How much do you hold yourself to patterns that don’t really work… To self-expression that isn’t really you anymore?
Reid and I were just eating BBQ and discussing Camp, (This is Cathy Vartuli writing this email, btw. I asked Reid if I could share a big a-ha moment I had last night and he said yes…) and the conversation took a really deep turn in context… Reid is a BBQ fan, fyi, and it’s always entertaining to watch him… He had to talk around the ribs he was eating.
We were talking about permission and who we allow ourselves to be.
It evolved out of setting intentions for Camp, and how we make a difference in people’s lives. And I asked Reid how he does it.
I LOVE how Reid gives permission for people to be who they didn’t know they were. That’s one of the things I value the most about him. He helps me discover expressions of me that feel so right, so true, very real and… Me.
Parts of me that I didn’t even know existed. I’ve never met someone who creates that strong a safe place, and the permission for people to BE what they never dreamed they could be, or what they only dreamed in the very hidden parts of their minds when they thought no one was looking…
I was trying to get him to put how he does it into words because I’m a total geek, and if someone can do something that cool, I want to be able to do it, too.
I asked him: “How do you create that energetic field where people get to discover things about themselves that they didn’t know existed? How do you help them explore what they don’t know they don’t know?”
He said: “You give that permission to yourself.”
I threatened to steal his BBQ if he didn’t explain.
He continued: “Can you give yourself so much permission that other people get permission, too? Can you allow yourself to discover your undiscoveredness?“ (I’m pretty sure he coined the word “undiscoveredness” over greens and bbq ribs at a local dive).
It was one of those conversations where I was totally engaged and intrigued, and very confused.
I would love to discover my undiscoveredness. But how the hell do I do that when I don’t know what I don’t know?? When I don’t know what it is that I haven’t discovered?
Don’t you need someone to help you find the unknown?
He said it can be great to have someone inspire you, but just allowing yourself to BE that, to take small and large steps into the unknown of “you,” that’s how you discover what isn’t discovered yet.
Sort of like a living meditation, where you just notice what experiences feel like and let your being lead you to the self-expression that makes you happiest, that is, essentially, your “you” of discovery. I could see how giving yourself permission like that would be instrumental in relationships, in life, in business.
And that just BEing that person, in small or large steps… THAT person is inspiring because so many people don’t even know they can give themselves that type of permission.
I was really excited about the conversation. I love to inspire and help people step out of the hamster wheel of their lives- to break free and be inspired by who they themselves are.
I asked Reid for permission to share this with you. Because he does create permission for people to discover their undiscoveredness, and because I had a burning desire to try to capture the essence of our conversation in words -to anchor it for myself, but also to nudge you to give yourself permission today!
I know that you are wanting to reach and inspire people, to make a difference in your life and the lives of others- that’s why you signed up to geek out with Reid.
If you discovering your undiscovered passions and self-expression (not just in your personal life, but in your business/profession as a sex educator) could inspire others to be bigger and happier than they ever thought, more alive and creatively engaged with life… Wouldn’t that feel amazing?
Imagine, if you can, actually making a living and paying your bills inspiring people like that!
Being around a powerful permission giver like Reid can juice you up, and create purpose and focus. Learning how to be a permission giver for yourself and others… My guess is that this is why you do what you do.
We are permission givers in the realms of sex and intimacy!
And what is your undiscoveredness?
To take this back to the reason Reid and I were talking about his permission giving superpowers, I was at Sex Geek Summer Camp last year.
It was awesome! I loved the curiosity and the depth Reid taught at. He focused on self-expression and self-understanding, and applied it to the business of being a sex educator in a way that transformed a lot of lives.
And I think the way he has Camp flowing this year will be even more powerful. Because part of discovery is trying out different ways of being and seeing how they fit for you.
It’s really nice if all the ways you’re investigating building your career (and your personal life, too!) are in integrity and aligned with your philosophy and beliefs… And Reid creates that, too.
But when you have a black belt-level permission giver, who is also a marketing and relationship geek, guiding you towards clarifying and aligning your business and it’s direction… Magic happens.
I want that for you. I want you to experience and create Magic. I want you to find those delicious and inspiring parts of yourself that you didn’t know to dream that were there, but that you’ve been longing for your whole life.
If that speaks to you, please join Reid and me (I’ll be teaching at camp, and also organizing and keeping things flowing behind the scenes, too!) at Sex Geek Summer Camp at the end of July.
The magic is closer than you think!
Excited for all of us,
P.S. When else could you take 5 days off from “default life” to discover ways to create powerful permission and reveal what is undiscovered about you?
P.P.S. If you’re a yes, please FWD or post this email and let a friend or peer of yours know today that you think they have the potential to become (or are already!) a permission giver that touches and transforms lives!