From Hand To Mouth workshop – Why Engorgement and Torque are Important for Her Pleasure
Sex and relationship expert Reid Mihalko of ReidAboutSex.com sharing why a woman’s erectile tissue being fully engorged is vital to her pleasure and why torquing a woman’s pelvic floor muscles equals awesome! This video taken from Reid and San Diego’s Isabella Kanold’s 2-Day workshop entitled “From Hand To Mouth: Hand-Sex and Oral Techniques for Giving and Receiving Pleasure with Female Bodies” – Filmed Feb 2011 in Encinitas, CA
Reid: When this erectile tissue when this stops starts to become engorged. There’s more blood flow, all the nerve endings that around starts to become more sensitive. They basically, they’re already sensitive but when they more blood flow and more engorged, they become, everything’s online now in the same way that when us guys were masturbating, you just throw once you lube in your hand and just kind of play with your flaccid penis not the same sensations as when you’re hard and you’re playing with your penis. So it’s very similar and I’ve done this, we’d talked this men would be like, “Oohhh” and a one guy go, “Oh! Oh my God this makes so much sense!” because we have the tendency if you’re getting the visual cues for porn to just think we just stick our fingers and we’ll start going and what’s happening for most women, the experiences nothing is really ready yet. Everybody’s body is different. Some people’s bodies take a long time, some people don’t. Everybody’s different. And for some people like the ones that take a long time, they get frustrated because it was like, “I wish I was quicker.” I don’t really have anything like magic, ‘ting!’ to relieve your brain with that. There is really like love in our bodies as much as you can and sometimes your love is frustrating like…
Isabella: And then find things that work for you and when you find that something that can trigger you on really fast, remember that and then communicate that.
Reid: And those can be anchors to… we’ll talk a little bit about quickies like how do you create quickie experiences that aren’t painful and some of that was about what’s erotic. I’ll talk about that when I get to it. But around anonymous stuff pumping when… basically, we’re just playing with somebody’s genitals, you giving them time to for their genitals to get warmed up.
Man 1: Yeah just the experience where if you suck for a long time it will fill up and it’s like I just wonder if that’s the same type of engorge then where it’s like blood flows in there.
Reid: It’s not like you’re creating a hickey it’s not like you’re sucking blood into their basically you’re sucking up in somebody’s genitals, you’re stimulating their genitals, there’s probably more blood coming on the way. Unless they super don’t like it. It’s not like you can speed up somebody’s engorgement and I don’t think that you should be trying to figure out how to do that faster. What you should be doing is enjoying the time you’re spending there and understand that if I spend more time, I’ll get better result usually. And sometimes you just don’t have time. Just like your parents will be home in 5 minutes, “Let’s go, now!” Then you have to figure out how do we do this and that’s when knowing your lover’s bodies and knowing your own body, that’s one of the things that would really helpful because well did you this and that and you tell me this on my ear and that voice if you do then, we’re good to go and those are more like erotic anchor points which were useful when you need help. Pull this latter, push this button and twist this and we’re break. That’s not what we’re talking about today but all of these systems for that like, ‘I’m ready’. These are the systems that partially what we need to be online and ready.
Why the engorge part is important is not only like when we play with our penises, not only do I feel more sensation because there’s more blood there and the nerves are kind of woken up but basically, somebody’s pelvis, there’s all this muscles, just sheets of muscle, your pubic pelvic floor. All these muscles are woven and then there’s your diaphragm and all this other stuff but basically, all a lot of these systems and the anus as well. All this tubes your urethra, your clit that comes out to the outside, they’re all running through this sheets of muscles and like when you squish like you just kind of pump your butt and squish your ass like almost you try not to pee like you’re peeing and you have to stop it, peeing… stop it. Just pumping that your pc muscles, what you’re doing is your squeezing the muscular tube that’s around its nerves centers and then releasing them, squeezing, releasing them so you’re creating sensations on the inside.
Those muscular muscles and tubes that run through this sheets of muscles that line in your pelvic floor. So when I squeeze my muscles and moving the pelvic floor muscles and then relaxing them and moving them. When I change my body positions, I’m moving those sheets of muscles, okay? Pretend this is your clit and it’s coming through this sheets of muscles. Squeezing it and relaxing. This more the anus, right? Squeezing and relaxing, squeezing, relaxing. So I can create just by shifting my body torque on whole systems of nerve endings inside my pelvis that are there to create pleasure. It works best when everything is engorged because they’re tighter and then the shifting creates more sensation. This is why we want to hump because you’re unconsciously wanting to create more pleasure and so you’re torqueing your own genitals basically and nerve endings inside your pelvis, okay? Yes.
Part of whatever that we’re talking and doing our demo was actually ways where you can manually manipulate and torque people’s pelvic floor muscles and that works better in people’s erectile tissue is engorged. Make sense?
So this is kind of the basics for the approach of hand sex is you’re just playing with people’s erectile tissue and the nerve centers in their pelvis to generate more pleasure and hopefully you’ve communicated so that they’d feel safe and the touch is consensual like something you can actually let their walls down so physiologically they’re not throwing up blocks as well and once you do that and then for you as a person who owns a vagina and the vulva, if you can get out on your own head, just be in your body so that you can sense the sensation that you’re having, that’s the start to all kind of buildup and create like a lot of almost like a feedback like you start sensing your pleasure and the sensing of your pleasure is pleasurable which creates more sensation and then you have somebody who’s doing the right things and you’re communicating so you feel safe and all of the sudden just the ability to feel becomes larger and that amount of pleasure is ideally creating all kinds of sorts of unique benefits. Some of them will be orgasm but not always. That’s kind of a quick boom, boom, boom. Make sense?