Do you wish your life was more exciting? More fulfilling? That you were surrounded by people and activities that nourished you? Do you long to be more charismatic?
You can have/be all of these things, and they’re more achievable than you think.
In Part 1 of this 2-part article series, I talked about where charisma goes to die, what makes people unattractive, and the a-ha moment I had while teaching, which helped me make sense of -and now be able to powerfully teach- what it is that creates attraction, charisma, and powerful happiness.
It’s a surprisingly simple concept made of 5 steps that can make your life look very different in just a few months. Here’s the a-ha concept without the steps…
If you want to attract more exciting people in your life, if you want to be more charismatic and happy: Create your own Thrilling Life by Doing Things That Thrill You.
Just because the above concept is “simple,” doesn’t mean it’s “easy” to master, hence the 5 steps. I explained in Part 1 how Culture has trained us to be experts in some very bad, very self-destructive and disempowering habits. Deeply ingrained and societally reinforced habits like these can be tough to break; however, there’s good news! We’ve got two things in our favor…
First, I’ve got a feeling that you’re the kind of person who’s passionate about taking their life to the next level, who’s fed up with the fear and frustration Life forces us to tolerate and that you’re game for upping the “awesome-sauce” in your life, in your relationships, and in the bed room!
So allow me to make this whole process easier for you as I cheer you on towards the second thing we’ve got going for us… Those 5 Steps! Think of them as my personal charisma recipe guaranteed to thrill…
5 simple steps that will undo the bad habits Culture’s drilled into us:
1. Do more things that excite you. Truly, deeply, nourishingly exciting to you.
2. Socialize and connect with the people you meet when you’re doing those exciting things. What MeetUp.com groups and events focus on doing your exciting things? Where are the “watering holes” that your “species” of people are congregating at? Do the detective work, show up, and enjoy doing the things that you already find fun while socializing and making friends with your fellow, like-minded, people.
3. Design/Schedule more of those activities and people into your life. On a daily/weekly/monthly basis. Put ’em into your calendar, set the appropriate alarms and reminders, and get your butt there! None of these steps does you any good if you don’t actually do them.
4. Invite friends. Doing Steps 1 thru 3 is always harder when you do them alone. There’s a good chance your friends are probably yearning to do more exciting things in their lives, too, but you’re the person who’s actually reading this article. YOU know the 5 steps. They don’t. So invite your friends to do these activities with you and see who shows up. If no one takes you up on your offer, don’t fret. Once the things I talk about below start gaining momentum, you’ll probably witness them changing their behavior and wanting to come with you. Why? Because of how they’re witnessing your life transforming!
5. Repeat Steps 1 thru 4.
If this whole process already has you feeling overwhelmed, don’t worry, I’ve got a free video you can signup for that will help you gain clarity, overcome that pesky overwhelm, and take action.
Remember, taking baby steps is almost always more empowering and useful than trying to “do it all at once.” Creating huge, sweeping changes in your world is actually a daily process. Even one, tiny step forward each day adds up to miles of progress over three months, 8 months, a year and a half.
Bonus Points If You Make The Mundane More Fun
Doing more exciting things for yourself each day will help you make amazing progress towards tapping into your natural charisma. If adding thrilling things to your life from Steps 1 thru 5 above seems too scary, why not start building your “thrill muscles” by making the mundane, daily tasks you always do a tad more thrilling? This can be a useful strategy to build up to larger thrills.
If you’re a nerd like me, developing your X-man super power to spot everyday tasks in your life and realize how you can sprinkling some thrill onto them can be geekily exciting. This is especially true when you can discover ways to make your daily “responsibility routines” and chores more intriguing and delightful. Responsibility routines are those things you kind’a have to do to keep your world in working order. Paying the bills, putting gas in the car, doing laundry, going grocery shopping, etc.
As you apply what I talk about in the video below (I even have a worksheet and a walk-you-through-it training video you can get to make the whole process easier, too!), you can start pinpointing what thrilling things YOU can add into your daily life today!
For example, maybe listening to informative podcasts like Sex Nerd Sandra (Perhaps an episode that yours truly appears on… Hint, hint) when doing the laundry or walking the dog will feed your creativity while making sure you’ve got clean underwear and a happy pooch! I’m a huge Star Trek dork (Rest in peace, Leonard Nimoy), and answering emails wearing my Trekkie slippers and Mr. Spock t-shirt just makes that task more fun!
Honing your ninja thrill skills to transform those mundane, daily tasks into activities that are more nourishing to your soul, plus adding in Steps 1 thru 5, will have huge, cumulative effects on how you feel about yourself. These actions practiced weekly, monthly, yearly can take your life from dull and heavy to more playful and thrilling!
