Walk With Reid Facebook Live: Self Care
Reid: Good morning sex geeks! It is Reid Mihalko from https://reidaboutsex.com/ and the… today is our time for our little morning walk and I am at I’m in the Oakland, California right now. Kind a kind of on the the water channel that cuts off Oakland from Alameda and the and I thought it’ll be a good day today to kind of go outside and I’m searching to find my light. That’s a little bit better but it’s also windy here. So let me know if you can hear me and how, how the sound’s going? I’ve got my little selfie stick. I’ve got my microphone into the phone and I even remember to bring my battery today so how can I run out of battery? We’re just going to run out of space to walk. And, and today I’m going to talk about self-care and there oh, hard to hear you. Okay. Cool. So now we’re going to do this. I’m going to take the mic and put it near to my face. How is that working? Is that good? People were jealous hi Leanne! Okay great. Alright! So people should be able to hear me if I do this way it, it looks it looks less sexy but it’ll work fine.
So I want to talk about self-care today for my sex educator workshop leader friends, I’d sent out an email the other day just kind of talking about you know a lot of my peers and friends are having a lot of emotion these days’ post-election and, and now today on the inauguration and I was given just, just sharing some, some ideas and you know the rallying cry of, of why we need to stick together and not, not stop doing what we’re doing as educators just trying to help people and that for us like if, if I’m feeling a little bit rattled or ungrounded you know my friends have planned parenthood might lose their jobs because planned parenthood is getting go funded like all kinds of stuff. But if I’m feeling rattled then you know it’s okay for them to feel rattled. I mean it’s okay to feel rattled regardless of how I’m feeling but just like sharing I think and for those of you who have kids and stuff like letting like I think our in the way we think about leaders is that leaders are never rattled. They never shaken and I forget who said it first but like the idea that you know courage isn’t the absence of fear but it’s that you can continue on good days to, to take action when fear is present.
So I’m just sharing you know how, how I’ve been feeling lately and a lot of people wrote back really sweet things about what’s going on for them and, and one of the things underneath it all I think is about self-care and this is kind of leading up to my topic today because especially when you’re feeling fragile or wobbly or life is really stressful or whatever that looks like for you. Self-care is more important than ever and I I’m kind of like a Clydesdale of a of people in that like you know just hook me up to whatever is heaviest and I’ll, I’ll be able to just tow it wherever through the snow, through the mud and so as a hardy kind of individual, I never really had to quote and unquote deal with self-care. I just needed to remember that you know feed myself and I think it’s self-care is way more important than we’re taught at least as Americans and that when what I’ve noticed and learned about myself is when I’m feeling passive aggressive which is, is different than just being snarky because there’s a kind of there’s a kind of humour and snarkinnes when you’re really open and generous with your energy and you’re just being playful in me you know maybe you’re a little bit mean but it’s like mean in a humour way where you’re just kind a busting peoples balls, busting peoples ovaries and you’re trying to bond versus snarky when you’re pushing somebody away and that pushing away kind of snarky and just you know passive aggressive behaviour. In my opinion from my experience about myself was really realizing that that passive aggressive equals I’m, I’m missing something about my own self-care. I’m not speaking up about something I need and or they’re not even like I’m not speaking up about something I don’t know that I need and then identified yet and that kind of behaviour is, is the dashboard like signal that I need to like take care of myself and I need to look at what is it that I haven’t identified. What is it that I’m not asking for, what boundary of my own have I crossed? And looking at boundaries and agreements as a form as a type of self-care in a world where we’re taught to not take up space, in a world where we’re encouraged to not speak up. And in these days more than ever I think we need to be speaking up. We need to be taking action and sometimes you don’t know what the action is so we hesitate or we’re afraid of getting it wrong so we freeze. But the more resourced you are, the more that you’re taking care of yourself, the more that your tanks are full, the better you’re gonna be at being able to figure out think more clearly, what it is that you need.
And I’ve got my battery full here in my phone but somehow my low battery mode is up. So hang out one second as we fix things. If you want while we do this, hit some likes or hearts or whatever it is that makes make it rain little cool emoticons on my screen right now. I have to put my, my microphone down. Poop! And I don’t know why it’s not working right now. So let me check my battery. Hang on. I’ll give you a view of some boats while I do this. Please pardon our technical difficulties. Ahh! Alright! Why is my battery not working? I do not know. It should be working. So it looks like my phone is going to yet again to the best of my, my attempts to discharge so it sounds a litte bit a little bit pervy when you’re a sex educator when you say the word discharge. But so I’ll wrap it up here. I mean it was it wasn’t gonna be a long talk to begin with but I want to give you some boats and sunshine this is part of my self-care to get away from just my computer screen to get out at least once a day and get some fresh air, get some sunshine but looking for those situations where when you’re not at your best you’re being passive aggressive is not kind of self-care. Now the wind is directly on my face so now I definitely should, should warp this up. But think about it just the idea of working you would be asking for things, getting massaged, taking a nap, feeding yourself, drink more water, ask for things that you haven’t identified yet or schedule things into your programs in two days. That would allow you to show up better just as a person and, and have more resources in your relationships in you professional life because when you’re less passive aggressive then hopefully your relationships are better and also taking some information and giving yourself the things that you need as a means of role modelling for your loved ones that they can take care of themselves too so hopefully they’re less passive aggressive.
So I think that I’ve identified that my experiment to be down here by the boats in the water it’s just a way too windy. So that’s not.. I’m apologizing for the sound but I also wanna let you all know that it’s a beautiful day out at least for a little bit here in Oakland, California and I’m sending lots of love for the weekend. And what can you do for better self-care for yourself so that we’re less passive aggressive in our relationships?
I’ll leave it in the comments and if you want to read more about this go to https://reidaboutsex.com/decom.
D.E. C.O. M. I think that’s all good. Yeah. Decom that should give you a a free article to read and an I’ll I’ll post it in the comments as well.
Alright! Bye everybody! From a from the water with the wind and my batteries yet again about to discharge. What is up with that? Bye!