. What do you really want? What’s real for you?
Being honest and transparent and sharing your truth is not only going to bring your relationship deeper, but it threatens that it could end all the relationships all together. By you being absolutely honest and having the conversations, difficult conversations that you think that will end the relationship, if the relationship doesn’t end, if you guys end up staying together, then you’re living a relationship with the capital “R”. And that’s what really what Relationship 10x is all about. If you want to transform your relationships by a factor of 10, start going for depth and truth rather that walking on eggshells. It’s going to be a little bit hard thing to do but I’m going to give you a particular way of approaching it.
It starts of a lot of people in their dating world. What we try to do in a way we’re tapped in culture, is that we want to basically attract people. I’m going to figure out what I need to say or do or aware so that you will be attracted to me. You will find me alluring, you will find me irresistible, and that takes a lot of bandwidth. I’m spending a lot of time trying to figure out what to do that’s perfect. That’s going to work in my favor rather than that, I think what we should be doing with the actual relationship economy is now, is not so much attraction as its self-expression.
Self-expression is now what I think is the new economy in relationships. Where this will create more ease and openness and happiness in your relationship world in your communities with your friends, with your family. Well, maybe not your mom, maybe your mom doesn’t want you to be that self-expressed but if you pardon the committee, you figuring out who you want to be. What makes your happiest in the world and being that as loud and as proud as you feel like you can be and then seeing when you’re self-expressed who’s attracted to it.
This is where I think relationships are actually going and this is what part of what Relationship 10x is all about. Getting you to be more self-expressed, more transparent in your relationships. Once that you’re happier, but choose to the people who choosing in to having a relationship with you or actually having a relationship with the real you and you being the real you that can feel really scary is ultimately going to be something that makes you happier and takes way less bandwidth and energy in your life that you trying to figure out how to keep somebody attracted to you. Where this is super, super useful and important is when you start being the person who’s being who you want to be. You’re now role-modelling. You’re now a role-model and giving permission to the people in your relationship world to be like that. To be their version of self-express. If you add into that, they’re also getting better in having a difficult conversations that they know how to make you for that romance.
Now it all starts to come together. You’re starting too basically weave on relationship that we don’t have to hide anymore and the people that you’re in the relationship with aren’t hiding either. It doesn’t guarantee that you’ll stay together forever but that’s not the point anymore. Because what’s you want to do, you want to be more honest in go deeper in your relationship and the deeper that you go, the more honest that you are, and happier that you are, and the happier that your partners are, there’s a lot of room for you guys to figure out what relationship will be together. Ideally, you’re going to be happier, there’ll be more ease, there’ll be a lot more feelings of connectedness and the point isn’t to stay together longer, it’s to go deeper. And in going deeper, a side benefit of being more self-expressed and more honest with each other, is that people often choose to stay together longer.
In relationships in this age, are not about have to’s but about get to’s. If you want to expand your relationship deep in it and strengthen it. Create more success by a factor of 10, these three principles: how to keep your partner feeling romanced and loved, how to have a difficult conversations and being more self-expressed. Those 3 core concepts plus a whole other bunch that we can share but those 3 core ones are the ones that I want to give you for holidays.
Now, join us tomorrow, tomorrow or couple of days. Well, you’ll be getting a video. If you opted in and put your name and your email on the side, and you’re getting these emails, this notices that videos are up we’re going to be talking about in a couple of days how to listen to your partner’s body. Which really useful skill and you can use that to basically expand your abilities in bed. If you’re into that kind of thing.
Being able to listen in your partner’s body in regardless is a really useful skill set whether using it in bed or just using it at the dinner table. My goal is that you have more fun and ease this holiday season and these tools, these tips, these tricks, these philosophies in this 10 minutes chunks have been useful for you then after the fourth video I’m going to talk about a whole possibility of you taking this 10 minute bites, this small bites and integrating them in to your life. There’s a whole program for you to kick off 2013 and take all of that resolution, New Year’s Resolution and I want to make my relationships of my life better. I’ve got a whole 6-week program for you about how to take 10 minute bite size chucks of information throughout the week and integrate them so that this big tools and tips and tricks actually help you break your old habits and install and incur new habits in your relationships.
Please leave your comments below. Let me know what you think of this stuff how does the self-expression vs. attraction economy in relationships. How’s it feel for you? What do you think? Let me know, let me know, let me know. If you haven’t watched the video please watch them and let’s see. I think we finished in 10 minutes and I’ve been talking for another 2 minutes so I’m going to leave you go now. Thank you so much for being a part of Relationship 10x and happy holidays, everyone.