The side effects of living a thrilling life are amazing…
When you do things that thrill you, there’s a GREAT chance you’re actually stepping into living a life that’s in alignment with your full self-expression. Or at least you’re heading in that direction.
When doing activities you love rather than what Culture has “told you” you “should” be doing, you’ll naturally become more turned on and alive. By doing things that excite you, you start becoming the person that makes YOU happiest, and that kind of alignment and glee naturally radiates outward. It shows regardless of your age, your race, your size, even whether your introverted or extroverted.
Have you ever met a quiet person who was talking about or actually doing their favorite thing? Didn’t they just seem to vibrate with excitement even though they were still being shy? Did they seem more alluring, more attractive to you?
The excitement and vitality that naturally starts to radiate from you when doing thrilling things is not only palpable, it’s contagious! Simply sharing about your day (when it’s filled with your favorite thrills) can begin to excite those around you, and that kind of happiness rubs off.
Living a thrilling life doesn’t mean you’ll never have bad days or struggles in life. It doesn’t mean that you won’t be sad ever or have to deal with stressful things, but it does mean that you will probably have more of your needs met and that your “emotional tanks” will be more full, which means you’ll have more “reserves” when things get tough.
Things getting tough inside a life that you’re already loving is very different from struggle bearing down on a life you hate.
This kind of “living in alignment with yourself” is an essential ingredient in what creates charisma. At Sex Geek School For Gifted Sex Geeks, my online business course for sex educators, we teach people how to design businesses that help the people that thrill them the most, solving the problems that thrill them the most by teaching and sharing the information in the teaching styles that thrill them the most. The effect: sex educators who light up, who are thrilled about their jobs and what they’re teaching! People want to hire a coach or therapist that’s thrilled by what they do, not someone who’s “kinda excited.” And no one wants to hire the burnt-out, grumpy sex educator.
The same holds true for YOUR life. People are attracted and drawn to those who are thrilled with their lives. People get turned on and excited by being around happy people. YOU automatically become MORE engaging and charismatic by stepping into what thrills you. And you don’t have to fake any of it! It’s organic. It’s charisma that happens naturally.
This isn’t an overnight change, but it gets easier the more you take those baby steps. YOU can apply this process to your personal life and get to watch how tapping into your glee touches the lives of those you love…
Since doing the things that make you happy actually flies in the face of what Culture tells us we should be doing (Remember in Part 1 where I walked you through how we’re conditioned to not ask for what we want and, instead “putting our oxygen masks on first,” to practice self-sacrifice?)… People will often begin to see YOU as inspiring and courageous when you start stepping into what thrills you.
Doing things that thrill you + the happiness that exudes from being in alignment with your self-expression = charisma. Who doesn’t want to be more inspiring and charismatic for their children? Their loved ones? Their co-workers?
How YOU Can Naturally Be More Charismatic…
Take a few minutes right now to do the following:
1) Write a list of all the things you’re waiting to do or have always wanted to do. ALL of them! Don’t explain why you’re not doing them, just write what you want to do. Brainstorm, let yourself dream, and let that pen or pencil write… Write down everything from the small things, to the improbable, and the impossible. I double-dog dare you! 🙂
Many things we think are impossible can be achieved with a different mindset and/or some adjustments. Don’t cut yourself off from the magic of your creativity and dreams because part of your brain says you can’t have it or it can’t be done. Just write!
2) Find someone you trust to share your brainstorming and dreams with. Please don’t pick an Eeyore type person who poo-poo’s on new ideas and creativity. Share with someone in your life who will do this exercise along with you, someone who can capture a list of their own thrilling things and wants to share. Find THAT person and inspire each other!
3) Get curious about how you can create something thrilling from your list, TODAY. It can be something small, but get started by scheduling it on your calendar!
Watch the video. Take a few minutes to do writing exercises above. Share your lists with friends and post ’em on Facebook. And don’t be afraid to copy each other’s most thrilling ideas and implement them. Whenever you hear others’ ideas that ping your “thrill button,” write those down and start paying attention. There may be clues in those ideas to help set you on your path to discovering hidden dreams, thrills, and adventures. The concepts in this article can take some practice to master. I promise it will get easier as you go. It’s worth your effort and time. When you look back on your life years from now, you will have far fewer regrets, and far more fulfilling memories of self-expression, adventure, and delight.
What Ideas/Insights Did These Ideas Spark In You?
I invite you to share your ideas in the comment sections below! I love reading what awesome-sauce you’re cooking up and I want to respond. Join me in living a thrilling life!
Sex geekily yours,
If you’d like me to email you access to a short, free training video where I’ll go deeper talking you through these concepts and cheering you on…