I Can’t Orgasm With My Boyfriend, What Do I Do?

by Reid on October 17, 2019

I Can’t Orgasm With My Boyfriend, What Do I Do?




Cathy: Someone wrote in and said that. I have tons of orgasms when I’m by myself masturbating. But having orgasms with my partner is challenging. I’d love to hear what you have to say about that. And how can I go about having more orgasms with my partners?


Cathy: This is Reid Mihalko from http://www.ReidAboutSex.com/.


Reid: Cathy Vartuli from http://www.TheIntimacyDojo.com/.


Cathy: We really love when you write in these questions because there’s a rule of thumb for everybody who writes in a question. There’s probably a thousand people that are either dope to write in or afraid to write in and have the same problem. So one of the reasons we do these videos is so someone anywhere in the world at three in the morning can Google and here comes the answer at least some people. I can give them some direction and compassion.


Reid: We’re not alone in the things that we struggle with.


Cathy: So thank you for sharing


Reid: You’re not the only one.


Cathy: Yeah! Thank you, and thank you for opening the door for other people to get this information ,too.


Reid: Good job.. What’s your answer?


Cathy: I was looking to how you’re actually getting stimulated and are you taking care of your own body when you’re having sex. A lot of women are acculturated that were supposed to please their partner take care of them and were not listening to what our bodies need. So I have a lot of friends that are really fast to gate. I need a lot of foreplay, I need cuddling time. I need to feel connected with someone. I won’t usually orgasm if I don’t have those things so and my lovers know that if I’m not in the mood we cuddle usually like 20 minutes later, I’m like okay lets go. But just listening to your body and knowing what your body needs and if you orgasm me on your own. Then you’ve already gotten some ideas of what kind of stimulation will work for you. If you start incorporating it doesn’t have to be penis and vagina for it to be sex with your partner or if you’re loving your Hitachi can you use it while your partner is penetrating you. Or your partner use it on you and you can show them how you like to be touched and where. And start leaving that in so that you’re getting what your body needs met. You’re listening to what your body needs It’s like Wow I need to slow down or this is really hot but I’m not going to orgasm and I’d really like too can we try this thing?


Reid: This is awesome advice, I have to tell you what going on my mind.


Cathy: Okay Please..! Coz you were laughing.


Reid: Because I like, I know, this is like this is how this works in my head. So you are talking about you know using all the advice. Yes to all the advice Cathy just said. So, one of the things I think is most that is not the most challenging but a challenge for penis owners is that culture told us to be real man.


Cathy: You have to fuck her to orgasm..


Reid: You have to fuck her to orgasm… We have a lot of weirdness around our partners getting off as a sign of our own masculinity. and I’m saying this is a cisgendered guy  because you could be a trans person and identifying whatever gender and have a penis and maybe the acculturation is there for you or not. Generally speaking whatever your gender most people feel more sexually accomplished when they got their partner off. What we don’t talk about is if you have a lover who only reaches orgasm by using a Hitachi in this example.


Cathy: There are plenty of people if that’s the case.


Reid: Your penis could be blessed by angels and it’s not going to fucking do this trick. So the flip as a sex geek is “Oh how do you like to cum? Like what gets you off really well and how do we take what you’re doing and pair it into, invite it into how we play together. So for me there’s a long story but it’ll be worth it I think so for me it’s like, Oh so if a lover tells me “oh well… I only cum from Hitachi” my immediate responses will” do you want to bring me Hitachi with us?” Let’s have a threesome like you know and then will you show me because I want to know because it will help my creativity.


Cathy: Oh well it’s really geeky to watch someone show you. And then Guys is it right? How about this? Do you like this..?


Reid: the other thing that’s happening is I am imprinting or not imprinting I’m role modeling that it’s okay for you to use Hitachi in bed. Because a lot of people who only get of only using toys feel shame that because the other side of the acculturation is there. If I can’t cum by your penis there’s something wrong with me. So again normalize the shit out of whatever needs to happen, right? If you can only cum by me talking to you in my Batman’s voice, please tell me that! Because my batman voice is amazing and then. I will dirty talk of streak in my batman voice.


Cathy: I want to hear this dirty talk in batman voice.


Reid: That’s another video… Not a problem …But then it’s like you know, So now I’m can fucking you or like … “Oh my god this is so amazing I’m going to bust my [Inaudible 00:05:10]” you know whatever…right? That’s horrible but do you like it like that? Don’t you..? Take it robin … oh now were doing role play. I’d like to do role play all day.. But if that is what you need, I won’t what are the odds I’m going to pull out of the eater’s batman voice, Robin role play plus Hitachi on your clit exactly like this in this position only.


Cathy: But it would probably makes you feel like a rock star if you if someone told you and you could do that.


Reid: Maybe I’m like “Oh.. My fragile masculinity my penis that was blessed be angels is not enough”. But I’m.. I have the emotional IQ to realize oh that’s both that’s culture fucking with me. Let’s get back to that voice and Hitachi. Where this all comes to wear like 3 minutes ago or 5 minutes ago. I was sitting here being like what’s going on? Was the image of I like to lie on my stomach and have people straddle my ship, my neck who have all of us and have them basically hump in reverse cowgirl the little knob on the base of my skull there’s a name for that spot. Somebody tell me what that’s called. I love that it’s hot for me and it feels great. Now I’m like I need somebody to buzz off while they do it. Because I’m like that would probably that vibration on their clit and on my skull would probably feel awesome. so that’s the reason I needed to tell you what was going on. But why that’s such a fun idea for me is normalizing that I can use a vibrator I’m asking for think something I really like. If you cum on my skull I just think that’s fun and cool because who gets to do that? And it doesn’t to be about my penis.


Cathy: It’s harder to hear batman voice when you’re faced total effect..


Reid: I know… it’s harder, harder, dude, harder! So we should probably in this video it’s been going on for way too long.


Leave a comment in your best batman voice.

Leave a Comment

Previous post:

Next post: